BBS | Video

[onerous]

Posted: 13 July. Evening
From: Ixtab

[Yuri almost never shows her face on the network, literally or in text. She prefers to lurk and read, but she knows this is the fastest and most effective way to reach a lot of people.]

Has anyone-- [She begins, and then stops, gaze lowering a moment. It's a question she shouldn't have to ask. She knows he's gone, can feel it, but maybe he's not gone entirely. Maybe they just moved him to a new god, again. Maybe there's still hope.

So she takes a breath, sighs, and tries again.] Has anyone seen Hakkai? His phone's disconnected. And... I can't feel him anymore... But I thought, maybe, he'd just gone to another god, or... [She makes a helpless gesture and shrugs, shaking her head. 'I don't know,' she seems to be saying.]

If not then I'm afraid he's probably-- Gone. Entirely. [And damn if that doesn't absolutely gut her to say. She's always been good at masking her emotions, but she closes her eyes here and takes a breath, giving herself away entirely to just how badly it effects her.]

...Thanks.

Comments

[bussounoshima]

[Her first thought? "Fuck." Her second? "Well, it took them long enough."]

... If he had just gotten another name, you would still be able to feel him.

[Fuck. Fuck fuck fuck. She should have known. Now she's left with fucking Gojyo and Dokugakuji of all people.]

[onerous]

I thought maybe they'd taken him from me entirely to hand him off to someone worse. It seems like something they'd do.

Usually it's his gods that get taken away, but this time... [She trails off, resting her elbow on the table and her head briefly in her hand.] Things were going so well...

[bussounoshima]

[Were they? Well, they were certainly going better, Sharak supposes. For a couple of days. A decent record, for the Saiyuki cast.]

If he's in a position to be aware of it, he'll probably be feeling quite smug they finally went for him instead. [Hakkai was working on being a Good Shinki but bad egos are hard to break.] Are you all right, Yuri?

[onerous]

[Yuri kind of--laughs. A little, shaking her head in amusement.] Somehow, that kind of makes me feel better. He'd probably be asking 'What took them so long?'

[Is she alright? That's...] Yes. [Pause.] No. [Yuri shakes her head and sighs.] I mean, I will be. I have to be, eventually. But right now, at this moment... I'm just...

[She's not making any sense, she realizes, but she can't figure out how to articulate it all. Which is probably telling in and of itself. Her shoulders slump.] No.

Private

[bussounoshima]

... There's nothing wrong with that.

[Sharak sits down on the floor and switches their conversation to private. There's nothing being said they really need to keep secret, but it's not something the public needs to listen in on either.]

Being upset is a natural reaction. If you're feeling sad or angry or lonely, you shouldn't try to suppress it. Let it run it's course.

Private until further notice

[onerous]

I should... cry, but... I'm not capable of that. [Which feels bad, man. She's sure a good cry would certainly help her out, but she just can't form the tears.]

And if I can't do that at least, then I want to do something, but... I can't think of what I could do to be helping either. Just moving on seems wrong too, after all Hakkai's done. Not just for me, but nearly everyone knows him or knows of him.

[bussounoshima]

You don't have to cry. There's no "right" way to express how you're feeling. You don't have to move on right away either.

[Seriously, it's been less than 24 hours. They can mourn him a little longer than that.]

Take another day or two to deal with your emotions in whatever way feels comfortable to you. Then think about what you'll do next.

[onerous]

[Yuri's quiet a moment before taking a breath and slowly exhaling. She'd been getting a little irrational in her initial panic and grief, she supposes.]

...With him gone, that just leaves you and Gojyo and his brother as the people left from your word, doesn't it? I wonder if this place has it out for you guys. [It's-- sort of a joke? Yuri smiles slightly, sympathetic]

If you need anything...?

[bussounoshima]

It had it out for us when we were brought here.

[Sharak puts her phone down on the floor, the camera turned up to show the edge of a stone pillar and a clear, star-filled sky. There's the sound of rustling fabric, probably a sign of Sharak messing around with her robes.]

Just because we were all from the same world, it doesn't mean we were all friends. [She hadn't known most of the group present when she'd arrived, as much as they could be called that. There'd been so many of them, compared to their numbers now.]

You don't need to worry about me.

[The sound of a lighter clicking, the light of a flame just out of frame. After a few seconds, the stars are obscured by a puff of smoke from Sharak's cigarette.]