the pet shaming continues - bbs

[kokuyoyo]

From: Chikusa Kakimoto
Date: April 5

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[Some days after the raid on the cultist compound and...]

my boyfriend is stupid

[And with that, Chikusa links a video of Ken making a very impressive leap in quick reaction to a paintball! ...which he catches with his mouth. The video stays on him for a few seconds later, with all the coughing, spitting, and rolling that goes with it.]

[One of these days a pet shaming sign is going to be put on that dog.]

[But that's not all! Because while he's pet shaming...]

my cats are also dumb

[There's another link to a different video. This one is in broad daylight, focused on one o the streets which goes through the illustrious Central District. Staying steady, the camera focuses on... a giant catfish of frankly monstrous proportions, larger than some people. Surrounding it is an absolute small army of nekomata. Those that are directly in contact with the fish are doing their very best to drag the fish along with their teeth, jaws locked into the flesh of the beast. Others around them seem to be slowly following along, concentrating intently. While it might be difficult to see on video, the cats are using a combined telekinetic effort to make the drag a little easier. Every now and then, the fish suddenly jerks and thrashes wildly, sending the cats scattering all over. They always come back, however, determined not to abandon their catch.]

[When they finally come near enough to the front of Temple Lie Tieguai, Chikusa's voice finally speaks up from behind the camera.]

I'm not preparing all of this...

[A dozen tiny cat voices rise up in protest, and the video cuts off.]

Comments

[kokuyoyo]

[What, didn't Chikusa just say it's because he's dumb?]

river

[...Chikusa that isn't helpful]

[unlucky7]

I'm fascinated and shocked by the size of it.

Did you put it back or end up cooking it?

[kokuyoyo]

they refuse to put it back and i'm not carrying it

[fuck that]

they say there's more where this came from

1/2

[unlucky7]

I might be able to take it off your hands? Let me check.

2/2

[unlucky7]

[A few minutes later.]

Yeah, I'll take it off your hands if you really don't want it.

[kokuyoyo]

well it's here whenever

[He might even answer the door when she comes by.]

[unlucky7]

Great, thanks.

[The nice thing about living and working in a well-equipped temple with some pretty broad domains? No one questions it when you need to suddenly borrow a flatbed cart and a van. She leaves the van parked outside of Hakkai's temple and pulls the cart behind her as she approaches the temple.

Chikusa might be willing to part with the fish, but huh, that's a lot of nekomata watching her and following. Hello...?]

[kokuyoyo]

[There are a frankly worrying amount of nekomata hanging around, watching, following. Hakkai's temple has, by complete accident, become a kind of casual nekomata hangout, admittedly. Mostly it's just Pookie and a couple of "family members", so it's not that bad. However, sometimes, well... ]

[They're all fairly proud of their catch, too. Ginia might be able to pick up on some grumbling and whispered plots. Hopefully none of those plots will have to be put into use- one of the nekomata is already trying to telekinetically undo her shoelaces- because Chikusa peers out from the front door.]

...A couple of other people look interested in the fish. For some reason.

[unlucky7]

[If there's anything Ginia is leery about, it's getting on the bad side of spirits. Cat spirits especially. It's a big catfish, they can compromise, right?]

Fresh fish is hard to resist.

[She signs slowly, glancing at the nekomata again. Maybe it's better sticking to her phone to keep them in the loop.]

There's plenty to go around. I can bring some back for the cats and deliver some fillets elsewhere.

[kokuyoyo]

[Chikusa doesn't even get a chance to answer before dozens of cat voices rise up in a resounding YES!!!]

[He blinks blearily, as if waking up from a loud noise.]

...It would probably make them stop guarding it so much, I guess. But how much fillet could you make out of this thing...

[unlucky7]

[A lot of fillets. Which is perfect considering how many people are at Ebisu's temple. And all the people that also want a cut, nekomata included.]

I could bring back the organs or anything else that won't be used too. Maybe fish stock too if you want some for cooking.

[kokuyoyo]

[More cat yelling. Chikusa looks as if he wants to descend into the earth right where he stands.]

Yeah. Sure. How are you going to carry this even...

[The cats had numbers and psychic powers on their side, after all.]

[unlucky7]

[Ginia gestures at the flatbed cart resting some feet away.]

