Heaven's BBS | ~Video~

[takenwithhim]

From: Sousuke Yamazaki
When: Early October

[It’s rare that he posts to the BBS; Sousuke’s quiet nature and sometimes-over-focus kind of leads to that little problem. Content to dwell with his own life and his own small circle of friends and duties. But sometimes, the private life just doesn’t cut it. Especially when said private life is the entire reason for breaking his silence and going outside that small circle.

The video feed clicks on with a quiet sound, light blazing from the screen for a second until it adjusts to the scenery. It’s soon obvious he’s alone. Considering the presence of a black jacket barely resting at the peripheral of the video’s frame, it’s likely he’s holding the screen to his side. Deliberately not pointing the feed at himself. Instead, there’s a lovely shot of a quiet patch of natural garden, complete with trickling spring, breezing of clear air, and the ever-present drizzle of pink sakura petals from the surrounding grove Eros’ castle temple is renowned for.


There’s a moment of silence, semi-awkward on his end, before Sousuke finally outs with it. His tone’s calm, musing.]

Can a god and a shinki be more than god and shinki? [A measure before adding in a lower voice.] Or will it make problems between them?

[Yeah, it’s vague, he knows. The nature of god and shinki is a complex relationship. But Sousuke’s not honest enough with his softer emotions and being open to other people to outright ask the serious/embarrassing question:

What happens if you find yourself attracted to your own god?]

Comments

[takenwithhim]

[There’s a reason he’s NOT dumping you in the creek, you know. But he’s never going to deny you don’t look a hot, dripping mess when rising from the water like a grumpy (or sensual) sea god.

Really, it’s not a far assumption that Sousuke’s walking on air right now. He may not show it as readily as Rin, or be embarrassed by it (externally), but he really is happy right now. His heart’s fluttering at a fast pace, his breathing’s a tiny bit hitched, and his brain is running lickity split with questions and flusters and comments galore. But… this is nice. The chance to be with Rin like this, unfettered and enjoying this “new” with the most important person in his world… it makes him feel complete. Free.

Bringing up his fears… it quiets him, but does little to dampen his spirits right now. Rin wants to know the truth. It hurts to admit, but he thought about lying. It would’ve been easy, casually dismissing the idea of being scared about dating his best friend, about being more with his god. But the thought doesn’t sit well with him, particularly because it came so readily. Instinctively. Like it was normal to want to hide things from Rin. Yes, he does it because Rin doesn’t need to burden himself with Sousuke’s issues, but right now, such a thing would be… grossly rude.

Besides, Rin understands Sousuke too well to fall for a lie right now.

That doesn’t mean he particularly likes the topic. Admitting to Rin his own weakness is never easy for Sousuke; Rin’s the one person in the world Sousuke doesn’t ever want to see him in any state of weakness. From injury to exhaustion to illness. He always wants to be standing tall and strong, to be the best rival and friend Rin could ever have. Someone dependable, someone who can always be counted on to be there and support Rin through anything he has to do. The perfect guy who can never be broken or defeated by anything.

Now they’re going inside under the quiet admission that Sousuke’s afraid of something. He’s pulled through the doors as easily as Rin pulls the admission from him a few seconds ago. The sunshine goes from natural light to window-filtered glow, mirroring off the reflective surfaces of the castle’s always-impressive interior. But for all the sudden change in atmosphere, Sousuke senses the shift in Rin’s step. He’s determined about something and Sousuke’s semi-suspicious that Rin’s attempting to brush something under the rug or avert his gaze from it.

Actually, the answer he gets back from Rin is… strange? It sounds good; the confident words and promise to support him are all there. It brings to mind Sousuke’s comfort at Rin’s teaching, his swimming coach and captain in the pool. Impossible to doubt. Impossible to ignore. Yet… it’s vague. Rin never asked what Sousuke feared. Which is strange, considering Sousuke even admitted he was afraid in the first place.

It’s not like Rin to bypass something like that with a confident gloss. Not truthfully that is. He offers a light curl of his hand, returning the firmer grip, and feeling the sweat beginning on Rin’s palm. Nail in coffin. Rin really is worked up about something. And it’s not just the “boyfriends” or “dating” topic.]

Rin… [Sousuke’s tone is quiet, understanding, but he calls him out on his hidden thoughts without saying much of anything.] What is it? [About whatever it is you’re feeling now.]

[sharkmaid]

[Sousuke's never been one to admit his faults and fears so easily, so he knows that answer couldn't have been an easy one to give. Out of pride, out of some protective instinct he'll never be able to shake off or quite understand. Sousuke confessing must mean he's comfortable, at the very least... but knowing that isn't enough to settle Rin's own doubts. Because he can sense the unease, the underlying urge to fall back and lie like it's second nature. He wants to say he's fine because, like Rin, Sousuke wants to be the best to the one person who deserves it. It's there, it'll probably continue to stay there unless his best friend undergoes some magical transformation... and it pains him to know it.

He's fine as he is. He's strong enough, brave enough, the best at being himself. If only it were so easy to say...

There's sunlight at his back once they pass the threshold together, and when the door shuts, suddenly it's gone, effectively separating them from the outside world once again. Is that comforting? Is it sad? To know how far they've set themselves away from everything and everyone else... Maybe that's what Rin fears the most. Can he still give Sousuke freedom if he holds him this close?

It's no surprise Sousuke senses something off from the start. Rin's never been good at lying, not when he always keeps his heart on his sleeve. So he stops, footsteps falling silent against the marble floor, then after a few beats to think and repeat the question in his head he turns, ducks his head, and just... rests his forehead to Sousuke's chest. He shouldn't lie. He can't lie. Yes, he wants to protect Sousuke with everything he has, but how can he hope to accomplish that if he isn't open or truthful? Within Sousuke's hold, Rin's fingers start to tremble.]

... I have to be perfect for you.

[Rin realizes how hypocritical that is for him to say, but he can't help himself. Not when he feels it's true.]

