thefarshore | Heaven's BBS

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Heaven's BBS | ~Video~

From: Sousuke Yamazaki
When: Early October

[It’s rare that he posts to the BBS; Sousuke’s quiet nature and sometimes-over-focus kind of leads to that little problem. Content to dwell with his own life and his own small circle of friends and duties. But sometimes, the private life just doesn’t cut it. Especially when said private life is the entire reason for breaking his silence and going outside that small circle.

The video feed clicks on with a quiet sound, light blazing from the screen for a second until it adjusts to the scenery. It’s soon obvious he’s alone. Considering the presence of a black jacket barely resting at the peripheral of the video’s frame, it’s likely he’s holding the screen to his side. Deliberately not pointing the feed at himself. Instead, there’s a lovely shot of a quiet patch of natural garden, complete with trickling spring, breezing of clear air, and the ever-present drizzle of pink sakura petals from the surrounding grove Eros’ castle temple is renowned for.

There’s a moment of silence, semi-awkward on his end, before Sousuke finally outs with it. His tone’s calm, musing.]

Can a god and a shinki be more than god and shinki? [A measure before adding in a lower voice.] Or will it make problems between them?

[Yeah, it’s vague, he knows. The nature of god and shinki is a complex relationship. But Sousuke’s not honest enough with his softer emotions and being open to other people to outright ask the serious/~~embarrassing~~ question:

~~What happens if you find yourself attracted to your own god?~~]

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[He’s surprised he chose to answer Sousuke at all instead of complain or call him an idiot as usual. These days it’s been more and more of a struggle to focus on not slipping up on his words for Sousuke’s sake, simply because they’ve been drawing closer to each other seemingly by the minute. He wants to protect his shinki above anything else, and that involves being truthful no matter what. But just because it should be done, doesn’t mean it will be, and it destroys Rin little by little each time he needs to withdraw from the only person in this world he can’t afford to watch slip away. Even now with his words out in the open, he fears the effect they’ll have on the other swimmer, and holds his breath with anticipation. Sousuke knows Rin’s involvement in his past, knows he exists in those lost memories like a ghost... One fateful slip and everything they’ve built together, feelings and all, will shatter.

A violent reaction never comes though and with Sousuke’s amused tone Rin relaxes his shoulders with a sigh of relief. However, the feeling’s short lived, and he tenses once again upon hearing that one simple word.

Dating.

He sounds so sure about that... How can he sound so sure?

Flutters interrupted him almost instantly, trailing up his arms, down his shoulders, along his spine... He feels warmth radiating in his core and sparks at his fingertips. He wants to run and hide, laugh and yell until his lungs give out... all because of some heartfelt words in return. He sounds so uncertain yet sincere at the same time... At least Rin can confidently say neither of them know what they’re doing.

But they’re trying. And it’s a start.

He doesn’t say anything for a long while, too busy sorting through which emotions are his and which are Sousuke’s to come up with anything coherent. It’s normal not to know everything from the start. Even best friends like them can’t hope to change that. As long as he understand that, accepts that, then tackling this together with Sousuke shouldn’t be scary.

Shutting his eyes, Rin smiles softly towards the sun.]

After everything, you still want me. [There’s more to that statement he won’t elaborate on, but it should be enough to go on. Deep breath. Exhale. Breathe... All the petals at their feet begin to circle in slow rotations around the tree. I want yours.] ... And I want you.

[He might’ve frowned at being called an idiot in this most serious conversation. (Expected it, but frowned nevertheless.) Luckily, Rin doesn’t do that so… they’re moving forward with something both touching and awkward. Still, Sousuke’s not taken all those comments and advice from the people who responded to his network post and ignored them. He knows this is a risky decision; one slip up from Rin could potentially ruin everything between them. But… it’s not concrete. He’s been given some relief from Hakkai about the limits of what his mind can handle; what he and Rin have done together is working. While he doesn’t want to believe it’s fully Rin’s burden for any potential slipups, that’s the nature of the risk. They’ll just have to… be careful. Attentive. Even though he knows it kills Rin each time. From the silent looks his way, knowing that the person Rin sees isn’t quite the person he remembers, to the smiles that cover a quiet-but-deep pain, Sousuke recognizes the burden his friend carries.

But this time, it’s not one the swimmer can help him shoulder.

Perhaps because of that, he’s determined not to let himself be driven from Rin. They’ve come too far, experienced too much, grown together side by side. Even if he doesn’t have his memories, even if them being together carries a threat, it’s not enough for him to leave. Especially not now. Not when he’s asked questions, received his answers, and made a decision to walk down this path.

Next to you. I belong by your side.

And yes. Dating.

