Heaven's BBS | Anonymous | Text

[spes_phthisica]

so uh
i have seen certain kinds of relationships between gods and shinki argued for or against and all that
but this isnt really about that

what i want to know is more
what are you supposed to do as a shinki if you cant help having certain feelings for your god
and you KNOW that your god knows about this?

i mean its hard to avoid if you keep stinging your god every time you look at them in a certain way
right???

my god doesnt seem angry about it or anything
actually they seem to think its fun
and you think they could show a bit of compassion and wear a bit more clothes around the temple but nooooo

im just wondering what im supposed to do about this
its getting embarrassing :(

Comments

[justclaws]

That he appears to be forgetting himself around you is all the more reason to be mindful of how you conduct yourself. You cannot control his behavior, but you can certainly mind your own. Sometimes it falls to us as servants to remind our masters of what is expected of them.

A master's behavior may not always be worthy of respect, but that is no reason to fail to be respectful oneself.

[spes_phthisica]

i would not say it makes him any less worthy of respect
i would never think less of him for a second just because hes aware of how attractive he is

nor do i think it means he doesnt respect me either

ive tried really hard not to do anything inappropriate
but its pointless when i cant control my feelings
or how flustered he makes me

[justclaws]

And yet you seem forgetful of the respect owed to his position, as opposed to the respect he commands as the man you must serve. A noble may be respected for being generous and wise, but were he neither of those things he would still deserve the respect that is owed any lord.

It is that you must consider when you think of crossing these lines. No matter how our masters may approach us, and no matter how circumstances require us to live, we are not their equals. It would be frankly audacious to presume otherwise. Such feelings are inappropriate and must be controlled, no matter how overwhelming they feel. That it is difficult is of no consequence.

[kagenonadeshiko]

PLEASE BE QUIET.
YOU KNOW NOTHING OF THESE MATTERS.

[Someone accidentally hit capslock and isn't tech or internet savvy enough to realize she's shouting.]

[justclaws]

I know as much as anyone else who has read this message which, ignoring my own experiences, is not a lot. I see no reason why my aDVICE SHOULD BE CONSIDERED ANY LESS VALID THAN ANYONE ELSE'S.

[justclaws]

WHY IS MY WRITING COMING OUT LIKE THIS?

I CANNOT SEEM TO MAKE IT STOP.

[kagenonadeshiko]

I DON'T KNOW WHY EITHER. STUPID MACHINES.
ANYWAY
SOME US KNOW MORE THAN OTHERS AND YOUR ADVICE IS TERRIBLE AND THE LAST THING HE NEEDS TO HEAR.

[justclaws]

I FAIL TO SEE WHAT IS SO TERRIBLE ABOUT PUTTING YOUR DUTIES AND RESPONSIBILITIES BEFORE YOUR DESIRES.

[kagenonadeshiko]

BECAUSE LIFE ISN'T JUST THAT. IT'S MORE THAN DUTY. MORE THAN RESPONSIBILITY. THOSE ARE JUST PARTS OF IT.
IF YOU JUST FOCUS ON THOSE, ONE DAY WHEN YOU'RE OLDER, YOU'LL WAKE UP AND REALIZE IT'S ALL THAT YOU'VE EVER HAD. AND THEN IT MIGHT BE TOO LATE TO HAVE ANYTHING BUT REGRETS.

[justclaws]

I HAVE SUGGESTED NOTHING TO YOUR COMPANION THAT I HAVE NOT FIRST ASKED OF MYSELF. i was born to serve my master and I shoulder that burden gladly.

How can you ever regret a duty cheerfully done?

[kagenonadeshiko]

when it accomplishes nothing.
people aren't born to serve anyone. they're taught to think that way so they'll accept their orders without dissent or complaint. it's a strategy to ensure obedience.
limiting a servant's knowledge of anything but what they need to know to perform and succeed in their duties increases the likelihood of compliance.
you sound very young or very naive and i'm not sure which.

[justclaws]

Yet I was born to serve my master, and I do so with joy. That is the fate of the ones who share the blood of the Four Dragons, and even were I to desire such a thing, I could no more walk from my obligations than I could command the sun not to shine. As for what answering that call may accomplish, I have seen the difference my master has made with my own eyes.

You may call that naivety if that is what you wish.

[spes_phthisica]

it is not that i dont understand what youre saying
and i dont think youre entirely wrong but

um how should i put it
he would not want me to relate to him like that
i know this
he loathes the idea of respect for position separated from respect for ability and character
respect for position in itself is worth nothing to him
that kind of respect would be like an insult to him
and besides i think it would hurt him

[justclaws]

Do you seek advice or permission?

It sounds to me as if you already know what you are going to do.

[spes_phthisica]

not really
it is not that i dont appreciate your advice
and i do understand your standpoint

but i dont think i agree with your reasoning thats all
at least how you view the roles of shinki and gods
i just dont think hed want me to think like that

[justclaws]

With respect, it would appear that neither of you understand your roles.

Your master is your master, whatever you, or he, may think of that; you are his servant, and you must protect him by fighting by his side. Surely you must wish, at least, to see that he is safe? Or would you ask that he watch over you?

[spes_phthisica]

i dont disagree with any of that
he will always be my master and i will never be his equal in standing
but i cannot think of him as just my master and nothing else
he is more to me than just the role assigned to him
and who he is more than just a god is what i will fight and die for if i have to