I promised to support you as a friend before anything else... and now I need to support you as someone more. [His free hand reaches up, fingers finding the fabric of Sousuke's sleeve to cling to for assurance.] I don't even know if I've fulfilled my promise up until now. If I've kept you safe enough, happy enough--

[If I don't show you how much you mean to me, you'll never know.

He lifts his head up quickly, being sure to keep his eyes focused even as they being to gloss over.]

I want to be something you deserve... not something to be afraid of.

[takenwithhim]

[It’s always there, the silent reminder drifting in the back of his mind. Rin can read everything inside him whether he likes it or not. What reservations he had towards opening up to him, the instinctive lean towards offering a lie, the gentle comfort that he’s experiencing right now that enables him to answer in the rare truthful moment… Rin knows all that. Conversely, Sousuke doesn’t. Perhaps it’s lucky for him that Rin wears his emotions so openly; he doesn’t necessarily need that intimate connection to Rin’s feelings. Even so, Rin’s actions right now hint at his hidden thoughts; thoughts Sousuke guesses Rin would have brushed to the side had he not called him out on it. For all his desires to have Sousuke open to him, Rin has a quiet habit of keeping parts of himself bottled up inside.

Especially if he feels it will affect Sousuke negatively or make Rin himself look like he’s unsure of himself, uncomfortable with something, or in need. Rin has his own pride and self-confidence he likes to protect too. They really are very similar to each other in the end. A desire to be the best, to be perfect, to be the reliable one that can achieve every dream lying ahead of them. But Sousuke knows no matter how many times he tells Rin to not worry, that it’s fine, they’re going to be okay, Rin will be Rin. Because he cares so much, because of those precious emotions to him and his kind heart, he’ll always be Rin.

The door closing behind them transitions the outside light into the interior light. It’s almost like the mood from before has likewise been shut out and now they’re inside, away from any potential eyes, and able to unearth all the hidden things that rest beneath the sakura-soaked happiness of becoming boyfriends. Guess every coin has two sides, the moon a light and dark side.

As Rin stops, Sousuke lets his steps slow and eventually cease, one foot arched up on the ball before he lowers his heel. He doesn’t press the question, only stands silently and waits for Rin to decide what to do. They can move forward and push it aside for later or they can confront it now. Motion… and it’s now. Sousuke blinks when Rin turns to him and a soft sound slips from his mouth as his best friend presses his forehead to his chest. The taller boy looks down as the pressure and warmth seep into his skin beneath his shirt. Fingers tremble in his own, a quiet breath soaks over his front.

… I have to be perfect for you.

That’s… a very strange emotion. His face wants to pink and his chest clenches in a warmth that threatens to reach up to his throat… and his hand wants to smack Rin on the back of the head.]

Oy…

[He can’t blame him for the comment though. It’s shocking how similar they are. How many times has Sousuke had the same thought pass through his head? How many times has that very desire fueled his actions towards Rin and even himself? Never once has it been a lie. Foolish, perhaps, but never a lie. Perhaps this is how Rin feels every time he realizes Sousuke’s doing the same thing. A mixture of tender happiness and incredulous irritation that Rin would set such an impossible standard for himself. Doesn’t he know he’s already perfect to Sousuke? Doesn’t he realize how much damage he might do to himself trying to be perfect?

Doesn’t he realize that Sousuke’s the one that supposed to be perfect so that Rin doesn’t have to burden himself being perfect?!

Sousuke presses his lips into a line, silencing the quiet protest that wants to pop out instantly. He could reprimand him, call him out on being stupid, tell him that he’s already perfect and shouldn’t burden himself with worrying about all of that… But he doesn’t. Only stands silently in front of his god, looking down at him with deep teal eyes as Rin reaches up and clings onto his sleeve for assurance, for support.]

Rin… [He doesn’t break his gaze, not even when Rin lifts his head and looks at him, eyes focused and wet. Why do you beat yourself up over stuff like this?]

There’s nothing I could ever do to deserve you. [Sousuke brushes the backs of his fingers over Rin’s cheek, smoothing one half of his bangs to the side and tucking the maroon curtain behind his ear.] You’re a gift, not something that I need to work for, not something that needs to prove anything to me.

Everything you’ve done for me has been everything I could ever desire. I’m happy with you, I’m safe with you. You’re the greatest rival I could ever hope for… and the best friend I could ever have.

[As if he could make the words hit deeper, Sousuke curves his hand from behind Rin’s ear, caressing over the crux of his jaw and down the slope to his chin. Before gently spreading his hand over the side of Rin’s face, cupping his cheek and holding his gaze to him.]

I will never be afraid of you.

[sharkmaid]

[He's probably being the most annoying thing in the world right now, fluctuating between embarrassed and elated, confident and unsure. His whole body feels like it's stuttering while being tugged one way then the other. For all his complications though, of course Sousuke stays patient, and of course he tolerates him even when Rin starts to repeat himself. How can he be this understanding every time?

But they could do this back-and-forth all day long, getting nowhere fast, accomplishing nothing fast. Who's perfect and for what reason shouldn't matter. It's what he needs to tell himself before he slowly loses his time and focus for anything else. Sure... it's easy in theory, embracing his faults and shortcomings for what they are, maybe even accepting they don't exist in the first place. But like Sousuke says, Rin will be Rin. Too kind, too sensitive, too vulnerable to his own heart to ever consider himself first, his loved ones second.

Sousuke's touch does allow Rin a moment of clarity though, even when he says something as ridiculous as that. Saying he doesn't deserve him, praising him, always being so damn gentle... It melts his heart. Tears it to pieces, builds it back up again. Like always, it's effortless, giving Rin the words he needs to hear, and for a moment he forgets to be worried. He forgets ever beating himself up, ever doubting his own capabilities... because suddenly he's focused on fingers on his cheek and Sousuke's voice reaching into his chest. Nothing else exists. No one else exists.

Do I deserve this? Do I deserve you?