Because face it, that’s what this is going to turn into. They’ve already done the dinner thing, the romantic walk in the park, the riverside talk, the quiet return home, and the… well… you know. The hot night. Even if it left them silent for the next several days. The thought of it sends those twittering thoughts and sensations rippling over his skin, filling his stomach and sliding up and down his spine. It makes him shiver, yet warms him despite his embarrassment. Yeah, neither know what he’s doing, Sousuke’s just saying the words floating into his mind, and somehow, they’re supposed to make some progress. In their own way. Tripping and laughing, flustered and shrugging, solemn and curious. It’s a start…

The silence initially makes him wonder if he’s said something wrong. Those words were pretty deep, he guesses. Rin might be a red-faced mess on the other side of the tree, unable to say anything because his tongue’s too tied and he’d sputter if he tries. But as it goes on, he realizes it’s not that. Rin’s… simply trying to process the feelings. Sousuke can give him that. After all, he’s had the advantage of talking about his feelings for a while before their reunion.

Still…it’s like he can feel the smile drifting up to the sky and hear it in his best friend’s voice. A relief. A kindness.]

Of course. [Because of everything, he wants Rin. As his partner, as his god, as his rival, as his best friend. And more. The deep breath and exhale earns a slight tilt of his head as Sousuke looks to the side, as if he can see around the curve of the tree trunk to the other teenager on the opposite side. The lifted petals don’t escape his notice. And then an answer that seizes at his heart and makes his insides melt at the same time.

And I want you.

All he can really do right now… is smile.]

[If there's anyone to call an idiot right now, it's himself. For being reckless, careless, selfish with this whole situation. He's considered the consequences of carrying the burden of a deeper relationship, but even with those in mind he can't bring himself to tell his best friend 'no'. Isn't this dangerous? Out of all the missions they've put themselves through, surely this puts them all to shame. Not... to say this is an ordeal or anything like that. But it isn't easy, probably won't be any time soon, and almost every nerve in his body won't stop screaming at him to reconsider. He can't risk pushing a burden onto Sousuke he won't be able to carry. He can't choose his happiness over his best friend's life.

It's all anxiety speaking though and he knows it well. Being worried about the what-ifs and other things out of his reach... It isn't practical. And all it does is keep the two of them from moving forward, moving on... and being at each others' side.

You do belong here. You always have.

With that fluttering feeling running through Sousuke's body, Rin takes a deep breath, relaxing his muscles to accept the mirrored sensation less than a second later. Up his spine, filling his core, rippling over his skin towards the tip of his head. A long time ago he used to hate the feeling. So overwhelming, ghostly, annoying. Now in this moment, it's almost... enjoyable. Rin arches away from the tree with the electric current coursing through his veins, and just like that he feels rejuvenated, the connection between them made stronger. It's difficult to explain... but it works, right?

There's more silence on his end for a moment after, until finally the grass shifts beneath his feet. Sousuke should be able to figure out why since he's already looking. A little peek of red, a few stray blossoms lifting up with a single step--

--He meets his shinki's eyes after what feels like an eternity, leaning forward just enough and around to make it so.

So... are you ready to start?]

[Lucky for Rin, Sousuke doesn’t share those thoughts. They’ve both had their moments of brash charges during this entire thing, as much as they’ve hesitated and tried to think before jumping. Sousuke’s never asked due to the potential consequences, but he wonders every now and then what it must have been like for Rin to forge the contract and take Sousuke as his shinki so long ago. He must’ve thought about it, must’ve been a mixture of knee-jerk desperation and focused determination. Rin’s emotional, but he’s not stupid.

Of course, taking your dead best friend as your shinki soon after waking up a new god isn’t nearly the same thing as your best friend basically asking if you want to be boyfriends. The risks and challenges of both, however, intertwine. It is dangerous, there are real possibilities of everything being destroyed. Even himself. But… after spending well over half a year together, deepening their friendship and partnership on so many levels… does Sousuke really have it in him to say he doesn’t trust Rin’s strength? Rin is the strongest person he knows and the most caring.

Whatever burden he can carry and smile beneath, Sousuke can carry the same. Even if it means he may eventually break.

Lying about his feelings and pretending nothing ever happened… He can’t live like that. Not with Rin. The burden that would cause his best friend to experience would be insanely frustrating. Sousuke’s not willing to put such a thing on his god’s shoulders. It’s not the safest route to move forward down this path… but it’s the easier and more truthful of the two. I’d rather risk my life and be with you, than hold you at an arm’s length and forever wish you were closer.

Sousuke hears the rustle of fabric pulling away from the tree trunk and his heart picks up a beat. He’s seen Rin so many times, and yet this time, with the sun glittering through the sakura overhead and the new bond blooming between them, the sight is one he’s never seen before. One that embosses itself in his mind in a permanent painting he’s never going to forget. Red eyes look back at him, the drifting petals of rose pink wandering between them, their sight framed on one side by the dark trunk of the tree.

Close enough it only takes a gentle roll to the side and one step to bring Sousuke around the side of the tree. Standing in front of his god. In front of his best friend. The unspoken question is clear in his eyes. He could answer with his voice… but he’d rather lift his hand and cup Rin’s chin with his fingers. Curling the tips to fan over the side of his jaw, thumb brushing at Rin’s lower cheek. Caressing, holding, drawing him closer with a tender tug and coaxing Rin to tilt his head up.as Sousuke leans forward.

