HEAVENS BBS | TEXT

[birdstheword]

Posted: May 12, 2016
From: Neith

Gatchaman Hajime here! Hello hello~! G'morning!!! ☀

I'm here with better news this time but I do have a question! BUT FIRST:

MESSY-CHAN IS HERE~! ₊·*◟(˶ᗒ ᗨ ᗕ˵)◜‧*✮

They're a super great friend from back home! Messy-chan just poofed here! But I think this place, being so new and different from back home may have made them nervous! Messy-chan was running all around the temple, knocking things over and sucking them up before I could get Messy-chan's attention and calm Messy-chan down. I donno where they went to from there so if anyone sees an super adorable floating glowy multi-colored cube floating about, lemme know ASAP! c(＞ v＜)ゞ

Messy-chan is just super nervous. Soooo has anyone seen this cute alien floating around?

Messydokidoki.jpg

Cute right? Messy-chan is pretty harmless too! So don't be scared. If Messy-chan is gobbling anything up its safe and sound and can be spit it right back out! I'll be out and about looking for Messy-chan! Bye bye!

[Though this alien Rubik's Cube may be going all around the Far Shore sucking up things. Anything smaller then a bus is fair game. That includes people too. So Hajime is sorry in advance!
Normally people wouldn't be able to see an alien like Messy but there's always something different about gods and shinki, so Hajime is willing to bet they can!]

Comments

[gentilitea]

[ DON'T DO THAT YOU'LL GET FRIENDSHIP ALL OVER HIM EW ]

What makes you think he would even approve? [ Guess who's trying very hard to skirt around calling Add any sort of formal godly honorific. ]
I for one would be reluctant to allow a creature called "Messy" right into Henir's temple!

[birdstheword]

[The first mistake was commenting on this post. The second was mentioning Apocalypse and Add. She's gotta befriend the WHOLE HOUSEHOLD.]

Because I know Add-kun! Add-kun was interested in meeting Messy-chan a while back! It'd be like a play date.

You've gotta be super shy! It's okay! Messy-chan and I don't bite. I look forward to meeitng you! It'll be fun~!

[gentilitea]

Now see here! I cannot permit such a blatant disregard for proper form within this household! [ Besides he really can't believe that Add is actually capable of making friends… ]
It would be extremely inappropriate!

[ A moment later—he's really grasping at straws here— ]

I cannot subject Apocalypse to such undue distress!!

[birdstheword]

[What is this guy.]

Apocalypse-nyan and Add-kun are friends. I won't stress either of them out! You're super protective! That's really sweet but you gotta loosen up! Shake it out!

I'm going to stop by soon so don't worry!

[gentilitea]

[ PROTECTIVE???? NOBODY'S ALLOWED TO KNOW HOW TSUN HE IS FOR ADD ]

I’ll have you know that I am merely keeping my utterly foolish master from embarrassing himself!

[ But that’s asking for a miracle…as is hoping that she might suddenly change her mind…fuck his life tbh… ]

[birdstheword]

Oh wow are you like, Add-kun's Super BF? He must be happy to have you at his back. Wow~

That's cute! You're cute! That's it! I gotta meet you sometime soon now! I wanna know Add-kun's BF!

Don't worry! He won't embarrass himself! He can't do that around me, we have too much fun.

[gentilitea]

This is absurd.

[ And he has come to the conclusion that she is probably insane, and moreover that he can’t fight her at all.

You know you’ve got him cornered when he can’t even protest to being called anyone’s friend… ]

[birdstheword]

You're cute Jakob-san <3

[gentilitea]

[ There's really no winning this smh… ]

Please don't call me that.

[birdstheword]

Awww but i really mean it! It's true!

[gentilitea]

[ But what if Add sees th—oh fuck it. ]

Regardless, as you are in effect his visitor I shall have to escort you inside the temple.

[ She’s really going to need some help getting around in there. Seriously. ]

I should hope that you can maintain proper decorum then.

[birdstheword]

So when I come by you'll meet up with me? That's sweet of you Jakob-san! So long as I can hold your hand!

Decorum?

[gentilitea]

[ But why would she even want to— ]

Yes, decorum.
By which I mean that you must observe proper etiquette in the meantime, and you will likewise be shown every courtesy the temple has to offer.
I will make sure of it.

[subtract]

Why wouldn't I approve? Hajime is always welcome at my temple, and the same courtesy extends to her alien assistant.

