HEAVENS BBS | TEXT

[birdstheword]

Posted: May 12, 2016
From: Neith

Gatchaman Hajime here! Hello hello~! G'morning!!! ☀

I'm here with better news this time but I do have a question! BUT FIRST:

MESSY-CHAN IS HERE~! ₊·*◟(˶ᗒ ᗨ ᗕ˵)◜‧*✮

They're a super great friend from back home! Messy-chan just poofed here! But I think this place, being so new and different from back home may have made them nervous! Messy-chan was running all around the temple, knocking things over and sucking them up before I could get Messy-chan's attention and calm Messy-chan down. I donno where they went to from there so if anyone sees an super adorable floating glowy multi-colored cube floating about, lemme know ASAP! c(＞ v＜)ゞ

Messy-chan is just super nervous. Soooo has anyone seen this cute alien floating around?

Messydokidoki.jpg

Cute right? Messy-chan is pretty harmless too! So don't be scared. If Messy-chan is gobbling anything up its safe and sound and can be spit it right back out! I'll be out and about looking for Messy-chan! Bye bye!

[Though this alien Rubik's Cube may be going all around the Far Shore sucking up things. Anything smaller then a bus is fair game. That includes people too. So Hajime is sorry in advance!
Normally people wouldn't be able to see an alien like Messy but there's always something different about gods and shinki, so Hajime is willing to bet they can!]

Comments

[gentilitea]

[ AS IF HAJIME WASN’T OVERWHELMING ENOUGH— ]

Only that we are hardly in a good position to receive visitors! And where do you intend to receive her, pray? I will need to clean it top to bottom and prepare refreshments for the Lady Neith’s arrival immediately.

[subtract]

Ah. I suppose that is a good point... [Although, he's more thinking about how they're supposed to receive her, what with how the temple seems to work. Add can bypass the illusions by teleporting straight in, but is that because he's a god or because he's Henir?]

... Hmm, well we won't learn anything unless we try it. If she has any difficulty getting inside, you can meet her at the door and lead her along until you find someplace decent. If we use one of the illusions then cleaning isn't really necessary.

[gentilitea]

[ Well isn’t that a load off his mind. He’ll just have to make an extra trip to the grocery later—especially if she’s staying for dinner—but that still doesn’t exactly solve the problem of those pesky illusions.

He’s not sure he wants to get stuck in one of them with Hajime in tow… ]

I suppose I can defend her should any danger arise, and… [ A deep deep sigh: ] We will need Apocalypse to navigate this time.

[subtract]

But if I let Apocalypse go with you then I won't be able to study the initial reactions! [It's honestly hard to tell if he's teasing or making a genuine complaint here.]

This task isn't too difficult for you, is it? You should be able to manage it on your own just fine. You can text me if you run into any trouble.

[gentilitea]

[ Jakob has no choice but to take his word for it anyway—he doesn’t get all this science-y shit and he doesn’t really want to rely too much on Apo-chan… ]

If I must. [ He finds that he’s telling that to Add a lot lately… There are only so many things he can refuse his own god, after all. ] I am merely concerned for her safety, should we find ourselves in a hostile illusion.

[ inb4 all of them are hostile ]

[subtract]

[Wow, that was easy. Has Jakob always been this much of a pushover? Hmmm...

But the point about possible dangers is a good one as well. Add frowns, contemplating this a little more seriously.]

None of them have been openly hostile so far... but the terrain can be a bit hazardous at times. I suppose that could be annoying, or it could delay my research if you take too long to find a spot.

Hrmm, fine. I guess I'll just have to come with you. Between Apocalypse and Dynamo, finding the doors will be a piece of cake.

[In case Jakob has been wondering about those six little hovering drones that have been tailing Add since he found them in his closet yesterday. He's probably using them as a chair right now... but rest assured, Dynamo is a very powerful set of tools!]