And connecting where everything runs sweetest.]

[The heavens probably gave Rin all the time in the world to meet and name his shinki. They were assigned, they were meant to be partners, so sooner or later they had to meet face to face and form an official contract. But Rin couldn’t afford to wait once he knew the truth. A second too long and his best friend could be gone again, taken away by another god or some other horrible twist of fate. Sure, claiming him this way would forever leave a sour taste on his tongue, but nothing could be more important than his best friend’s safety. Whether he remembered him or not... Rin couldn’t let Sousuke stray from his side.

Didn’t need to think about it. He only knew. Intuitively, definitively. No one else could protect Sousuke the way Rin knew he deserved.

Yes, he’s the strongest person he knows. He trusts Sousuke’s strength more than anyone’s. Still, he’s witnessed his pain firsthand, and sad as it is to say, he knows he isn’t invulnerable. Rin couldn’t protect him from everything before, but at least now he has the power to try. He can care for him, fight for him, do all the things he couldn’t for him because distance always got in the way. Dangerous, of course. ... But he loves too much to stop.

Distance closes in an instant. He holds his breath. The light dances between the blossoms and casts soft patterns across his skin. Teal. Red. Touch. Warmth floods his veins in such a rush it renders him dizzy, but Sousuke’s holding him and he’s touching him and Rin can’t lose focus even if he tried. He’s so gentle and inviting, it’s no wonder the motions come so naturally. Eyes lidded, Rin leans in, and from there time forgets to pass them by. How long does it last? How slow is his heart? How many breaths, how many seconds, how many heartbeats can he count where their bodies connect? Ordinarily his mind would be racing with all those questions. Instead, there’s only peaceful silence, and he’s even grown comfortable enough to slip both hands up Sousuke’s shoulders and hook his wrists behind his neck. Stay here. Stay with me. Stay where you belong.

When Rin opens his eyes next, they’re vibrant and burning like rubies. He’s sure Eros’ energy has never been stronger, not even in battle.]

... Heh. I feel like I can take on a hundred ayakashi right now. [He laughs, forehead nudging against Sousuke’s when he does.] Must mean we’re doing something right.

[The thought has lingered in his mind like a fish lurking in the back of the ocean. What would have happened to him had he been taken by another god? Not the stolen version he’s experienced, but actually having another person as his god. The connection he feels towards Rin, not the god and shinki bond, but the other, deeper one… what would have become of that? Would he even be who he was right now had Rin not come into his life? The pool where they swim, the kitchen where they laugh, the bed they share, the conversations… all of that… It’s not a comforting thought, really, but it does remind him each time how grateful he is that Rin’s his god. There’s so much the other boy’s shown him, so many ways he’s helped him grow. Things he’ll never be able to completely thank him for.

He's not stupid; this is a dangerous path to walk down. There are memories in Rin’s head that will be stirred and brought to poignant focus. There will be times he risks blurting something out that might trigger a downward spiral. But Sousuke knows that living a lie and stunting his own feelings would be far worse. Especially since Rin can feel them and would know immediately that his shinki is hiding something. Frustrating, but simultaneously rewarding. So… this is his choice. To live the truth and not hide away behind fear over “what if’s” that might not come true. To live with Rin.

Truly with him.

He twitches his fingers, soft pads offering tiny rubs at the other boy’s skin. Feeling the tender warmth of his flesh and the heady rush of heartbeats swimming through his veins. He tastes the heat in his lips; the flavor of his breath soaks into his tongue. It feels as if everything in his body focuses on that one point, their connection. Comfort, completion, relief, all those good sensations drain over him like a warm rain, leaving his skin tingling and his spine shivering beneath his shirt. It’s… what he’s wanted for days now. This feeling that lasts for however many eternal seconds. Not counting, not thinking, merely enjoying the freedom that comes from admitting and acting on the deep affection that’s for so long budded into such strength between them.

A soft breath slips from the corner of his mouth, puffing over Rin’s lips. Natural response to those touches sliding over his shoulders and hooking around his neck. The race of Rin’s pulse immediately comes clean through the back of Sousuke’s neck, warming his skin and making him struggle not to break into a stupid smile in the middle of a kiss. It doesn’t quite work and pink appears under his eyes as his side of the kiss curves upward into a soft, but happy smile. Embarrassing… but it’s happened.

He opens his eyes, gazing into the sparkling gemstones in front of him. Hn… There’s no way he can’t feel that energy surging through his god’s body. Eros’ strength rekindled into something amazing.

So that’s what a god and shinki are capable of. And he gets the feeling they haven’t even gone past the surface of what they were capable of.]

I’m going to take that as a ‘yes’.