If only you'd remember everything I've done.

Rin's eyes fall shut as he rests his head against the other swimmer's hand, and with a sigh he turns until his lips press into his palm instead.]

... I trust you. [If he says he's happy and safe, if he promises he'll never be afraid... then Rin will believe. Back to opening his eyes, which by now are still glossed over, but surprisingly not overflowing with tears.] And... I'm sorry. For being complicated.

[Can't help it. The words come too naturally.]

[takenwithhim]

[Dolphins are forever more annoying than sharks. To many, yes, this back and forth would be extremely annoying. Sousuke’s only human so there are times when Rin’s emotional side gets under his skin and irritates him. Just as Rin most definitely gets frustrated with his shinki’s taciturn nature. It’s part of him and Sousuke accepts it. Rin has to work through this in his own way and if Sousuke’s going to be the perfect boyfriend, why would he demand Rin be anything other than Rin?

It's usually easier than trying to drag his stubborn best friend somewhere. They eve back and forth on this kind of stuff. Who’s better, why is that, and who doesn’t deserve who. In one way, it’s horribly sentimental and romantic. In another, it’s almost pathetic. Worth a silent laugh at himself. They can try all they like to change themselves, but in the end, they are who they are and Sousuke’s fallen for the Rin who is Rin. Trying to change him would be stupid. Why change something he likes? Especially when it’s embarrassingly similar to his own personality.

A gentle slide of relief wanders through his body as his touch manages to calm Rin down. A wonder Rin’s the romantic one when it’s Sousuke who says all the romantic lines (and never thinks for once they’re remotely romantic). But he really does want Rin to get it through his head that this isn’t about deserving or perfection. Sousuke may have things he fears, but he doesn’t ever want himself to be one of Rin’s. Fearing for his happiness, fearing for his safety, fearing for his satisfaction or trust, fearing for his love… Some of it’s hypocritical, he’ll admit that, but it doesn’t change the sincerity of his words.

You deserve everything I do. If I deserve you, then you deserve me. Right?

Sousuke breathes out gentle as Rin closes his eyes and nuzzles his face into the taller swimmer’s hand. A soft grunt slips free at the sensation of lips pressing to his palm, fingers twitching slightly from the mixture of tickle and tender. That’s stupidly romantic…]

Don’t apologize.

[That comes naturally as well, along with the gentle sag of shoulders and the tender, wry little smile appearing on Sousuke’s face. Rin knows the reality of their situation. Sousuke’s happiness, his safety, his fear, there’s no threat to them from Rin. If Rin says he’ll protect him, he’ll bring him happiness, he’ll calm his fears… Sousuke will believe that too. Finally, red eyes appear again, glassy rubies glistening above his palm, only one veiled by the maroon threads draping over it. He really is a beautiful, handsome young man…]

It’s no wonder I’m so taken with you…

[sharkmaid]

[Don't start with that here, bae. You don't even remember what a dolphin is! ... more specifically a certain dolphin, but anyway.

Knowing Sousuke's at peace with this helps settle the last of Rin's nerves until he's calm enough to finally maintain a more comfortable grip on his shinki's hand. He's less aware of the number of breaths he's been taking, less aware of every time he blinks or shifts his gaze from one spot on the floor to the other. The anxiety's bound to follow him no matter what, but at least he doesn't have to face it alone.

He's not sure when he decided to bring his hand up to hold Sousuke's in place, long fingers curling over his wrist and heel of his palm where the skin feels warmest. With all this talk and thinking of being together, relying on each other, supporting each other... he wants to make sure he has Sousuke with him at all. Sometimes he'll wake up in the middle of the night to check the space beside him for warmth. He won't fall back asleep unless he's positive he can see the sheets shifting with every breath. To feel his heartbeat at his fingertips, to hear his voice calling out his name from across the sakura grove... All those signs his best friend is still here, still with him... still alive one way or another.

He scoffs quietly, a puff of air brushing along the inside of his best friend's wrist. Taken with him... He says these things so easily. Rin doesn't respond, not right away at least, too busy rubbing his thumb along the juts of bone at Sousuke's knuckles, but eventually he finds his own way to keep the conversation going. Eyes lock, gaze quiet but firm. Fingers pull until they can guide Sousuke's own lower, past his neck, collarbone, chest-- Right here, he thinks. Right at the subtle curve in his waist.

It's just another place to touch and hold. Another point of contact to keep them connected.

I want to do it again.]

No wonder? [he asks, the look in his eyes deepening, a small laugh leaving his lips.] You're taken with how complicated I am?

[takenwithhim]

[Truth be told, being anxious about this isn’t going to help either of them; it’s obvious the attraction is there between them, their friendship runs deeper than a simple partnership, and they’ve done things that, frankly, normal “non-involved” people wouldn’t do together. As Rin’s grip on his hand settles into something more comfortable, Sousuke relaxes. There’ll still be plenty of trials and steps to overcome as they move forward, but for now, the biggest one—starting—is passed.

A gentle touch, fingertips brushing at the heel of his palm and over the tender skin of his wrist, and his pulse races. Just a simple connection and his body heats up. You do these kinds of things to me without even thinking about them… It’s been so long since his awakening, a wandering soul with no place to call home, no memories to stand on, no one to support him. And now… he wakes up beside a warm body every morning, falls asleep next to the gentle rise and fall of covers as Rin dozes in the bed, and lives with someone who’s gone from stranger to partner to best friend… and now to a lover. How many times has Sousuke lain awake at night, gazing at Rin and wondering at how all of this happened, that Rin would be… so perfect. For him. With him.

The puff of air makes his fingers twitch inward slightly and Sousuke breathes out in silent sensation as Rin’s thumb wanders over the grooves between his knuckles and caresses the hills above his fingers. Touching him like that again… Red eyes take hold of his teal and he’s suddenly aware that his hand’s been moved. Away from his shoulder and face, down over chest and ribs, until settling comfortable at the intimate curve of Rin’s waist. Where he takes hold in a smooth, almost-natural motion, cupping the area and gliding his fingers just shy of the other swimmer’s back.

