Heaven's BBS | Text

[deniles]

Posted by: Anonymous
Date: July 3rd

- - -

ATTENTION ALL SINGLES

Are you having trouble in love?

Are you missing out on relationships?

Wonder why your significant other left you?

Worry and wonder no longer, with the first book, from the man of romance, 'Secrets to Love; The Art of Being a Romantic' by author 'Zero'.

Learn great first date tips, and how to score a 'home run', if you know what I mean. Enjoy long term love advice, and truths about what love really means.

Order yours today, or buy it in your local bookstore.


[ooc: it's all advice you can get from the internet, Niles is being an asshole again.]

Comments

[lostinshadows]

[...........]

What the hell?

Anon Text

[deniles]

Excuse me, are you interested in love?

[lostinshadows]

Not interested. Who would even buy this, anyway?

[chickshades]

great
are we gonna have to install an ad blocker for the bbs now?

Anon Text

[deniles]

This isn't spam at all. This is true honest advice.
And you sound like you need it the most. I'll send you a free copy.

[chickshades]

its spam if i didnt ask for it!
how much are you getting paid to piss people off with these ads then
cause thats a pretty shit job you have
you realize no one likes assholes like you right?

[bartenderizing]

...
.

who the hell would order a book like that
especially by someone named zero?

[ WHY IS HE GETTING SPAM. CAN'T THE DEAD REST IN PEACE? ]

[deniles]

[NO NEVER.]

Out of pure desperation in searching for love.
Shall I put you down for one? Two? Maybe more?

[bartenderizing]

[ This afterlife is really hell. ]

none dammit

in what way does it sound like i wanted the damn thing?

[shiitan]

oh what good advice

I'll go ahead and pass it around to others

[ROSS........]

Anon Text

[deniles]

Certainly recommended. It makes a great gift too.

[shiitan]

that's very true. what are you going to do when they sell out? I'm sure it'll happen quickly

-- Not Here --

[moonlitknight]

[ What a moronic piece of trash. ]

-- Not Here --

[deniles]

[that's no way to talk about yourself.]

[cuteshit]

Dude, are you seriously trying to make money off teaching people how to hook up?

Anon Text

[deniles]

Is that so wrong?

[cuteshit]

Just seems weird to me. People pay for that shit?

Anon; text

[volksdaemon]

The truth is love is bunk. There, saved you all some money.

0/10, will not be buying.

Re: Anon; text

[deniles]

You know, it's okay to admit that you're going to be dying alone.

Re: Anon; text

[volksdaemon]

Hah! As if. When I die, I'm taking someone else down with me. No chance it'll be alone.

[candyconsumption]

...Surely this is a different Zero than the one I know.

[deniles]

Is it? Or maybe the Zero you know has a helpful side to them?

[candyconsumption]

Not this type of helpful. Though if it were, he should certainly take his own advice before trying to help others.

from: carl adler

[smilingbullet]

So is it supposed to be, like, a "don't-do-this" kind of joke book or is it for real?

anon

[deniles]

Of course it's for real. What kind of snake oil salesman do you take me for?