[He didn't realize just how long he's gone without this brand of contact. How many days has it been since they could look each other in the eye for longer than a second? How many hours since the last time they brushed fingers or even playfully nudged each other in the sides with their elbows? Rin wonders if it would be cheesy to say he's taken his time with Sousuke for granted up until now... Che. As if this entire day hasn't been cheesy enough.

Doesn't seem like that's going to stop him from doing cheesy things, like grinning back and snickering through his teeth, all the happiness bubbling out of him, unable to hold back. Embarrassing, whatever. At least he's not doing it alone.]

You think?

[he teases, pulling away so he can lightly push at his best friend's chest.]

Look how goofy you look. I've never seen you so pink.

[Days. It’s been days since that night. Sleeping in the same bed had been moderately awkward the entire time, though he couldn’t really bring himself to sleep on the floor or in another bed after all this time. The normal teasing they were so used to doing had gone tepid for a bit. No longer bumping each other on the hip while cooking, avoiding the casual tug of that little ponytail or ruffling his hair like a pupper, generally looking past each other rather than at… It’s kind of embarrassing to admit it’d gotten that far… but now, he doesn’t think they’re going to have to worry about that distance anymore.

Of course, when Rin’s laughter finally breaks free, Sousuke can’t keep his own inside. A brief snort and then his own laughter spills out, short, deep, and most importantly, happy. It feels good, this happiness and relief. How stupid it took him this long to finally admit his feelings. Especially with this as the result.]

Of course.

[Sousuke leans back as they separate, then grunts slightly at the push. He takes a mock step back to “brace” himself before giving Rin an attempted frown. Doesn’t work.]

Urusei. You’re no better, and you always hog the pink.

[It’s a relief to return to normal and not have to live with constant tension underlying their actions. There’s a weight that’s been lifted off his shoulders and Rin finally feels like he can breathe better, move better, do everything better because of it. Finally they’re on the same page. Will it be easy from here on out? Somehow he doubts it. But he’s ready, just as with everything else. Might even be a little eager.]

Hog it? Oi, look closer.

[And there he goes, right back to stepping into Sousuke’s personal bubble to lean up with a playful gleam in his eyes. Mm, maybe playful isn’t quite the right word for it. Flirtatious? ... Wow. He’s getting into the swing of things quicker than he thought. At any rate, Rin’s not exactly doing himself any favors now, showing off a blush bright enough to rival all the blossoms in this grove. Better laugh it off again. Or bat his eyelashes some more.]

It’s just warm out here, that’s all. [He snickers again though, clearly not bothering to cover up.]

[How they ever made it this far with such an issue twisting beneath them is anyone’s guess. Sousuke’s relief is as obvious as his elation. They can go back to being simply them. Even with this new layer added to their complex relationship, even with this new path they’re diving into together, they’re still just them. Rin and Sousuke. The way he knows he’ll always want it. No, it won’t be easy; they’ll have problems. But heck, they’ve already dealt with so much getting to this point. They’ll handle anything else the same way they did the past.

Together.

Look? Psh.]

Don’t have to.

[And glances to the side on purpose as Rin redefines what “personal space” is in front of him. But it only lasts a few seconds before he returns his gaze back to his best friend. And almost instantly sinks into a cool little smirk. There’s so much pink on that face in front of him. As rosy as the sakura petals drifting around them. If not even a little darker. Though this time, Sousuke’s tan skin is wearing a shade that’s a surprising rival to Rin’s. (He’ll lose his faster than his god will; that’s for sure at least.)]

Hmph. Yours is even worse than mine and you know it.

[Not taking back the “hog” comment. Rin blushes more than enough for the two of them. But when that bold-faced fail of an excuse comes out, Sousuke snorts in wry amusement. Especially because Rin did it on purpose and doesn’t believe a word of it.]

Maybe you should take something off then, hot stuff.

[Hey, don’t look away from him and don’t pretend like you don’t wanna stare either! He can see right through you, mister. Just try pulling a fast one on him. Remember: this is the guy you’re stuck with not just as a partner, but as a partner partner. No room for regret here. It’s not like Rin believes Sousuke would anyway, having addressed the entire network as he did just to seek answers and closure for the sake of their relationship. Stupid. Potentially. But look where it got them, back to laughing and smiling and doing all the things they should be doing side by side. Yeah. So Sousuke’s stuck with him and Rin’s stuck with Sousuke. Just as it should be, right?]

Is not.

[Rin rolls his eyes and considers sticking his tongue out for added effect. If he gets aggressive enough, surely his complexion will return to normal. Or... he can hear that. Hot stuff. And self consciously cross his arms over his chest as if trying to cover himself up from some yet undiscovered x-ray vision Sousuke hasn’t shared with him. Hey now, that’s quite a jump in teasing, you know! Give him a second to catch up!]

What is it with you and getting me to take stuff off? [Ok, so telling him to take his shirt off that night was a special, exclusive case, but still.] I shouldn’t entertain you with that anymore if you’re gonna be greedy.