I have a truck waiting outside the temple to carry it the rest of the way.

[Sheer strength is also not to be underestimated.]

[kokuyoyo]

I see.

[Well, that sure will help in this department. Chikusa nods his head to the side.]

...I made them put it in the garden... in the shade. Because I didn't want it in the house.

[It would give Ken ideas. And the other non-talking animals ideas. And the talking animals ideas in that he might actually start preparing it.]

[unlucky7]

I'll get it out of your way then.

[She glances at the nekomata, a few still glaring daggers at her.]

And I promise to bring back some organs and fillets.

[Time to get the cart and get this catfish out of everyone's way. As she wheels the cart toward the garden, a question she should have asked earlier occurs to her.

Is the fish still alive?]

[kokuyoyo]

[So, the fish might still be alive.]

[As it turns out, moist enough ground in the shade is apparently just cool enough for a catfish to keep going, and apparently that's doubly true if it's some sort of giant monster catfish. Some of the nekomata have taken to still hanging around it, eyeing it warily even as it stays in place not doing anything for the moment.]

[That might change when Ginia tries to touch it.]

[Chikusa hangs back, just blinking dully at the creature.]

...They should have caught this when Hakkai was awake...

[Hakkai would be all about preparing a giant fucking fish.]

[unlucky7]

[Oh. Oh, that's a living catfish. Ginia jerks back as it lashes and wiggles on the ground. This... this is a problem.

Does she need to kill it and transport it? Transport it alive? She has a knife on her so it's not like she can't kill it and cut it.]

One moment. I need to check something.

[After her message plays, Ginia begins texting quickly. Hey, Kimi, don't mind the following text message coming in: Should I kill the catfish or bring it in alive help?]

1/2 when you play two different characters that are relevant

[kokuyoyo]

Sure... Take your time.

[Chikusa will just sink onto the grass, allowing the many nekomata to gravitate towards him. Excuse him while he just... becomes a living cat tree, Ginia. Some of them are indeed interrogating him about what's going to happen, since they're all very invested in this fish, but the others just... seem content to be around and on him.]

[Chikusa doesn't fight this. He seems used to it.]

2/2

[chibisu]

[Meanwhile, Kimi responds fairly quickly. Hey, it's from his girlfriend and involves food, it's kind of his job, right?]

Fresh is usually for the best but do you have the tools for that?

[unlucky7]

[His state as a living cat tree would be a source of harmless envy were Ginia not wrapped up in a catfish conundrum.]

Short of putting it back in the river and hauling it out myself this fish cannot get any fresher.
I borrowed a truck and a flatbed cart.
I have my knife too.

[chibisu]

well it's better to keep it moist you know?
But hold on while I ask Kiwi something! ( ु⁎ᴗ_ᴗ⁎)ु.｡oO

[Fortunately, with the system that the temple has set up, it doesn't take long for him to get back with another answer.]

He says that if you don't have a tub to put it in, it should survive long enough in a drive back! (｡•̀ᴗ-)✧

[unlucky7]

[The catfish doesn't need a tub, it needs its own swimming pool. Okay. This is workable.]

Thanks!
Get the kitchen ready for catfish. (๑•̀ㅂ•́)و✧

[Ginia eyes the settled catfish again and then to the prone shinki cat tree, addressing him and the gathered nekomata through her phone.]

I'll get the fish transported. Are any of the nekomata willing to help?

[kokuyoyo]

[Oh, they're getting back to this. Chikusa blinks out of how he'd been spacing out, and looks to the various cats.]

...If you help her, she'll bring back fish for everyone.

[Well, that sure gets their attention, and the cats on him shamelessly leap off to gather more curiously near Ginia. "Of what particular assistance do you require?"]

[unlucky7]

[Bribery is the best motivator. With her 'cat-tive' audience, Ginia addresses them with her next message.]

I can do all the heavy lifting, but can you help keep it steady?

[She's figured the cats have some kind of telekinesis or similar ability. Don't think she didn't notice her laces trying to unravel.]

[kokuyoyo]

[The nekomata pretend to make a big deal of deciding, but the way their ears are all perked up probably gives it away before one of them says, "We find this agreement suitable."]

[Chikusa, in the meanwhile, just sets himself up nearby and points his phone at them. Time to film more nonsense.]