Text; i don't even know

[oathkeeper]

Posted: 17 April 16:00
From: Roxas & Sora
--------

Attention! This is Roxas.(dkhdgdgf and SORA here too) I’m getting really tired of people asking me if I’m Sora’s brother or other relative. HE. IS. NOT. MY. BROTHER! There’s nothing there family wise! I just happen to look like him, but that’s it.

YEP we hardly even look alike too so I don’t know why you guys are always saying that! we have completely different hair color too! no cousins or distant relatives or anything either. so don’t say weird things please! (roxas gets really mad lol) (DO NOT)

And there’s nothing else going on either! It’s way too complicated to explain and I don’t wanna explain it again. Sora can do that because people keep getting the wrong idea from me. STOP THINKING WEIRD THINGS, PIPPA.

see, mad lol. UHHH roxas is a piece of my heart but he’s totally a separate person from me! he’s 1000000000% his own person. being related is silly. we’re just friends. (Don’t listen to Pippa she’s wrong. She’s Aphrodite, so don’t listen to her!)WHAT IS PIPPA EVEN SAYING

I’M NOT TELLING YOUWELL I DONT KNOW WHAT AND I’M NOT SAYING WHAT SHE SAID SO STOP ITFKd;gjDLFGKPEOPLE ARENT GONNA KNOW WHAT YOURE TALKING ABOUT I DONT EVEN KNOW I DON’T WANT THEM KNOWING SO STOP I’M NOT TALKING TO YOU ANYMORdLKGDFJOOOOWE WERE SUPPOSE TO MAKE THIS POST SO PEOPLE GET ITeFKENERLFKVNXC,B MH AND YOU MADE IT WEIRDWHAT HOW DID I MAKE IT WEIRD YOU KEEP TALKING ABOUT WHAT PIPPA SAID AND I SAID IM NOT TALKING ABHUT IY EKJBFAS CI’M GOINGHOME!

welp. good enough. posting this like it is because roxas got mad.


[ooc: Feel free to specify which one of them you want to talk to. Or either. Or both. Have fun with it.]

Comments

[gentilitea]

Unbelievable.
Of course you would never take the honor of your duties seriously.
It's a wonder that Lord Roxas would deign to keep YOU around in the first place.

[subtract]

A soft-hearted god just means less work for me, so I don't mind. [... maybe he minds a little. But instead of admitting he feels useless, or that he's worried Roxas only keeps him around out of duty and doesn't actually like him, he'd rather just deny the existence of any and all problems. Everything is fine!!!]

Besides, I can provide unique services that no other shinki can. My skill with machines is unparalleled. What are you good for? Anyone can be a butler, it's just a silly title given to the lowliest of servants to make them feel more important.

[gentilitea]

[ And Jakob would have been considerably more sympathetic had he known about all of Add’s insecurities—but what is not being an ignorant raging asshole tbh

And it really doesn’t help that Add keeps poking at his own insecurities like that— ]

I could not possibly expect you to understand. True service means pouring your very heart and soul into your master’s well-being.
There is neither warmth nor affection in those soulless automatons you create!

[ Sorry Apo-chan, he doesn’t mean it…! ]

[subtract]

["but what is not being an ignorant raging asshole tbh" — wise words to live by]

Apocalypse's holographic body generates a substantial amount of heat, and its AI is programmed to answer my every command as well as simulate the affectionate nature of a cat. How is that not warmth and affection, hmm?

[...he might be serious. feelings are hard, okay?]

[ 1/2 ]

[gentilitea]

[ He can understand the gist of that technobabble well enough to, well…does Add have security cameras installed anywhere? Because this would be a good time to catch Jakob’s dumbfounded expression.

As it stands, he’ll have to be satisfied with Jakob not replying for a few long seconds, before… ]

[ 2/2 ]

[gentilitea]

How is having yet another cat within temple grounds even necessary?

[ THIS IS IMPORTANT. WHY ARE YOU ALL CAT LOVERS. STOP IT. ]

[subtract]

[No security cameras (yet), so Jakob's priceless expression shall remain unseen.]

Why wouldn't it be? Two cats are better than one, and Apocalypse doesn't even shed. I see no drawbacks.

[gentilitea]

Hmph. Very well, I will concede this point.

[ Sore loser, tbh. But no, he does admit, a cat doesn't shed is remarkably wonderful to have around.

Not that he'll admit to it, but you know. ]

But know this, Add: I will not lose to your other infernal devices!

[subtract]

Aha, so you admit to losing to Apocalypse? At least you know your place, kekekeke. Very well, in that case I will also admit you're marginally more useful than a small robotic vacuum, even if you require far more maintenance.

That may change after I've finished some more of its upgrades, of course.

[gentilitea]

Your barbs will have no further effect on me. [ Lies. ]
Now, if you'll excuse me, I have my lord and master to attend to.

[ Ergo, he'll stop replying, but just to be a dick, he sends this as an afterthought: ]

:)

[ Pray he will never learn to unleash the full potential of his passive-aggression on hapless emojis in webspace. ]