Of course, a good butler should be able to clean up any potential messes regardless. Or do you doubt your own abilities? I'm a bit disappointed, kekekekeke.

...Action tbh

[gentilitea]

[ Looking up from his phone— ]

Milord, I am right here! And I was not informed of such an audacious gathering—

Action

[subtract]

[and now Add is cackling out loud, too. Suffer, Jakob.]

Kekekekekekeke, and why would I disallow such a fascinating specimen? Of course she can visit. Is that a problem?

[gentilitea]

[ AS IF HAJIME WASN’T OVERWHELMING ENOUGH— ]

Only that we are hardly in a good position to receive visitors! And where do you intend to receive her, pray? I will need to clean it top to bottom and prepare refreshments for the Lady Neith’s arrival immediately.

[subtract]

Ah. I suppose that is a good point... [Although, he's more thinking about how they're supposed to receive her, what with how the temple seems to work. Add can bypass the illusions by teleporting straight in, but is that because he's a god or because he's Henir?]

... Hmm, well we won't learn anything unless we try it. If she has any difficulty getting inside, you can meet her at the door and lead her along until you find someplace decent. If we use one of the illusions then cleaning isn't really necessary.

[gentilitea]

[ Well isn’t that a load off his mind. He’ll just have to make an extra trip to the grocery later—especially if she’s staying for dinner—but that still doesn’t exactly solve the problem of those pesky illusions.

He’s not sure he wants to get stuck in one of them with Hajime in tow… ]

I suppose I can defend her should any danger arise, and… [ A deep deep sigh: ] We will need Apocalypse to navigate this time.

[subtract]

But if I let Apocalypse go with you then I won't be able to study the initial reactions! [It's honestly hard to tell if he's teasing or making a genuine complaint here.]

This task isn't too difficult for you, is it? You should be able to manage it on your own just fine. You can text me if you run into any trouble.

[gentilitea]

[ Jakob has no choice but to take his word for it anyway—he doesn’t get all this science-y shit and he doesn’t really want to rely too much on Apo-chan… ]

If I must. [ He finds that he’s telling that to Add a lot lately… There are only so many things he can refuse his own god, after all. ] I am merely concerned for her safety, should we find ourselves in a hostile illusion.

[ inb4 all of them are hostile ]

[subtract]

[Wow, that was easy. Has Jakob always been this much of a pushover? Hmmm...

But the point about possible dangers is a good one as well. Add frowns, contemplating this a little more seriously.]

None of them have been openly hostile so far... but the terrain can be a bit hazardous at times. I suppose that could be annoying, or it could delay my research if you take too long to find a spot.

Hrmm, fine. I guess I'll just have to come with you. Between Apocalypse and Dynamo, finding the doors will be a piece of cake.

[In case Jakob has been wondering about those six little hovering drones that have been tailing Add since he found them in his closet yesterday. He's probably using them as a chair right now... but rest assured, Dynamo is a very powerful set of tools!]

[gentilitea]

[ Only to his god, Add. Only to his god. ]

I would rather you remain safely where you are. [ Dynamos or no, it still feels like he’s the one who has to do the most legwork in keeping everybody safe, cube sons included. It’s hard enough getting used to just Add—when you also factor in his powers…

Dammit why can’t they have a less complicated temple to receive visitors in instead. ]

[subtract]

[Sorry, Jakob, he's interpreting that protectiveness as not thinking Add can take care of himself. Okay, so maybe he had to be rescued four times in the two months he's been here, but that doesn't count anymore now that he has his weapons again! He's totally capable of protecting himself!!

So he's going to do the mature thing and pout about it. He folds his arms huffily.] I don't need you to protect me in my own damn temple.

You know what? Fine, you can navigate the temple on your own! Feel free to beg for my guidance whenever you please. Perhaps I'll work on activating the defense systems in the meantime. Do let me know if any monsters appear successfully.

[He's only half serious, but it'd be pretty fun to force Jakob into asking Add for help...]

[gentilitea]

[ And Jakob, being the hotheaded moron that he is, completely falls for it: ]

You wouldn’t dare— [ It does say a lot that he’s willing to believe Add would do such a thing, even if some part of him doesn’t truly believe that Add is a bad person.

But they’re both pretty good at hiding their good intentions behind an asshole façade, aren’t they? ]

That would hardly give me much time to prepare your refreshments! To say nothing of the lady’s safety!