A way to keep Rin close, where Sousuke wants him always.

He arches a brow at the question amid the little laugh, but only offers a smile and leans forward, forehead bumping against Rin’s in a playful contact.] That and everything else about you, Rin.

[Before tilting his head, ducking just slightly to meet his god's mouth with his own. A tender touch, nudging into his lips for a few moments before pressing into a proper kiss.]

[sharkmaid]

[He's been learning little by little these past few days about less obvious and more... intimate things between them. It's natural to catch onto tiny nuances with Sousuke (Rin wouldn't know him better than anyone if it was difficult), but those things are simple. Like a nervous tic or habit he still hasn't shed from childhood. Now he notices everything in between. The way he'll twitch if he touches his shoulders, those quiet breaths when he explores the shape of his hands, the different brand of softness that reaches his eyes whenever Rin's near...

Maybe it's strange, but... he likes that he can do those things for Sousuke. He likes being the only one who can, the only one who wants to.

What sort of things does Sousuke notice, he wonders? Hopefully nothing too embarrassing.

He's not expecting the forehead bump, but he's not against it by any means. He'll just... lean into it a little. With another laugh, another smile, a bit of an awkward shift with his feet because, wow, Sousuke didn't hesitate to pull him in closer. Didn't hesitate to say something so romantic either. One of these days he'll come up with something just as equally romantic to say and catch him off guard for once!]

Everything else--?

[He's about to ask exactly what "everything else" entails, but Sousuke's quick to interrupt, and Rin supposes he can't be too upset, considering he brought this upon himself. And anyway... with the warm lighting and the feel of the afternoon sun still on his back, doing something like this-- It feels appropriate. Necessary. Like they won't get another perfect chance.

Idiot... I guess I've got no choice but to be taken with you too.

The kiss lingers, still and quiet for a few seconds more, until Rin breaks off to lean forward, lips pressed to his best friend's jaw.]

You don't have any other questions to ask over the network today, do you?

[His way of saying "You'd better not be busy."]

[takenwithhim]

[For all his laidback calmness, Sousuke’s sharp. He picks things up silently, is able to understand what Rin wants or thinks without saying a word between them, knows what bothers him and what makes him happy. Maybe most would assume that’s the natural course of things since they live together, but Sousuke knows it’s more than that. His knowledge of Rin, his understanding, goes deeper than just partnership. He pays attention, because he wants to know more and more about him. He likes being the one to do that, the one who understands Rin more than anyone else. Call him selfish, but it’s true.

The way his tongue slides over his teeth, tip skimming right along his gums, when he’s itching for the urge to bite. How his eyes glaze up when he’s touched, only to turn into an averted gaze and a mumbled lie that means exactly the opposite of what comes from his mouth. The hitch of his breath and the small hike of his shoulders when Sousuke says something or touches Rin somewhere that makes his heart flutter… Little things like that. He’s noticed them more and more as their relationship evolves into this more intimate, personal connection. Embarrassing, perhaps, but that’s something he’ll gladly endure.

As Rin leans into the gentle connection, meets his lips with his own, Sousuke feels his insides melt a little. A warm rush drags down his spine and makes his skin constrict over his face and neck. It feels good, the touch and connection between them. Even with the laugh and smile breaking the kiss, he can’t help the pure pleasure at being able to… just kiss him whenever he wants to. A small breath of a laugh answers his god’s and Sousuke leans back after those few seconds they’re connected together. He’s about to try and answer that unspoken question, but--]

Ngh-!

[Rin decides to be evil and that same, warm mouth is on his jaw, teasing the tender skin and murmuring a sultry, silly question that has his blood shooting through his veins. Of course he’d ask such a thing, getting Sousuke hot and bothered by the romantic implications.]

No.

[Even if he did, this would ensure he doesn’t remember any of them.]

[sharkmaid]

[He's never noticed it before, now personal they've always been with each other, much more personal than they can be with anyone else. Well, maybe he did notice, but never quite this... closely. There's something to be said for their closeness, this... exclusive relationship he can't compare anything to. It makes Rin wonder more and more about home, about the possibility of all this happening there too. If he never left Sano, if Sousuke never injured himself on the road to glory, if he never trained in Australia, if he stayed where he belonged at his best friend's side...

Or could this happen anywhere, at any time? He's reminded of the old stories he used to gobble up as a kid. The ones about red strings around pinky fingers or gods who came together once every thousand years to be with the ones they love. Those sort of things... He wonders if he and Sousuke can be a part of that. A part of destiny.

He smiles at himself for thinking something so immature and at first he worries he's surprised Sousuke when he responds with that choked sound. But of course it isn't that, is it? Hm... He might be letting himself get too carried away. Instinct tells him to apologize, to back off and quietly scold himself for moving too quickly. It's all Eros' fault, his god nature-- No, it's almost insulting to blame it on that. He wants to believe he's doing this because he wants to. Because it's fun. ... Because he likes those choked sounds more than he'd like to admit.

So he doesn't move away. Not yet. And judging by that spike of heat resonating from his shinki's heart to his own, Sousuke doesn't want him to anyway.]

Turns out Sousuke can be cute, huh?

[A quiet snicker... mostly because he can't decide if he's genuinely teasing or genuinely trying to be seductive. Laughing it off makes it less embarrassing.]

Were you about to say something?

[takenwithhim]

[It’d taken a while, both the trust and understanding, but Sousuke’s come to realize for a while now that Rin is the one person he feels the most comfortable with being personal around. It’s a strange paradox; Rin is both the one person Sousuke can’t stand to see him at his weakest, and yet Rin is also the one person he trusts to help him through such weakness. Because Rin understands him the most, because Sousuke knows he can be open with Rin despite the larger swimmer’s tendency to be so closed. Even if he has little to compare it to, no one will ever be to him what Rin is. Sometimes he wonders if the “him” Rin knew before is the same… or different… and quickly shoves the idea away each time.