[Maybe he wants to look away just to see your attempts to get his attention back, hm? Unfortunately, Rin knows him too well, so he gets Sousuke’s eyes on him soon enough. Yeah, he’s well aware that this is the person he wants to be more than god and shinki with, more than partners. More than friends. This hasn’t come as some kneejerk reaction; Sousuke’s dwelt on it for a long time. Ultimately, the simple truth is, he desires this. Without any regrets. Enough to finally man up and ask people about the consequences. It is stupid, but so are most things if you think about it for a bit. Especially romantic things. But with each laugh and smile, his heart feels warmer, his body lighter, his spirit freer. Because he’s made the right choice. As it should be.]

Uh-huh.

[Sousuke arches a brow at the folded arms. He remembers that motion… lying on his back on the bed, Rin above him pulling his shirt off and then blocking his vision out of embarrassment with those same arms. It’s a mixture of adorable and annoying, truth be told. And look, it’s not like he went off purring that comment or waggling an eyebrow! It could very well be a simple, boys-will-be-boys suggestion on how to get more comfortable! Right?]

… Nothing? This is the first time in… a long time, if you don’t count swimming. [Yeah, that night will forever brand those words, that very idea, as something intimate and sensual. But can’t fault Sousuke for trying to buck the brand, you know. He cocks his head to the side at the threat, only to close his eyes and offer a casual shrug.] Says the guy who busts in while I’m showering.

[Look, it’ll never not be fun ammunition.]

[Annoying? Adorable? W-well, he'd better get used to it, especially if he's going to keep messing around with him like this! Being all annoying and adorable himself... The nerve.

With a huff, Rin looks away, arms still crossed. They should probably get a move on from under this tree before all these petals practically bury them in a sea of pink.]

Figures you'd be keeping track.

[He starts walking off with that and with the way he glances over his shoulder and keeps at a steady pace it should be obvious he wants Sousuke to fall into step with him. Yes, even when he blurts out nonsense like that.]

We've already been over that! I didn't do it on purpose!

[Have an elbow nudge for that one.]

I barely saw anything anyway.

[You say that like he’s not already used to that. Maybe less so on the annoying part, and he’s only started realizing the adorable part in the past weeks, but it’s not like Rin’s any different now than he always is. That’s part of his never-ending charm. (And don’t worry, he won’t tease you too bad… You’re just too fun to fluster.) ~~Who’re you calling annoying and adorable? That’s your gig.~~

As Rin averts his gaze, Sousuke only offers a quiet smile. Of course he’s going to be like this. But yes, they can move out from under the tree. Should probably head back inside anyways. The sun’s starting to dip. He snorts quietly at the comment and lifts his shoulders in a lazy shrug.]

Figures you wouldn’t.

[Sousuke doesn’t need more than that silent glance to understand. There’s only a few seconds gap before his longer legs catch up to Rin’s and he falls instep beside him. Where it’s comfortable and normal. Where he enjoys being the most. Hearing that defensive burst only makes him laugh, a short little sound that’s simply happy.]

Hai, hai. I know—oof!

[Oy! Keep that bony elbow out of his ribs! Unless you’re trying to reach his heart or something. (Says the guy that met said elbow with a solid “thud” of strong body.)]

Aa. But you’ve seen everything now…

[Che, like he trusts him when he says he won't tease him too bad. Rin knows for a fact Sousuke won't let up on him just because they're closer now. If anything, that's going to give him an excuse to be even more of a pain in the ass. He can already see it now, pretending gravity's failing on him so he can squish Rin into the pillows and never get up again. As if he doesn't do that enough already.]

Wh-- Something like that isn't important to know!

[Defensive, defensive. He feels like he has to be to make up for all the sappy things he's been saying for the past hour or so. Funny how quickly time's flying now that they've patched things up and fallen back into place. In the back of his mind, Rin secretly wishes it'll slow to a crawl again before the sun disappears...

Rin makes a choked sound in response. Everything. That's a bit bold, isn't it? Then again, why would it be anything else? He really needs to stop being so prudish about all this. They're both mature enough to make their own decisions... and today they've made the most important one. His expression softens on that thought, though still a touch rosy around the edges, before he drops his arms to shove one hand in his pocket and leave the other to reach out for Sousuke's sleeve. There's a simple, light brush at first, a tentative stretch for the inside of a wrist, but then he's hooking two fingers into the fabric instead.]

Urusei...

[Who’re you calling a pain in the ass? Rin teases him just as bad, if not worse! Poking him in the sides in the morning, telling the “lazy bones” to get up with him. Not to mention all those physical assaults. You know, he might just do that gravity squish thing a few more times, just to get in a few extra Z’s in the morning and keep his ever-energetic boyfriend stuck. Mutter something along the lines of “go back to sleep” while he buries his face in the pillow. (And of course he won’t let up on the teasing; he doesn’t want Rin getting soft around the edges.)]

Oh? Maybe I pay more attention than you then.