[gentilitea]

[ Only to his god, Add. Only to his god. ]

I would rather you remain safely where you are. [ Dynamos or no, it still feels like he’s the one who has to do the most legwork in keeping everybody safe, cube sons included. It’s hard enough getting used to just Add—when you also factor in his powers…

Dammit why can’t they have a less complicated temple to receive visitors in instead. ]

[subtract]

[Sorry, Jakob, he's interpreting that protectiveness as not thinking Add can take care of himself. Okay, so maybe he had to be rescued four times in the two months he's been here, but that doesn't count anymore now that he has his weapons again! He's totally capable of protecting himself!!

So he's going to do the mature thing and pout about it. He folds his arms huffily.] I don't need you to protect me in my own damn temple.

You know what? Fine, you can navigate the temple on your own! Feel free to beg for my guidance whenever you please. Perhaps I'll work on activating the defense systems in the meantime. Do let me know if any monsters appear successfully.

[He's only half serious, but it'd be pretty fun to force Jakob into asking Add for help...]

[gentilitea]

[ And Jakob, being the hotheaded moron that he is, completely falls for it: ]

You wouldn’t dare— [ It does say a lot that he’s willing to believe Add would do such a thing, even if some part of him doesn’t truly believe that Add is a bad person.

But they’re both pretty good at hiding their good intentions behind an asshole façade, aren’t they? ]

That would hardly give me much time to prepare your refreshments! To say nothing of the lady’s safety!

[subtract]

[Well, it's not like he wouldn't try to pull something like that if he could get away with it... it's fine as long as he's watching to make sure no one gets hurt, right? It's all in good fun!

Fun for Add, anyway. Not so much for Jakob.

He grins wryly, leaning back comfortably in his makeshift hover-chair.]

Do you really need that much time to prepare? You should be ready for these types of things in advance. Ah, maybe I'll time your trip through the temple as well. If you can't keep it under at least fifteen minutes I'll be disappointed.

[gentilitea]

T—Time me? [ Of all the arrogant—clearly Add has no idea how much time and work is being put into keeping his meals and lodgings nice and warm and fresh. And to have to take the trouble to impress their visitor too…

With a click of his tongue— ] Do as you will, then. [ Add is certainly well within his rights to, as his god. Even Jakob can’t really argue with that. ]

I will have her safely in your presence in under fifteen minutes, if that is what you truly desire. [ And that’s the only way he can frame this unpleasantness in order to make it a little less unpleasant from his perspective. ]

[subtract]

[... Seriously, Jakob? This is almost too easy. It's going to be really hard to get used to Jakob being so... servile.

Of course, this means he absolutely has to time him now. This is a scientific experiment to determine what lengths Jakob is willing to go through in order to follow Add's commands.]

Hmm.... alright.

And if you can't adhere to the time limit, you have to sleep outside tonight.

[gentilitea]

Outside?! [ WOW, just because he doesn’t sleep as often as other people do!! What if he goes and sleeps over at Roxas’s temple? Or just pull an all-nighter doing some gardening because it’s not as if he’s never done it before? ]

Must you subject me to every indignity—

[subtract]

[He's kidding!! Mostly kidding. Well, he wants to see if Jakob would actually go through with it, but he'd probably feel bad if he actually did end up trying to sleep outside...]

Oh? So you really think you'll fail? If my shinki can't even navigate my own temple, that's quite an issue... how can I be sure I can rely on you? Perhaps you're not cut out to work with me after all. [he's definitely still kidding but he might be having a little too much fun with Jakob]

[gentilitea]

[ Kidding is for guys who don’t have butlers forced to take everything you say seriously. As it stands, he is quite at his mortal limit: ]

Ten minutes.

[subtract]

... Ten minutes? Very well, then. Make it under ten minutes.

[Jakob is now trolling himself thanks to Add's efforts. This is truly his greatest accomplishment thus far... though he's finally starting to get the impression that Jakob is taking this 100% seriously. He dials his shit-eating grin down a couple notches.]

You know, that would be quite an accomplishment. If you actually manage to pull that off, I'll be impressed. Although the likelihood of that occurring is quite low...

[gentilitea]

What sort of shinki would I be if I could not accomplish such a simple task?

[ Except it’s not simple, and escorting a bubbly kid and her pet cube is bound to complicate things. And Jakob isn’t even sure that he understands the full range of Add’s powers over his temple.

These are trying times indeed. ]