Heaven's BBS | Text | Why

[deference]

From: William T. Spears
Posted: June 19th

Why is the Internet like this?
I am highly disappointed in it.
Surely there is more to it than this.

Everyone can be much better than this.
Much, much better.
Honestly.

And whoever told my god about these cellphones, I would like a word.
Many of them.

Grell Sutcliffe.
I am publicly shaming you for your behavior so that you will cease.
Please stop sending me SO MANY messages.
And no, I do not like any of the emoji.
None of them.
Not one of them.

Comments

[untodeath]

You worry too much, Will! If anything, it could provide useful for keeping in touch with them. We've much to catch up on, if we're to meet their expectations!

Besides, have you seen how easy it is to shop on this thing? It's magnificent!

[deference]

We can meet their expectations when we answer their prayers.
There is no reason to get text and communication and cat images into this.

... do not spend all our money on whatever you're buying.
There is still groceries that we have to get.

[untodeath]

It's about appealing to a new generation! If the cats don't do it for you, perhaps birds will?



I haven't purchased anything! Yet.

[deference]

Is something wrong with that bird?

[2/2]

[deference]

Yet.

[untodeath]

It's been turned off, clearly!

Yet! There's quite a bit to choose from, you know! Additionally, a credit card is required, anyway, and we've yet to acquire one of those. Absolutely something that we must look into!

[deference]

... it's dead?

I don't know how I feel about any of this.
No, I know.
Negatively.
I feel negatively.

[untodeath]

Yes. Yes, it is!

As previously stated, you worry too much. These things are essential for catching up with the times!

[deference]

Pity.

The times are awful.
With their "lol" and emoji.

[untodeath]

We'll keep trying at this humor thing, darling.

But, oh, I think you will come around! At the very least, you must admit that modern technology have alleviated many nuances of our time. Aside from instant messaging, and vast amounts of knowledge, media, and resources at our fingertips, I'm quite a fan of plumbing. Instant baths!

[deference]

If we must.

That's right. I suppose those things are nice. A nice instant bath to rest in after a long day is acceptable. It means that I can go to rest sooner and work better tomorrow.

[untodeath]

We must!

There, you see? Though, now my mind is filled with images of a handsome William in the water! Ah, I bet your hair is darling all wet and messy. ♥♥♥

[deference]

It's just hair, Grell Sutcliffe.

[untodeath]

Just hair? Oh, Will!

Your hair is always properly kempt, but it's so much more fun to run one's hands through unstyled locks. Easier to wrap around the fingers, and so much more satisfying to tug! 💓

But would you prefer that I think about your body instead?

[deference]

No emoji.
Water tends to make hair unkempt.
There isn't much to tug.
It's rather short.
I don't see the excitement.

And my body gets me from A to B.

[untodeath]

I can't help myself, you know! ❤️❤️❤️

Truly, there's enough. If you don't believe me, we could always put it to the test!

And, darling, I'd take your body all the way to E.

[deference]

And then there were more.
Put it to the test?
You mean look at my hair wet?

... E?

[untodeath]

Come now, William. You're smarter than that!

"Empty." But first, Ecstasy, and then, Exhaust.

[deference]

...
Stay where you are.
I'm going to hit you.
With whatever I can find on my way over to where you are.

[untodeath]

If you insist! I'll take the opportunity to change into something for comfortable for you!

[deference]

[ Gone and up out of his chair!

And pausing to look at that message. Why does she have to get something more comfortable on to get hit? Sigh! SIGH! ]

action!

[untodeath]

[ Well, when he does make it as far as her room, Grell will open the door before he has a chance to reach for the handle! There, she will step out to lean against its frame, arching her back to drape an arm over her head. ]

You've finally come to hit me, Will? Please, don't go easy on me♥.

[ It would also be worth mentioning that she's wearing this - and determining by the bare decolletage, it's questionable as to what's underneath. ]

[deference]

Yes. I did.

[ A long pause as he stares at what she is wearing. There is a pause as he makes a bemused expression as he gestures briefly as to what she's wearing -- with the book that he has in his hand. ]

You will behave yourself with few of those hearts and cease [ The book is up in the air before is swinging down to hit her on top of the head. ] with the nonsense.

[untodeath]

[ Yes, William, take a good look! Take it aaaall in. Batting her lashes, she will cutely brush that raised hand down the side of her head and behind her neck, rolling her shoulders forward.

Of course, that complacent attitude meets an abrupt end with the onslaught - and she flinches less than gracefully! ]

A-ah-- [ Looking up over her glasses with a pout, she rubs at the new sore. ] I suppose I could mind those few hearts, by giving you just one.

[ If she can manage it, she'll take his free hand to place over her chest - maybe even slipping it under the sheer fabric of her robe, to press over her heart. ]

I assure you, there's no nonsense here.

[deference]

[ He growls something under his breath as he feels his eyes narrowing in annoyance. With his free hand, he points his index finger in her face as he raises the book once more -- attempting to punctuate each and every one of his sentences with a swift bop on the head. ]

That is no way to treat your shinki. [ Eight hits, if he is lucky. Lifting the book up, he throws it to chuck it at the wall. To further his point by having the book violently slam against the surface. ]

We are not some lovers in a lover's den, Grell Sutcliffe! There is work and prayers and business to be done!