[Said casually. Meant as a taunting dig. They may be similar in many ways, but they’re polar opposites in others. It rounds them out well and makes “them” uniquely them. Sousuke tilts his head to the side and blows a sakura petal off his shoulder with a puff. It ends up a small, pink cascade down his arm since there’s a heck of a lot more than one sitting on him right now. The little back and forth brings a gentleness inside him that makes him want to linger here. Their ebb and flow, like the constant surf of the beach.

He glances to the side.] Oy. [Don’t choke on him. That’ll ruin this wonderful mood they’ve got going on here. Ah who’s he kidding. He’s going to tease Rin mercilessly. Maybe unconscious paybacks for being so stubborn, Sousuke had to buckle down and fess up to the network. But he’s glad for the results; that goes without saying. As for the comment, it’s not like it’s a lie! They’ve seen a heck of a lot more than an second-long flash in the shower. Done more too… Sousuke’s just more mature than Rin. ~~In some regards.~~

There’s a brush at his sleeve, a gentle one that’s pure accident… but followed by a second, more deliberate. Fingers hook, his wrist bumps against the ring of his sleeve cuff, and his arm’s now married to Rin’s swaying limb. For a few moments, he leaves it, but then turns his hand and gently spiders his fingers up the underside of Rin’s wrist. Before inverting the touch and sliding his hand down, fingers slipping between Rin’s to hold.

And stay’s silent. Because he’s a good boy who’s obedient. Right?]

[Worse? Since when is he worse? You’re bigger, so each one of your teases is worth double the pain Rin’s normally are! That’s just the physics of things, you know. Don’t blame him, he doesn’t make up the rules. This does mean Rin should work harder then, doesn’t it? If Sousuke’s going to bury himself in the pillows, then he’ll have to sit on his head to keep him there. Or flip the mattress over. Or both. Heh. That’ll show him a thing or two. For being annoying, for being complicated... for being adorable and gentle and stupid while he stands there against the setting sun with sakura petals on his shoulders and in his hair...

He’s about to reach out to brush some off when Sousuke takes care of it himself, so Rin’s hand makes an awkward detour to fiddle with his shirt instead, brushing off the lower hem as if there’s something there.

It’ll take some getting used to. Maybe a lot of getting used to before he’ll be 100% comfortable with “everything.” But Sousuke’s always been more patient than him... and he trusts his best friend to ease him into this without a hitch. He’s always been good at that. Tying up their loose ends, making sure Rin doesn’t stray too far, too fast.

As soon as he feels skin to skin contact, Rin’s movements become more fluid and less hesitant, featherlight to start but warm and receptive once fingers meet the base of his palm. Each digit spreads just wide enough for Sousuke to fill in the gaps, and from there they fall into place like puzzle pieces. He waits... adjusts... squeezes... His pulse only exists in his fingertips for a solid minute.]

... So, uh— [Finally he finds his voice after taking a moment to let out a breath he didn’t realize he’d been holding in.] –That night... [Still staring at the ground and counting his steps] ... It wasn’t too much, was it? You can say if it was.

[He’ll admit it was... explosive at times with their combined emotions running rampant as they were, but as for Sousuke he can’t say.]

[Since always, most likely. Oh don’t you dare pull the size card on him for this! You’re more energetic so your insults pace more punch! Hah. Physics right back at you, rule breaker. Of course, Sousuke’s generally less responsive to those insults (or at least less animated), so it’s a moot point either way. He’s fine with tossing his zingers out all casual like until Rin gets him fired up enough to go at it with more gusto. Which… isn’t too hard; it’s Rin. Hey, feel free to sit on his head. Just ignore those long arms he’s still got free as they reach up and pinch, poke, prod, and tickle his way out of that trap.

And please, you couldn’t flip that bed’s mattress over if you tried, especially not with Sousuke laying on it. Really, Rin should stop it with these things. They just make him all the more stupidly adorable and attractive and Sousuke shouldn’t be blamed at all for acting on those feelings. Since it’s obviously Rin’s aim, right? Kind of like holding onto his sleeve out here in the sakura drenched landscape… Or doing that attempted save by brushing at his shirt when Sousuke knows he really’d been going for some of those petals. Che… romantic.

Strange that for all their closeness, they’re going to have to adjust to this new path. This new relationship. Sousuke’s never been as comfortable around anyone as he has around Rin. Never will. And yet, it’s that “everything” Rin’s thinking about that the larger athlete’s also wondering on. Rin’s going to have to deal with his adjustments… but then again, his best friend’s always done that. From living as a shinki to learning how to swim again. Why should being boyfriends be any different? Rin’s always been good at that, enabling Sousuke to move forward without becoming too complacent or lazy.

Rin’s acceptance enables his fingers to interlock between the other boy’s as smooth as water and he folds them down over Rin’s hand, fitting them between the grooves of his knuckles. It should have ended there… but instead, he finds himself slowly moving his fingers in aimless motions, rubbing his thumb up and down the side of Rin’s index finger and along the curve of skin between finger and thumb, fingertips gently grazing between the slender bones rippling on the back of his hand. Touching… always touching and feeling… ensuring that he’s really there. Really with him.]

