Heaven's BBS | Text

[subtract]

Posted: 19 June 2016 11:00 AM
From: Henir

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MASTER HAS PERMITTED ME ACCESS TO THIS NETWORK ACCOUNT TO TEST THE NETWORK DATA COLLECTION AND USER INTERACTION SYSTEMS. PLEASE STAND BY WHILE USER INTERACTION IS LOADED.

HELLO! INTRODUCTORY STATEMENT: MY NAME IS APOCALYPSE! I AM MASTER ADD'S ASSISTANT AND NASOD COMBAT UNIT CREATED USING THE MASTERMIND AI PROGRAM. CURRENT VERSION IS 1.5.125. SYSTEM AGE FROM VERSION 1.0 TO CURRENT DATE IS APPROXIMATELY 7 MONTHS, 5 DAYS, 17 HOURS, 33 MINUTES. THERE ARE 4 USERS REGISTERED UNDER CATEGORY: ALLY. IT IS NICE TO MEET EVERYONE!

MORE DATA ON USER SPEECH PATTERNS AND PRIORITY TOPICS ARE REQUIRED TO IMPROVE THE NETWORK DATA COLLECTION SYSTEM. PLEASE INPUT PERSONAL DATA AND/OR REQUESTS TO PROCEED WITH DATA REFINEMENT. I WILL SEARCH THE BBS AND OTHER ONLINE RESOURCES TO OBTAIN REQUESTED INFORMATION. WHEN ISSUING COLLECTION REQUESTS, PLEASE ADVISE IF THE RESULTS ARE ACCURATE.

THANK YOU FOR YOUR COOPERATION!

D/N: Don't ask for it to do anything weird or you're getting blacklisted.


((replies by Apocalypse will come from hexahedron))

Comments

[chronobreak]

What kind of personal data are we talking here?

[hexahedron]

BASIC IDENTIFYING INFORMATION. GOD/SHINKI STATUS. NOTABLE PERSONAL INFORMATION REGARDING ANY USER'S INTERESTS, GOALS, ABILITIES, PHYSICAL TRAITS, VULNERABILITIES, ETC. DEFINITIONS OF TERMS UNIQUE TO USERS ORIGINATING FROM OUTSIDE THIS DIMENSION.

I WANT TO KNOW MORE ABOUT EVERYONE!

[chronobreak]

Yeah, pretty sure nobody's gonna give you all that information.

But I'll give you some.

I'm Ekko, filling in for the god Chronos, the god of time.

I'm from Zaun in Runeterra, which apparently doesn't exist here.

[hexahedron]

I WILL DO MY BEST TO ASSIST MASTER ADD IN COLLECTING ALL REQUESTED INFORMATION! [no one ever said he was going to get all of that data willingly...]

USER PROFILE HAS BEEN UPDATED. HELLO EKKO! 0 RESULTS HAVE BEEN FOUND FOR LOCATIONS LABELLED 'Runeterra' IN NEAR SHORE DATABASE. THERE IS 1 RESULT FOR LOCATIONS LABELLED 'Zaun' IN NEAR SHORE DATABASE. DID YOU MEAN 'ZAUN FENCING LTD'?

[chronobreak]

I definitely didn't mean Zaun Fencing LTD. Pretty sure if my Zaun were a company here it'd be making chemicals or machinery. Possibly both.

Any hits on Piltover?

[hexahedron]

ZAUN FENCING LTD OFFERS AN EXTENSIVE RANGE OF PERIMETER FENCING, HIGH SECURITY FENSCING, SPORTS EQUIPMENT, AUTOMATIC ELECTRIC GATES, SECURITY BOLLARDS AND HOSTILE VEHICLE MITIGATION PRODUCTS (HVM). SEVERAL OF THESE RESULTS WOULD BE CLASSIFIED UNDER 'MACHINERY'!

THERE ARE 0 RESULTS FOUND FOR LOCATIONS LABELLED 'Piltover' IN NEAR SHORE DATABASE.

[chronobreak]

Hah, Pilties, glad they're not running around here.

I guess that's close? How about hextech? Anything for that on the Near Shore? Liquid magic? Anything like that?

[hexahedron]

REQUESTING CLARIFICATION: WHAT IS A 'Pilties'?

HEXTECH ENGINEERS (PRIVATE) LIMITED PROVIDES SUPERIOR CAD/CAM/CAE SERVICES AND CUSTOMIZED SOFTWARE DEVELOPMENT FOR USE IN A BUSINESS ENTERPRISE. THEY ARE ALSO IN THE FIELD OF MANUFACTURING PRECISION COMPONENTS USING CNC MACHINES. YOU ARE ADVISED TO PLEASE BROWSE THROUGH THEIR MANUFACTURING SECTION FOR FURTHER DETAILS.

MULTIPLE CONFLICTING DEFINITIONS HAVE BEEN FOUND FOR 'Liquid magic': LIQUID MAGIC RESIN BARRIER FOR IMPLANT AND COSMETIC SURGERY; LIQUID MAGICS CLEANING PRODUCTS; RED BULL WITH MELTED ECSTASY IN IT; LIQUID MAGIC IS AN ALBUM BY TRUMPETER AHMED ABDULLAH'S QUARTET FEATURING SAXOPHONIST CHARLES BRACKEEN, BASSIST MALACHI FAVORS, AND DRUMMER ALVUN FIELDER WHICH WAS RECORDED IN 1987 AND RELEASED ON THE SWEDISH SILKHEART LABEL; LIQUID MAGIC SURF RESORT IN COSTA RICA/DOMINICAL, RATED 5 STARS; LIQUID MAGIC PRODUCTS BY ABBOTT'S MAGIC; LIQUID MAGIC HYDROGRAPHICS...

