Heaven's BBS | Text

[deniles]

Posted: 22 April 2016
From: Anonymous

Are you bored?

Me too. Let's have some fun.

I'd like to say I'm somewhat of a relationship expert, so I'd like to answer all your relationship problems.

Why? Boredom mostly. I'm giving you guys a gift so don't waste it.

Well. Send them in. And if you need a name, call me Relationship Guru.

[ooc: Niles will be giving intentionally bad advice because he's still an asshole at heart, so just keep that in mind!]

Comments

[deniles]

Excuse me, who's the relationship expert here?

[lighthousekeeper]

Some credentials are needed to become an expert.

Besides have you even spoken with the higher ups?

[deniles]

I have had plenty of relationships and I know what is required.

Do you? Of course not, that's why you asked.

[lighthousekeeper]

Saying you've been in several doesn't give information about the quality of each.

[deniles]

My relationships have been many different qualities.

Also you're not asking a question that would require anything related to the qualities of my relationships.

[lighthousekeeper]

Never mind then.

You shouldn't give people bad advice to make them embarrass themselves.

[deniles]

My advice is 100% solid. Sorry you decided not to believe me.

[lighthousekeeper]

No way! You're going to get someone hurt if they do believe you. That's not nice at all.

[deniles]

Isn't love pain anyways?

[lighthousekeeper]

Not that kind of pain! That's more like death instead of just painful feelings!

Besides you could say that about all relationships. If you get in a fight with someone or they say something that makes you cry. There's some unhappy times, but being in a relationship should be mostly happy. Or it's just going to fall apart.

[Read some romance novels, yo.]

[deniles]

Ah, so you can define the pain you get from relationships? Interesting.

Very interesting.

[lighthousekeeper]

Isn't that just normal?

DO YOU NOT KNOW HOW TO FEEL THINGS?! That's horrible. I hope it's not that.

[deniles]

It's not normal. Sorry to say, but your definition of relationship pain is completely and utterly wrong.

[lighthousekeeper]

Then what's your definition?

[deniles]

Ah, nope, you've rejected all my advice, you don't get to know.

[lighthousekeeper]

Fair enough.

[deniles]

And enjoy your failures for not listening to me.

[Ending communication here]

[lighthousekeeper]

[Wow rude. But back to building robots!

Although she's starting to guess that the post itself is one big prank since the anon's logic made no sense.]