Hm?

[The silence breaks with a simple question. But then it goes there and Sousuke feels a warm pink start to nudge under his skin. He pushes the flutters away. They should be able to talk about this openly. It’s just them. No one else. He finds himself smiling at the question, a soft little thing that’s gentle and amused. Honestly, is Rin worried about that? Or is it simply something to talk about. This time, at least, he doesn’t answer with a question.]

It was intense. First time and all. But… There’s no way it could be too much. I’ve never felt like that before. Physically or emotionally.

[Yes, it had been explosive. Multiple ways. And they’d probably passed out at the end rather than fell asleep. But there are absolutely no regrets. And even more telling…]

I want to do it again.

[Tickle? Ohhh no, no, no, you're the ticklish one! If anything, you should be watching your back for when Rin inevitably strikes you down! So play nice and be nice, dude. Your ribs will thank you for it.

Not that he can think about kicking or tickling or any of those things while Sousuke's actually holding his hand. And now more than holding. Rubbing! Touching! It shouldn't feel this nice but it does and he has to focus all his attention on their fingers so he won't mess up the moment with sweaty palms. Something that simple and delicate shouldn't have his mind racing like this, reminding him of all their fistbumps and secret handshakes... and other places their hands have been.

Which leads him to his question. Even if the night went well overall, they still haven't gone into detail about it. What felt right, what felt wrong... if they'll ever do it again.

Wait.]

Huh?

[Did he just... say that? Rin looks up from the ground, eyes wide, before the sentence finally processes and he has to face away again to compose himself. It's one thing to think about doing it again, but to actually admit it? He's back to squeezing Sousuke's fingers, knuckles white for a fraction of a second. Right. Since they're going through with this, that means they're obligated to-- Nn. No, maybe that's not the right word. Or is it? Ugh, he told you he's never done this before!

More breathing, more fidgeting. Until he finally manages a muttered,]

I mean... we can...

[Urusei… He’s going to make sure those hands are down by your sides where they’re supposed to be! (At least during this little exercise.) Besides, Sousuke always plays nice. When he feels like it. Rin’s just that kind of opponent.

Funny that something as simple as hands holding together can bring such a reaction out of two people. He’s seen couples plenty of times before during their trips to the Near Shore. Walking along, hands joined like there’s nothing unusual or out of the normal at all. A special bond… But he can’t just hold Rin; his fingers move, his grip changes, he’s rubbing and touching his hand as if there’s some burning itch under his flesh that desires to always know Rin’s connected to him. It feels nice, the beat of his heart beneath his fingers… the rush of Rin’s thoughts undoubtedly flurrying inside his head.

Nope, this isn’t a fistbump at all.

Sousuke, for all his forwardness in asking the question, looks anywhere but Rin’s face as he offers those heartfelt words. They haven’t talked about that night since, well, that night. Something in the back of his mind tells him it’s wrong to bring up such a subject out in the open air like this. But his heart goads him on further. Rin’s his boyfriend; they should be able to discuss more intimate things when they’re alone… right?

The last thing he wants is for Rin to think he doesn’t want to be with him in some particular way. Swimming in the pool, cooking lunch together, fighting ayakashi, training among flashes of love energy and water strikes, sleeping in the same bed, walking the sights of Tokyo side by side; if they can be together in all of that without a problem, then they can be together in that heated tangle amid the sheets again.

Fingers squeeze his hand and Sousuke strokes his fingertips between Rin’s knuckles, encouraging him to calm down. (And like hell are they “obligated” for anything.) It’s not like Sousuke’s done this before either. He just happens to be more… in control of his emotions.]

Okay.

[The muttered answer is good enough for him. At least both of them are open to the option. Now to step away from that and ask a question that’s been floating around in his head.]

Are you upset that I asked about this on the network?

[He didn't take Sousuke for the type to enjoy physical contact like this, but... he enjoys it, even if he isn't standing still. He's mapping out his fingers, warming the skin beneath his palm and making his heartbeat race faster each time feels the sharp points in his knuckles. It's all normal stuff he's seen other people do. But... he can't yet grasp that it's now his. He reached for Sousuke's hand, he told him he liked him... If he stares down into the water, will he recognize the reflection staring back?

He can't let any of that cast doubt on his best friend though, not when Sousuke's made it obvious how important this relationship is to him. He wants this to work. He needs this to work. Because... Sousuke deserves that much. Something good, something to make him happy after all the confusion and chaos he's been through after death. Does that sound too dramatic?

He's rethinking every word by the time Sousuke changes the subject and Rin's quick to latch onto it as a welcome diversion.]

Well... [Rin clears his throat and finally turns to Sousuke, brows furrowed.] Now that you mention it, I did hear you giving away too much information.

