Heaven's BBS | Text

[deniles]

Posted: 2 April 2016
From: Niles

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I've had someone take my shirt and set it on fire.
Now, I'm sure no one wants to see someone, like me, walk around with no shirt on.

At least, that's what my god tells me.

So, I'm buying myself a shirt today and I need an opinion.

What do you think of this shirt? Just to tide me over until I find something better. Simply looking for honest opinions.

[ooc: Link is mildly nsfw]

Comments

[sweetdeath]

Do you like economics or something?

[That's like the kind of shirt Tatsumi would think was funny.

Maybe.

Wait, is that "private sector" bit dirty?]

[deniles]

I like growth.

Let's put it like that.

[sweetdeath]

[Okay, yeah. Definitely a dirty joke.]

There's got to be a better shirt choice than that.

[Like, maybe one that warns people before they have to think about it too hard....]

[deniles]

Is this one better?

[THAT ONE IS DEFINITELY NSFW THOUGH]

[sweetdeath]

Yeah, that's more like I was thinking.

I mean, pick whatever shirt you want, though.

[deniles]

I was hoping for some help, though.

Maybe someone to come help me pick some out. My god is kind of busy today.

[sweetdeath]

You're seriously looking for somebody to shop for dirty T-shirts with you?

[deniles]

Is there a better way to spend an afternoon?

[sweetdeath]

I can think of a few.

Oh yeah, I'm Tsuzuki, by the way. Tsuzuki Asato. Nice to meet you.

[deniles]

...Oh can you now? What might those be?

Tsuzuki? I'll remember that.

[sweetdeath]

I'm not that big on clothes shopping, so it's a long list! You sure you want the whole thing?

And you're Niles, right?

[deniles]

Start from the bottom.

I am.

[sweetdeath]

Afternoon tea?

[He's starting to get the feeling that this is an innuendo, too. What to do about it? Well -- he'll stick with playing dumb. That probably won't get him in trouble. Or in too much trouble, anyway.]

[deniles]

Oh, I see.

I like afternoon tea as well. Preferably a private tea.

[He'll make it point blank what he was talking about.]

[sweetdeath]

Sorry, I'm not big on private tea. Bad experiences! You know.

[There's the Earl, and his weird invitations that Tsuzuki can't always find a good excuse to dodge... and the way he comes up with way too many excuses to lean right over Tsuzuki's shoulder. Or put an invisible hand on his leg. It's creepy.]

I was thinking one of those fancy teas at a hotel! With all the desserts, and the little sandwiches and stuff.

[deniles]

Oh, I see. You like to be in the public eye with someone. You seem like that sort of person.

[sweetdeath]

What, you mean a guy who dates first?

[Right! Ha ha! No dirty little secrets here! Also, shit, he really should've seen all the innuendo coming when he saw that shirt.]

[deniles]

Of course. 'Dates'. I understand.

[And he's not making it any better.]

[sweetdeath]

[...is this a guy or a really aggressive girl? Man, the tough thing about text is Tsuzuki has no idea. Either way, it's kind of creeping him out.]

Uh, yeah? That's what I said.

[deniles]

And what do you do on these 'dates'?

[He's whatever you want him to be~]

[sweetdeath]

Depends on who I'm going with.

If you're trying to ask me out, sorry, I have to wash my hair.

[deniles]

...

You have the worst excuses. Honestly.

Have you tried saying no? Or do you consider that too easy? For a simpleton, easy should be better.

[sweetdeath]

That was a no. Come on, it's an old joke!

[And his jokes are definitely funny! And not lame in the least!

(Okay, so they're a little lame.)]

[deniles]

Clearly, old man. Is your mind going too?

[old man old man OLD MAN.]

[sweetdeath]

Look, if you got it, you don't get to complain about me not being clear enough!

[He's not even complaining about the old man thing.

... He may be developing a mental image of Niles as a petulant teenage girl, though.]