Heaven's BBS | Text

[deniles]

Posted by: Anonymous
Date: July 3rd

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ATTENTION ALL SINGLES

Are you having trouble in love?

Are you missing out on relationships?

Wonder why your significant other left you?

Worry and wonder no longer, with the first book, from the man of romance, 'Secrets to Love; The Art of Being a Romantic' by author 'Zero'.

Learn great first date tips, and how to score a 'home run', if you know what I mean. Enjoy long term love advice, and truths about what love really means.

Order yours today, or buy it in your local bookstore.


[ooc: it's all advice you can get from the internet, Niles is being an asshole again.]

Comments

[deniles]

If they are, they're wasting their time.

[volksdaemon]

You've got that right. The only thing people should be worshipping around here is a lover and even that's too romantic for my tastes.

[deniles]

You? Not a romantic? I'm shocked.

[volksdaemon]

Takes one to know one and obviously you're not either, so not like you can throw stones here.

[deniles]

Isn't it he who is without sin?

[volksdaemon]

Do I sound like the religious type either?

[deniles]

You sound like you need it.

[volksdaemon]

Hah! They'd never take me back in a million years. A coworker's tried.

[deniles]

Then looks like I'll need to try harder. Much harder.

[volksdaemon]

Going through so much effort for a stranger? How very evangelical of you.

[deniles]

What can I say?

You're sad and clearly are in desperate need for help.

[volksdaemon]

Not evangelical at all then. Catholic guilt is a powerful thing.

[deniles]

Catholic guilt is a worthless thing anyways.
So it's perfect for you.

[volksdaemon]

Excuse you, you're the one with the Catholic guilt trying to save my soul here.

[deniles]

I'm pretty sure your soul can't be saved anyways.

[volksdaemon]

At least we're on the same page. I could say the same for you.

[deniles]

Ah, you've caught me.

[volksdaemon]

You sound utterly broken up by this news. My apologies for breaking it to you.

[deniles]

I'll just have to come back as someone else then.

[volksdaemon]

We're getting into cycle of rebirth now are we? From this whole obsession with sex you've got going on, one would think you'd come back as a bonobo.

[deniles]

But then how would I have disappointing sex with people?

[volksdaemon]

There's a kink for everything. I'm sure you could find a person that into tiny pensises.

[deniles]

But then you'd have no one.