[Sousuke really isn’t the physical type. He and Rin usually keep that distance between them. But considering they just agreed to the whole boyfriends thing and he knows Rin’s more physical than he is, well… He can get a little touchy every now and then. It’s romantic and kind of embarrassing, but won’t hurt to walk hand in hand through the cherry blossoms for a while longer. Besides… there’s a quiet urge inside him requesting more of that touch, of Rin’s warmth, over and over until he’s memorized everything about him.

Maybe he’s just adjusting to this faster than the Master of Romance beside him. For all Rin talks about it, he’s woefully unprepared. Not that Sousuke’s one to talk; he just doesn’t show his unpreparedness as openly. Apparently… Truth be told, he’s not sure what’s driving him to do these kinds of actions. It’s probably as unreasonable as sitting up and licking your best friend’s nipples. Aka; no idea what he’s doing. But he’s doing it and the warmth is still there, blooming in his skin and chest. None of which feels wrong at all.

And then he shoots himself in the foot with one question. Hmph, well, no one can say he doesn’t know Rin like the back of his hand. Sousuke looks at Rin, a somewhat-wry, but maybe apologetic (semi-pathetic) face appearing with a mirrored frown and pout.] Too much? I tried keeping it vague…

[Minus two private conversations that dipped into god/shinki bonds more than… dating advice.]

[He doesn't want Sousuke to give up his comfort for his sake, you know. If he doesn't want to be touchy feely, then he shouldn't have to just because they're dating! Maybe he'll bring it up later to make sure Sousuke's really ok... and hope he doesn't try lying for Rin's sake (because he knows he's more than capable of it).

Still, he supposes this is just how Sousuke's always been. He doesn't let his emotions make his decisions for him. If he feels like doing anything in the spur of the moment, he'll do it just because he wants to. Like taking a nap minutes before a big race or tagging along at Rin's side for a late night run... Telling him he likes him under the silver glow of the moon.

He shivers before he remembers he's supposed to be annoyed here and goes back to frowning, not at all pleased with that semi-pathetic look he's getting either.]

You told someone it was intense, didn't you?

[That might have gone into great detail, but it was close enough to imply they did a lot! He leans in, tugging a bit on Sousuke's hand so he can make absolutely certain their eyes won't break contact.]

What else did you say?

[If he didn’t want to hold hands, he would’ve taken his away by now. (Maybe…) Sousuke does sacrifice a lot for Rin, but this comfort right now isn’t one of them. He wants to touch, he wants this connection. After everything they’ve said and talked about… it’d actually feel stranger to just walk with that distance between them. Rin just shouldn’t expect it to become normal. Lounging with his legs thrown over Rin’s lap is—ironically—not the same as walking down the sidewalk with his hand resting within his best friend’s.

Rin’s the one who lets his emotions free; he lives with them vibrant and clear, just like Sousuke assumes he’s always been. Yet even if Rin lives by his emotions, he doesn’t let them completely rule him. He does things to answer his heart, says and advises with the same. Like telling him to stop swimming to give his body a rest or making Sousuke his shinki even though he knows it will be difficult down the road. Those kinds of heartfelt things that Sousuke sometimes doesn’t “get” with his theory-running mind, but never fails to trust and follow.

(Well, minus their dead-end arguments over swimming alone or swimming with a team.)

And back to the uncomfortable part because Rin decides now’s a good time to get annoyed. Sousuke doesn’t apologize for his expression. Really, why would he?

The question… ugh. Yeah well he’d been warned about this (and told it was stupid not to make the conversations private).

Sousuke heaves a quiet sight and rubs the side of his neck. Well, nothing more to do but offer what he could and see if he’ll be sleeping on the floor tonight. Can’t look away either; that’s so mean, Rin.]

Apart from the intense comment? A few people figured I was talking about my god when I asked about shinki liking the god who named them. [Because he sucks at being vague, as well Rin knows.] Dating and stuff. And someone voluntarily mentioned the topic of sex… But I never went into any detail about anything.

[Just to be blunt about it. Really, he hadn’t said much. Mostly a few people figured out Sousuke had feelings for Rin, but only two or three people figured something intimate happened between the sharks. Two of those seemed to have had similar experiences themselves, so… yeah.]

[Sousuke's always been more logical than Rin and while that might have kept them apart before, being on the same swim team and... dating... are two different things, right? For all Rin knows, that's exactly what could keep them together and keep Rin's emotions in check. Or... they could fight more over it and end up shoving each other into farthest opposite corners of the castle. Right now he wants to think positive though. It's not like much is changing anyway. Except... those things, but--

Rin holds his pout as he listens... ah, yes, and then the forbidden word.

Sex!?

Time to squeeze hands and kick at the grass while they walk. Is he ever going to get used to thinking about it? Is that what that night even was?]

Haah, but someone out there knows what we're doing!

[He covers his face with his free hand, wanting to rub it right off if he could... then, peeking through his fingers and cursing his curiosity,]

... Why did they mention it anyway?

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