Maybe they’d be like this no matter what circumstance they found themselves in. If Sousuke had been the god and Rin his amnesiac shinki, would they become this close? If they were suddenly thrust into a strange city with new rules and lived separately, would they become this close even still? If they came from two vastly different walks of life, would what they had remain strong all the same? There’s no way to know, and frankly, he’d rather not experience those questioning wonders. But inside, Sousuke thinks… yes… Yes, they would be together. No matter what. He’s a little too theoretical to throw lots in with fate or destiny, but he’s not blind or dismissive to the notions either. If he’s eternally to be part of Rin’s life, Sousuke has no problem with it.

That mouth is still on his jaw and there’s a faint pink rising under his eye, glowing warm beneath his tan skin.] Oy… [Rin’s doing this on purpose, and he’s enjoying it to boot. Jerk… The best jerk he could ever have in his life. The heat inside only increases the longer Rin’s lips and teeth wander over his skin, scraping at the slope of bone so close to his neck, moist breath puffing words over his fle—

…]

Urusei… Don’t say stuff like that…

[Calling him ‘cute’ and snickering like a dorky cupid. The flush doesn’t get any lighter, quite the opposite in fact, and Sousuke shivers as another run of sensation ripples down his spine. Teasing or seductive, Rin’s being both. And he’s still got the nerve to laugh. Sousuke offers a quiet “hmph” at the question and tilts his head a little, exposing more of his neck.]

I was… got distracted and forgot.

[It’s half true.]

[sharkmaid]

[He wishes he can answer all those questions without repercussions someday. It’d be worth it to tell Sousuke more about their past, more about his own past more specifically. The person he was when he was alive, the dreams he had, the challenges he faced. There’s differences here and there, but... Sousuke is Sousuke and Rin’s more than satisfied with that. The missing memories leave room for new ones, and he’s grateful to even be part of them to begin with. So maybe wishing for answers doesn’t make much sense. When he can look forward to a future he never dreamed of, brand new and full of possibilities... The person Sousuke wants to be won’t rely on the past. He can only move on. It’s his choice. His freedom.

And if his choice involves being here, being with Rin– Rin has no problem with that either.

He laughs again, more like a giggle this time, because he knows he’s testing Sousuke when there’s no real threat. He can’t push him away, though he’s more than welcome to try. If he could, he would’ve. And he hasn’t. So that’s something for Rin to be proud of, isn’t it?]

I already did.

[And if doing so grants him better access to all those sensitive spots, there’s no sense in stopping. He follows almost immediately, neck dipping for his lips to slip down, catching on the sharp edge of his partner’s jaw one more time before he can just barely graze his teeth over a bed of raw nerves. His teeth start to itch. One shift and it’ll be easy. A single breath and he can makes the itching stop... Instead, Rin controls himself (for now), the damp, plush skin of tongue and lips leaving more delicate touches over that single spot. Exploring, mouthing, tasting. He’s not really sure what he’s doing, only that it feels nice... and it’ll have to do if he doesn’t want his whole mouth to start itching next.]

Not distracted enough for this though.

[takenwithhim]

[Someday they’ll reach the point where all the questions swimming around in their private seas could finally spill out into their conjoined ocean, answered and free among all the rest they already share together. Rin keeps the secrets for Sousuke’s safety. While he doesn’t like the fact they have to do this, he understands the protection and accepts it. Because even without his memories, he’s with Rin and that’s more important than what happened in the past. And he’s able to make new memories too… so that’s nothing to be upset about. From here on out, it’s what he wants to be, with the same freedom to take what life’s given him, the same as Rin, and move forward with the freedom he has. Rin sees to that with everything he does… and there’s no way Sousuke can be anything be appreciative of it.

What he does with that freedom, however, is to remain here, beside his best friend. Where he knows he belongs. He doesn’t need memories to know that’s the truth.

A brow arches at the giggle of a laugh. Sounds like Rin’s a little kid again. Could tease him, but he holds his tongue; the sound’s too stupidly precious to want to ruin his elation. It’d be easy to shove him away and “pout” off to the side for the teasing thrown his way, but doing anything “away” from Rin is very counterproductive to his desires right now. Hmph, and of course Rin understands this. Look at that smug light in his eyes. He huffs at the retort and clunks the side of his foot against Rin’s.]

Baka…

[He’s not going to stop, is he. Sousuke’s breath catches in a higher-pitched noise as lips begin to descend his neck, tracing the edge of his jaw with the points of those unique, shark teeth. They scrape, with all the fineness of blades, sharp and pointed drawing those lines of both hot and cold over his skin. His nerves bloom raw beneath the touch instantly and the strong cords of Sousuke’s neck flex beneath the tan of his flesh, a swallow dipping the column of his throat. That itch is there… he can practically sense it. The heat of his breath, the tempting indent of his skin beneath Rin’s teeth, the drag of his lips over where he’s scraped him already. There’s always that thrill of danger when Rin does this. One single shift, one flex of muscle, and that desire will sate. Shark bite.

But he doesn’t. The tension in Sousuke’s body wilts slightly as teeth trade for the plush of his tongue pressing to the damp skin. Delicate and wet, sliding over the marked spot until the taller boy’s normally-controlled breath comes out in a tremoring rush. Quiet, shaking, and obviously ignited. Exploring him, tasting the faint sheen of salt and the ever-present tinge of biting chlorine on his skin. Once again, neither of them are sure what they’re doing or where this is going… but Sousuke likes it. That much is certain.]

Hn, this is the distraction.

[Long fingers suddenly nudge the barest of touches at the back of Rin’s neck, hinting at their arrival. Just long enough for that electric fizzle between his fingertips and Rin’s skin to make contact. Then presses forward, smoothing the pads of skin and the blunt edges of his fingernails over Rin’s neck. Up to where smooth flesh meets the maroon strands of his hairline. And further, combing into the tresses of silken hair and massaging his scalp. Until Sousuke can fold his fingers and palm, cupping the back of his boyfriend’s head in the cradle of his hand. Holding him close, possessively… lovingly.]