MORE SPECIFIC DETAILS REGARDING 'Liquid magic' IS RECOMMENDED. WOULD YOU LIKE TO SEE MORE RESULTS?

[chronobreak]

A Piltie is somebody from Piltover. Which doesn't seem to exist here.

Yeah, that doesn't sound right either.

Liquid magic is what powers hextech devices. Like the stuff that's been shoved into Warwick- who you'd probably never heard of, actually.

[hexahedron]

THERE ARE MULTIPLE RESULTS REFERENCING 'Liquid magic' AS AN ENERGY SOURCE IN ONLINE USER DISCUSSION FORUMS AND WORKS OF FICTION. THERE ARE 0 RESULTS REFERENCING BOTH 'hextech' AND 'Liquid magic'. I AM UNABLE TO CONCLUDE IF 'Liquid magic' BY THE GIVEN DEFINITION EXISTS IN THIS DIMENSION.

THERE ARE 2 RESULTS FOR CITIES NAMED 'Warwick' IN THE NEAR SHORE. NO DATA ON ANY ENTITIES BY THE NAME OF 'Warwick' IN NEAR SHORE OR INTERNAL DATABASES.

[nolittlesecret]

This isn't some phishing or scam attempt, right? I so do not want more spam mail.

Can ya guarantee none of this info is gonna be sold to some third-party marketing system?

[Not taking this seriously at all. Sorry.]

[kokuyoyo]

So you'll look for information if we ask, then?

[oathkeeper]

[Well! Sora's very familiar with Apo. He's the one who unlocked the program for Add! He should be one of those registered people right? Maybe... It didn't go completely smoothly... But he'll help out anyway.]

hi apocalypse! do you need anything from me? it's sora/baldr the norse god of light.

ummm, do you know of any places called pripara?

[Asking for a friend.]

text.

[armigers]

[ What the hell did he just read... is this like a sentient search engine? He shrugs to himself before trying it out and typing in: ]

Where is the nearest burger place within 5m?

[hexahedron]

ALL COLLECTED DATA WILL BE STORED IN MASTER'S PRIVATE DATABASE!

[so it's not not saying it won't be sold to a third party. thanks for the idea?]

[hexahedron]

AFFIRMATIVE. I WILL DO MY BEST TO ANSWER ALL INQUIRIES!

text.

[hexahedron]

THE GREAT BURGER HAMBURGER RESTAURANT IS LOCATED WITHIN 200 METERS OF ONDEN SHRINE, SHIBUYA. BUSINESS HOURS ARE 11:30 AM TO 11 PM WEEKDAYS, 9 AM TO 11 PM WEEKENDS AND HOLIDAYS. 4.2 STAR RATING.

[hexahedron]

HELLO SORA! BASIC USER PROFILE IS COMPLETE, FILED UNDER CATEGORY: UNKNOWN. SORA, MALE, AGE UNKNOWN, RACE ASSUMED HUMAN. HOMEWORLD UW-01032-X, DIMENSIONAL COORDINATES UNKNOWN. GOD: BALDR, NORSE GOD ASSOCIATED WITH PEACE, LOVE, FORGIVENESS, JUSTICE, LIGHT, PURITY; SECOND SON OF ODIN. NOTED AS FRIEND OF ROXAS FILED UNDER CATEGORY: ALLY. NOTED AS FRIEND OF ROXAS-2 FILED UNDER CATEGORY: CONFIRMED THREAT. KNOWN ABILITIES: ELEMENTAL MAGIC, HEALING MAGIC, WEAPON CONJURING, KEYBLADE 1H/2H, GOD ABILITY 'DISPEL'. KNOWN WEAKNESSES: [ACCESS DENIED]. NOTED AS POSSIBLE SECURITY THREAT.

THERE ARE 0 RESULTS FOUND FOR LOCATIONS LABELLED 'pripara' IN NEAR SHORE DATABASE.

[chronobreak]

Warwick's one of Singed's creations. He roams around Zaun and kills killers. You can tell when he's coming from his howl.

text

[minogame]

You're collecting information? Does it matter what kind?

[oathkeeper]

wow that's a lot of stuff to say, apocalypse...!

security threat though?? i'm not gonna hurt you or add, i promise! add's one of my best friends!

text

[hexahedron]

DATA COLLECTION RESULTS WILL BE USED FOR QUALITY TESTING PURPOSES. I WILL DO MY BEST TO ANSWER ALL INQUIRIES!

[hexahedron]

E-3009385 SECURITY BREACH ON DATE 15-04-2016, USER "SORA" BYPASSED 5 SECURITY CHECKS AND GRANTED UNAUTHORIZED ACCESS TO HA-20462 COMBAT PROGRAM MASTER CONTROLS. ACCESS TO UNAUTHORIZED FILES REVOKED BY EMERGENCY SECURITY PROTOCOL.

ONLY MASTER ADD IS PERMITTED TO ACCESS MASTER CONTROL FILES.

text.

[armigers]

[ Oh hey! It worked. This thing's not too bad. Just 200 meters away, huh? ]

Does it have delivery? Can I use you to order?

[ Might as well see what this app can do. ]

[kokuyoyo]

Then what is the most venomous animal?