Text; i don't even know

[oathkeeper]

Posted: 17 April 16:00
From: Roxas & Sora
--------

Attention! This is Roxas.(dkhdgdgf and SORA here too) I’m getting really tired of people asking me if I’m Sora’s brother or other relative. HE. IS. NOT. MY. BROTHER! There’s nothing there family wise! I just happen to look like him, but that’s it.

YEP we hardly even look alike too so I don’t know why you guys are always saying that! we have completely different hair color too! no cousins or distant relatives or anything either. so don’t say weird things please! (roxas gets really mad lol) (DO NOT)

And there’s nothing else going on either! It’s way too complicated to explain and I don’t wanna explain it again. Sora can do that because people keep getting the wrong idea from me. STOP THINKING WEIRD THINGS, PIPPA.

see, mad lol. UHHH roxas is a piece of my heart but he’s totally a separate person from me! he’s 1000000000% his own person. being related is silly. we’re just friends. (Don’t listen to Pippa she’s wrong. She’s Aphrodite, so don’t listen to her!)WHAT IS PIPPA EVEN SAYING

I’M NOT TELLING YOUWELL I DONT KNOW WHAT AND I’M NOT SAYING WHAT SHE SAID SO STOP ITFKd;gjDLFGKPEOPLE ARENT GONNA KNOW WHAT YOURE TALKING ABOUT I DONT EVEN KNOW I DON’T WANT THEM KNOWING SO STOP I’M NOT TALKING TO YOU ANYMORdLKGDFJOOOOWE WERE SUPPOSE TO MAKE THIS POST SO PEOPLE GET ITeFKENERLFKVNXC,B MH AND YOU MADE IT WEIRDWHAT HOW DID I MAKE IT WEIRD YOU KEEP TALKING ABOUT WHAT PIPPA SAID AND I SAID IM NOT TALKING ABHUT IY EKJBFAS CI’M GOINGHOME!

welp. good enough. posting this like it is because roxas got mad.


[ooc: Feel free to specify which one of them you want to talk to. Or either. Or both. Have fun with it.]

Comments

[missingache]

I've only got one! I'm not that Roxas!

[gentilitea]

[ There's a bit of a contemplative pause on the other end, before: ]

Would I happen to be addressing the eminent person of the god Chang'e?

[missingache]

No. This is Artemis.

[gentilitea]

To think there would be more than one person bearing that illustrious name…

[oathkeeper]

[Drive-by Sora comment coming through]

you can say sorry for saying I was slandering chang'e-roxas anytime! i wasn't slandering either of them for the record!

[gentilitea]

I find that hard to believe.
If you had been referring to my master, I would have been forced to take swift retribution.
I might still be considering it, in fact.

[oathkeeper]

how was i even slandering....?

change'e-roxas is one of my best friends i would never say mean things about him!

[gentilitea]

Your intentions may be pure, but the execution is absolutely sloppy.
Appearances are important to a god, after all. It is a vital way of commanding the respect of your followers!
Hence, you must realize that my Lord Roxas has a rather menacing image to cultivate. As his butler, I must ensure that my liege will not be taken lightly.

[ Forgive him, he…sort of lives in his own little world, which is full of etiquette and way too many spoons on the same damn table. ]

[oathkeeper]

[Sora doesn't understand why he's getting a lecture for trying to help!]

i get that you're protective of roxas, but even if this post was about him, i still didn't say anything mean. both of them are important to me and i don't take either of them "lightly"! it's not my fault Artemis-Roxas got mad and we capslocked

[Gosh, and he thought Add was grouchy!]

[gentilitea]

[ Sora is too pure for him tbh ]

Hmph. Very well.
I will accept this as merely a foolish breach of etiquette on your part, and will not take action against you.

[ At least Add has some rudimentary grasp on what friendship entails… ]

[oathkeeper]

[He'll take that as...sort of....an apology? Kind of not really?]

that's great?

sooo. you're roxas' new shinki then, what's your name?

[missingache]

He's a copy of me. That's why he looks like me and has my name.

I'm not his brother either!

[gentilitea]

I see. [ He doesn't get it. ]
Then I deeply apologize for my indiscretion, er…

[ Oh, fuck it. Brothers or no, they're practically related anyway… ]

Milord.

[missingache]

[.... He'll take it.]

It's fine. You're a lot nicer about it than Add was.

So what's your name?

[gentilitea]

But of course. [ Fuck Add, tbh. ]
You may call me Jakob, milord.
I am at your service. You are after all still the relation of my good master.

[missingache]

Service? You sound like a butler or a maid.

[gentilitea]

How astute, milord.
Being a butler is my life's calling. And my afterlife's as well, of course.

[missingache]

So you like being a butler?

[subtract]

He accuses Sora of slander but I'm the less nice one?

[EXCUSE]

[missingache]

You weren't exactly nice to me when we first met!

[subtract]

I thought you were the other Roxas, so from my perspective you were the one being rude to me. I was just responding appropriately to my god suddenly deciding to disown me.

[Not that he ever apologized after the confusion was sorted out...]

[missingache]

I wasn't being rude! You were! I told you I wasn't the right guy!

[gentilitea]

Hush, Add.
Even this Lord Roxas possesses the sound judgment of our esteemed master.
You mustn't trouble him with such queries.

[subtract]

Don't tell me to hush.

You know you're not going to get anything out of sucking up to this one too, right? Embarrassing. Show a little self-respect.

[gentilitea]

Oh, how amusing.
I needn't be tutored in matters of dignity by one such as you.