[sharkmaid]

[If Sousuke wanted him to stop, he could have easily made him do so a long time ago. Instead, he’s standing here, receptive to everything Rin’s given him so far, which leaves Rin wondering what’s going on through his head. Is he really enjoying himself or only doing this because he feels obligated to? Because Rin started it and he could be kicked in the shin if he tries to back away. He chooses not to read into it so much, and with those higher pitched breaths in his ear and stiffening flesh on his tongue he keeps up with the same back and forth exploring, tense at first then eventually soft and more confident once that irritating itch dies down.

He likes it. Rin likes it. Whatever it is... it’s working.

It seems he’s distracted himself in getting carried away though. Another lick here, a light kiss there... An electric shock running down his spine once fingers find his neck. Where he’s sensitive, where he’s just learned he’s sensitive... The journey further up has Rin shutting his eyes, a warm sigh fanning over the damp patch of skin he leaves behind. Funny how being held can nearly bring him to his knees. Must be the romance. Possessive... and loving as it is.

He ducks his head to press his forehead into Sousuke’s shoulder, wanting to compose himself before he moves any faster. It’s still fairly bright outside. The sun’s only just started to set. ... And they’re still standing in the damn foyer. Even if they’re alone, he doesn’t feel as if they’re private just yet.]

We should go upstairs. [Or anywhere. Just so long as he has a place to steady himself properly.] ... You can distract me more there.

[takenwithhim]

[Then obviously he doesn’t want to stop. All of this, the things going on between them, he moves forward with them, no hesitation (well, maybe a little hesitation as his brain comes back), just a desire to remain close to Rin no matter what direction their relationship goes. Perhaps if Rin says something about the doubts in his mind, Sousuke would put him straight, but there’s only silence and he says nothing to it. Even though he knows Rin’s probably wondering about something in his head. For now, he simply has to let his actions speak for him and Rin can draw his own conclusions. (It really is arguable as to “who” started “it” here or there.) But right now, it’s moving, without stop, and Sousuke has no intention of pausing for them to ask stupid questions they already know the answer to.

A warm breath is his reward to escalating his fingers along Rin’s neck, tingling the damp skin beneath his god’s teeth and lips. The touch is at once icy and scalding, enough to draw another groan from the larger swimmer’s mouth as he leans into the touch as best he can in this position. Yet he doesn’t stop his own touches, carding his fingers through Rin’s hair, combing the maroon strands and cupping over the curve of his scalp with mild grazing of blunt nails. Enough to leave his best friend shivering and… oh… he’s actually almost buckling at the knees? Hn… maybe they should move before this goes further…

Sousuke sucks in his breath slightly as Rin’s forehead settles against his shoulder, the firm slope of muscle thickening beneath his shirt before relaxing again. Che, will he forever be sensitive there? Sousuke can’t deny it feels good, but there’s something else there, something else to the sensitivity of his shoulders. Rin probably knows, but they can’t talk about it. That’s fine. He pushes the thoughts to the side as Rin finally breeches the same ideas going through Sousuke’s mind.

A gentle breath of amusement slips against Rin’s ear and Sousuke gives him a light tug of an embrace.] Aa. Sounds good. Do you want me to carry you?

[sharkmaid]

[So what if he’s almost buckling at the knees? Don’t mock him for it! It’s been a long day. A long few days. And they haven’t done anything like this since that one night. S-so it’s only right he’s grown oversensitive and probably more expectant than he should be for Sousuke’s touch. It’s different, after all, the way Sousuke touches him. Firm but gentle, moving slow enough to memorize the smallest details but fast enough to keep Rin’s interest. He’s certainly come a long way from angrily pinning him against doors or keeping his back turned with disinterest. No, Sousuke isn’t what Rin would call “touchy,” but in his own way this suits him. And... he loves it. This attention, the affection, the time and effort put into making them work.

He easily melts into the embrace as it happens, easing all his weight into Sousuke’s chest, then it’s his turn to scoff in amusement. As if he’d let him do something like that. Even if he can, even if it’d be the easiest thing in the universe for him to do... With his forehead still pressed to Sousuke’s shoulder, Rin falls still and quiet. Beneath his clothes and skin, there’s nothing to hurt his best friend anymore. He hasn’t seen him lose rhythm in the water, hasn’t heard the familiar scrape and tug of elastic in the mornings... Only a name rests here now. The one Rin gave him, the one he’ll always have until this world can set him free. Sometimes it mocks him. Curses him. Forces him to stare and remember what used to be. What could be again if he’s careless with Sousuke’s safety.

... this is how he’s meant to be. Touching, holding, standing strong. The strongest person Rin’s ever known.

Lifting his head, eyes shut, he presses his mouth to the same spot on his boyfriend’s neck as before.]

Aa. I do.

[I like knowing nothing hurts you anymore.]

[takenwithhim]

[He’s a romantic fairy tale prince, isn’t he. Sousuke won’t ride him too hard for it, but it wouldn’t be him if he didn’t tease Rin at least a little. Still, it has been a draining few days, keeping all this bottled inside and now getting all of that rushing out in a relieved flow. That the result is Rin being overstimulated to his touch, however, is an interesting side effect. He’s going to have to keep that in mind, though it’s almost completely doubtful he’ll ever want to go so long without Rin again. Without his words, so lively and warm he can’t help but want to hear them over and over, his touch, so deliberate and playful that maps out his skin and body and admires it all at the same time. Rin’s always been different from him, from patiently watching over him to expression all his passion in his determination to teach Sousuke how to swim and arguing with him over their differing opinions. Never rude, never disrespectful. Rin’s far more physically affectionate than Sousuke, but that’s simply part of his charm… a perfect facet of his best friend.

