Heaven's BBS | Text

[redotiertwo]

From: Davesprite
Date: July 2nd

alright now that shits calmed down after last weeks spectacular and unplanned bonfire night
time to get to the real crux of the issue here
by which i of course mean vacation talk

like come the fuck on people
we were all over the world
where are all the shitty tourist stories
scandalous and weird pantheon relationships unveiled
is zeus still knocking up everything with a pulse or has he gone modern with the rest of us
or if youre not the shittalking type then what was the most fucking awesome shit you encountered on your soul searching journey to your homeland
or your gods homeland depending
there has been a grave lack of talk about this and i for one will not stand for it

Comments

[timeshields]

You're not going to start?

[redotiertwo]

if i started in the main post then wed be setting bars
having people worry whether their stories fit the must be this crazy to enter requirements

off the top of my head i did get chased around by some holy cats so that was
something
probably an honor but its kinda hard to tell

[timeshields]

You do seem birdlike.
Best to take it as a compliment, after all they're holy cats.

[redotiertwo]

its shocking isnt it
that the guy with wings and feathers and talons seems birdlike
i mean i know its probably some majestic high praise like being adopted by a cat even if that cat happens to be an asshole
but having claws stuck in my ass is always gonna be kind of a sticking point

[timeshields]

What an honor. Being attacked by a cat.
What high praise.

[clothes_make_the_man]

Well, I did find a lot of new clothing inspiration in India.

[redotiertwo]

so should i expect to see you rocking some of it the next time some big event goes down

[clothes_make_the_man]

Possibly for Obon. I've been too busy to have it ready for Tanabata. But speaking of which, I've finished your outfit from before if you'd like to come and pick it up.

[redotiertwo]

oh nice
yeah i can do a driveby sometime and grab it
with all this intense tanabata preparation happening though youre probably gonna want to make sure you get some shuteye beforehand
wouldnt want to miss the shenanigans

[clothes_make_the_man]

You're welcome to stop by whenever you like. But you're right - I should try to get some rest. Just as soon as father's birthday party is over.

Text - From: Kairi

[pure_radiantics]

I got dressed up by some nymphs! And scolded one who stole my friend's book :D

[redotiertwo]

wow what a fucking rude nymph
arent they tree people shouldnt they be offended by books even being a thing
you know
what with how paper is made

[pure_radiantics]

Oh, maybe. I just know that they were trying to play a joke on him. And it's way too important to him for that to be funny. But I helped get it back!

[redotiertwo]

still kind of a dick move
and still raises all kinds of existential questions about nymphs and paper
good to hear you all pitched in for the storybook happy ending though

[pure_radiantics]

You all? It was just me helping Senri though... I'm sorry if I confused you, Davesprite.

Actually can I call you DS? Or do you have another nickname?

[heptagram]

I'd never been to Egypt until that day. I'm not sure if that makes me a crappy Thoth or not.

[redotiertwo]

hey no
i mean i dont know you so i cant really speak on whether youre otherwise a crappy thoth
but i dont think more than like a handful of the gods who arent japanese had visited their godly stomping grounds before this

[heptagram]

I guess not.

...incidentally, did we ever work out why this place seems to attract relatively young people and Japanese folks to an extent that disproportionate? Or did it just happen to turn out that way.

[redotiertwo]

i dont think so
mostly it was just people missing the point in various ways
either because they need to get laid or felt like actually taking the whole thing seriously for some reason

[heptagram]

Oh. Guess I didn't miss much of that, then.

I was just curious if there was much of an explanation.

text;

[diehardreaper]

Had a bit of a trip, I can tell you that
Did you know my god was married?
Didn't have the slightest notion until I'd spoken to her!
We had a bit of a row and she set her cock on me, would you believe that?!

[redotiertwo]

oh man the old you had a wife the whole time plot twist
though let me tell you
i am getting an entirely different image than you probably intended with you talking about her setting her cock on you
mostly involving some kind of crudely drawn penis rocket

[diehardreaper]

Blimey no, not that kind of cock! That kind I probably wouldn't mind.
An actual ruddy rooster.
Their talons hurt like the buggery, let me tell you especially when you least expect it.
Doesn't help she was a bit bladdered when I got to talking to her
They throw wilder parties'n I expect them to over in Louisiana.

[redotiertwo]

wow dude that sure is a detail
but literal dicking around aside that sounds like comedy gold
getting an angry rooster set on your by your half drunk not wife
assuming bladdered means what i think it means
i only speak american

[Okay no he's definitely being an intentional shit with that last bit.]

[diehardreaper]

It's bleeding hilarious in retrospect
Wasn't so funny experiencing it right there and then
And no worries mate I get that a lot.
Thinking back, can't really tell if she was actually hammered to the gills or sober
Either way

Though how'd your trip go?
Can't be any worse'n any one else's here.