Something Sousuke will never hope to change between them. The embrace is a culmination of so many things, from affection to protectiveness to simple enjoyment of having Rin close like this. He supports his boyfriend as he leans his full weight into his chest, arm fitting around Rin’s shoulder in a smooth motion. This person who’s become more than a partner, more than a companion… someone who’s become his best friend. The person he feels the most comfortable around. The person who understands him the best. For everything Rin’s gone through in this world, he remains firmly resolute to his own path and rhythm. He’s the one person Sousuke finds himself never wanting to fail. The one person he wants to be with… The strongest person Sousuke knows.

Lips find his neck and Sousuke shivers at the gentle touch, but a soft, tender smile appears when the answer breathes over his skin. Warm and soft.

Without further question, the larger swimmer nods and moves his body, taking time so Rin knows where he’s going. An arm around his boyfriend’s neck and shoulder, legs bending to brace himself as he fits his other arm behind Rin’s knees. The question might have been teasing, but once Rin’s affirmed his choice, the answer and result flow like second nature. With a little pull and nudge, he has the other swimmer lean back and drop, falling into Sousuke’s strong arms as he swiftly stands and pulls, scooping Rin into a bridal carry. Arms wrapped around his shoulders and tucked under his folded knees, drawing him close to his chest.

His best friend. The most important person in Sousuke’s world.]

Let’s go.

[And steps forward, moving to the bedroom.]

[sharkmaid]

[Didn't expect him to actually go through with picking him up... but this very well could be the first and only time Rin will let this happen, so might as well enjoy it while it lasts. Anyway, there's no one around to see them, so what's the harm in being hoisted up and carried away at least once? He'll probably look back on this later and laugh. Or cry. Or punch Sousuke in the arm once he gets over this fluttering feeling in his chest. Until then, he'll enjoy the moment and let himself be carried away with it... figuratively and literally.

That isn't to say he's used to this though and as soon as his feet leave the ground he's at a loss with where to put his arms. He flails a bit, indecisive between his lap, his sides, his lap again... Ultimately he goes for the most obvious place: around Sousuke's neck. It's an awkward, sideways embrace, but it's stable and comfortable... and he has all the freedom in the world to rest his chin on his elbow so the other swimmer won't have to watch him starting to furiously blush like some helpless maiden. Yeah, yeah, he's letting you do this, but don't get used to it!]

... You agreed so easily.

[he mutters, thumb absently brushing at the bit of skin he was teasing at before.]

Don't tell me you've been wanting to carry me like this all along.

[takenwithhim]

[Hey, it’s not like the chance to pick Rin up comes along so freely so regularly. Sousuke’s thrown the other teen over his shoulder or twice before (not that Rin’s that much smaller or lighter than him) and carted him off to get dumped in the pool or just swung around for a bit. But that always gives Rin prime access to smack him on the back or punch him in the butt. This… this is probably the only time Sousuke’s going to get the chance to pick Rin up like this. So of course he takes it. especially because Rin invited him to.

Whatever punches or pouts or embarrassment comes later, he’ll deal with it. Obviously point out that Rin asked for it, but whatever.

Sousuke tugs his head back, expecting the flail of arms, and then ducks his head forward to try and loop one of Rin’s arms around his neck. Jeeze, for a romantic guy, he has no clue. Something they’ve established plenty of times already since they started, well, all of this. As Rin’s arm slips around his neck in that strange, sideways embrace, he leans up a bit, straightening his neck and rounding his shoulders to get comfortable. Yeah, he knows Rin’s flushing as red as a tomato. He’ll at least be nice enough not to point it out.]

You said you wanted me to.

[A quiet murmur without hesitation. Don’t blame this on him, bae. You had all the opportunity not to make this literal. Maybe you’re the one that’s secretly wanted this.

Sousuke shivers a little as that thumb rubs along the still-tender area and he focuses on moving down the hall with his arms loaded.]

All right, I won’t tell you.

[sharkmaid]

Yeah, but I didn’t think you’d actually go through with it.

[So what if he secretly wanted this? It’s innocent, isn’t it? At least he’s not asking for piggyback rides. ... It is nice though, way nicer than he would have expected, and halfway up the stairs he ends up shutting his eyes, feeling about ready to drift off to sleep. Down the hall and he heaves a quiet sigh, shoulders rising, chest warm, arms still secured where they belong around Sousuke’s neck. Every step matches up with his heartbeat. One, two, three... Down this same hall they wandered down together so many months ago, Sousuke in his legskins and Rin trying his hardest not to dissolve into more tears. The same hall they walk through together every morning, every night, amidst paintings of seascapes and far away lands they’ll never see. ... Briefly he thinks about wanting to take Sousuke away from here overnight. He wants to explore the world, escape responsibility, introduce his best friend to the life he’s been missing outside these castle walls.

I promised I’d wait for you... There’s so many things I want you to see.

Lifting his head, Rin tightens his embrace just a touch. He is here. Breathing, speaking, alive. ... He almost wants to never let go.]

You’re impossible. [he mutters softly again, this time pushing his hand up the back of Sousuke’s neck to rake his fingers through his hair. He doesn’t want to let go.] ... Next time, I’m carrying you.

[takenwithhim]

Liar.

[Rin knows him too well to think such a comment had no chance of getting acted upon. Sousuke’s pretty sure his best friend’s got a secret little desire to be picked up and carried like a bride (or a princess), but he’s not about to risk getting a Hell’s Pinch with Rin’s hands so close to his neck and chest. So long as he’s the only one that gets to pick Rin up like this, however… Sousuke glances down once they reach the top of the stairs and can’t help a tender smile when he sees the other boy’s eyes closed. Rin has a pretty sleeping face; he looks so peaceful and beautiful at the same time, none of the day’s cockiness or excitement shining bright or those clouded moments of concern. It’s a brief moment (because Sousuke doesn’t get to watch him sleep for long) where his best friend’s simply at rest. Still for once. The larger boy keeps quiet, willing to let Rin sleep if he really ends up doing so. Heck, he’ll wander the halls (maybe not on purpose) to lull him in his slumber if it happens that way…

This hallway brings back memories for him as well. He’ll never forget the first time he saw it, following behind a young man he didn’t know but had just met and accepted as his partner. Knowing there were tears and heaviness hidden where he couldn’t see “behind” Rin’s strong back. The cling of his legskins and the cool air on his naked upper body felt different inside, the plush carpet soothing beneath his bare feet. But that remains the only really heavy memory of this hall. The rest are made of up morning conversations, yelling each other’s names during a race, quiet murmurs as they move to their room for the night. Noting the paintings on the wall, pausing to look at the sakura petals through the arching windows, talking about what if’s and wonders.

What would we be like if we met in another place under different circumstances? Would we be like this? Or would we be how you remember us…

Sousuke breaks from his thoughts as the arms around his neck tighten and he glances down at Rin again, teal eyes gentle, but a little deep from the flow of his mind. The same tender smile returns to his face at the words, accepting his “impossibility” with a casual dip of his head. Rin’s not one to talk about being impossible. But he spares the redhead the comment, since those fingers are raking through the short crop of his hair up the back of his head. It brings a shiver to his spine again.

But then he has to go and say that.]

Bphht--! Hahaha!

[… don’t kill him, please?]

[sharkmaid]

[Part of him wants to tell Sousuke to keep walking and take the more "scenic" route to their bedroom, just so he can enjoy being carried for a few minutes longer, but he's feeling forgiving and chooses to behave. No kicking, no jostling around. Just a nice quiet walk... where he's being carried bridal style with his hand in his best friend's hair and wow this would probably look stupid to anyone peeking in from the outside. Well, Gou always did say mushy feelings have a tendency to make people do stupid things.

Like suggesting to pick up his much taller, much heavier and dumb best friend.

Rin frowns deeply before the laughter even starts, expecting it straight away, then without hesitation reaches around with both hands to grab either side of Sousuke's face, palms squishing his cheeks together as if that'll get him to stop.

Quit ruining the moment!]

Oi, I'm serious! It wouldn't be hard, you know! I've carried way heavier than you!

[takenwithhim]

[If anyone wants to try climbing up a story or two and peek in through the window of a sprawling castle with only two people living inside it on the off chance of spotting them the moment they walk by… good luck. Sousuke also has that little urge to simply keep walking. It’s nice to carry Rin around, for both the immediate comfort and enjoyment and the latter ammo for future teasing. But also… that hand in his hair… If Rin keeps doing that stroking, rubbing, scratching thing, heck, Sousuke’ll keep walking until his legs fall off. He gently tightens his grip on Rin’s shoulders, holding him a bit closer. Romantic…

You know, before he starts laughing, that is.

Really, sometimes his best friend could be such a dork. Sure, he’s not doubting it! Sousuke’s seen Rin bench some pretty heavy loads and he’s got no doubts the other athlete could shove him or tackle him around if he wants to. But the very idea of Rin carrying him around bridal style? Hah! Yeah right. (And this has nothing to do with the fact Sousuke’d be utterly mortified to be in such an embarrassing position.)

Smack! And now he’s doing a fish face, some smothered laughter coming out in little putts. This is not a flattering face at all. Least it quells his laughter pretty quickly. And ruin the moment? Rin, you’re just making another moment right here! Besides, you already ruined it by thinking out loud about carrying him, right?]

On the bench, yes. Not across the room or up the stairs.

[sharkmaid]

[Hmph. He knew picking a dog for his shinki form was a good move. Not that he knew Sousuke would enjoy the whole head petting thing before, but, you know... he would've guessed it! Such a lazy guy. Rin won't be surprised if he's thinking about taking a nap right now in the middle of this hallway. Still, even with that in mind, Rin doesn't let up on his ministrations, even holds on a little tighter when Sousuke does so around his shoulders--

But someone has to once again ruin a perfectly romantic moment! Yes, it's Sousuke's fault and Rin won't hear another word about it!

Squish squish. That's right, fish face, take that! With an arrogant, angry smirk, Rin pinches his best friend's cheeks this time, giving them a couple tugs.]

I'm gonna make you eat those words. Take a look here!

[He'll only stop tugging with one hand so he can drop his arm and flex it right in front of Sousuke's face. Look at these biceps! These triceps! There's no way he worked to get them this toned and perfect so he can just bench press!]

It'll be easy.

[takenwithhim]

[Oh so you did pick his form! He knew it! (Actually he knows Rin had no choice in the matter.) But it’s impossible to deny those fingers in his hair don’t end up relaxing him and making him want to feel more. He’s dozed off plenty of times with his head in his best friend’s lap, those fingers wandering through his hair, book flopped open on his chest like a deflated tent. A nap would be nice, if he weren’t carrying the most precious/prized load in his arms. To the bedroom, to note, but still, carrying none the less.

(Actually, they’ve probably passed the bedroom by now; Sousuke’s just wandering.)

Still Rin’s fault for ruining the mood with his boast. Can’t argue with that one, shark boy. You piped up first.

And now it’s gotten him in trouble with these hands squishing his face into these undignified expressions. From fish faces to… oh hell, not the—tug. Sousuke glowers in a pathetic way with his lower face half stretched out. So terrifying. But seriously, ow… easy on his cheeks, Rin. And don’t pinch too hard; he might drop you!

Oh, cheek relief. Sousuke blinks at the sudden shove, twitching his head back as Rin jams his arm right in front of his face. He looks (longer and more intently than he should) at the swell of bicep and triceps bulging under Rin’s lighter skin. Damn… That’s as attractive as always. He still doesn’t give in though.

Though he does lean forward and lazily bite the top of Rin’s bicep, teeth and lips molding to the curve of muscle for a moment before bite turns to retreating lick and kiss. Don’t think he doesn’t know how to get you fired up, babe.]

I’m tempted to let you try…