[text] serious questions from serious people (aka hey look it's a shitpost)

[redotiertwo]

Posted: June 14th
From: Davesprite

ok so
ive been thinking about this for a while but how exactly the fuck does this whole belief to god system work here anyway
i mean we have gods here that nobody except ancient history nerd basement cultists should be worshipping
riding high when some of the big names are spectacular only in their absence
and then theres the question of what bar you have to pass to be considered a god
like where the fuck are our incarnations of the flying spaghetti monster and ceiling cat
or less tragically dated memes
come on people they have religious texts too

[He's been relearning meme culture since he rediscovered it, someone stop him.]

i guess im not that faithful a person because the whole thing seems like grade a spun bullshit to me
but maybe someone can make more sense out of this most gordian of knots

discuss

Comments

[very_goodman]

Yup. Just gotta know where to look. It's like hunting for buried treasure.

[redotiertwo]

maybe not buried treasure but like
hidden in an ancient trap filled cave system of death

[very_goodman]

Yeah, you know. Either way works.

[redotiertwo]

actually you know what else would work hells of good for this metaphor
those asshole treasure chests that try to bite you when you open them and you cant tell whether theyre like that or not until theyre already hanging off your arm

[very_goodman]

Hey, yeah! Like in those old video games, right?

[redotiertwo]

exactly like those
man how long has it even been since a game used those in all seriousness

[very_goodman]

Man, I couldn't even tell ya. All the games these days just have zombies and jump scares.

[He says, as if he can remember anything else.]

[redotiertwo]

yeah shake that cane
get those newfangled survival horror games off your lawn

so anyway jump scares arent the best point to use when were talking about biting treasure chests

[very_goodman]

You don't think so? They were meant to surprise people, after all.

[redotiertwo]

i know that was what i was getting at
talking about how new games are nothing but jump scares when were discussing an old game staple which is also a jump scare
with those nostalgia glasses on so firmly that we dont notice its the same exact thing

[very_goodman]

Yeah, that's what I'm sayin'! The classics do it so much better.

[redotiertwo]

oh man you do have a serious case of the nostalgia goggles
i mean obviously modern gaming is shit for a variety of reasons but so was retro
theyre just different reasons and now the retro ones feel familiar and endearing to us instead of
you know
shitty

[very_goodman]

I guess so. Maybe I oughta go to the arcade sometime and see what the new stuff is all about. Give it a fair shake, y'know?

[redotiertwo]

yeah its not hard to find arcades on the near shore
walk five steps and youll probably trip over one
gotta play the new to judge it against the old right

[very_goodman]

Yup, that's the idea. You wanna come too?

[redotiertwo]

sure
ive been arcading on the near shore once before its one of the few things i can actually do there as long as i dont draw too much attention to myself

[very_goodman]

Maybe I can win some plushies outta the claw machine while we're there, too!

[redotiertwo]

assuming it isnt rigged
or you can play around it being rigged like the last person i went with

[very_goodman]

Yeah? What happened?

[redotiertwo]

lets just say kuroyukihime knows how to get around a rigged machine
like
surrounded by a pile of plushies knows

[very_goodman]

I think I met that girl! She gave me one of the rare ones she won.

[redotiertwo]

yeah sounds like her
she gave me a bird to give to hajime

[very_goodman]

Maybe I can win one for Hiyoko.

[redotiertwo]

do it
those machines deserve every loss they get

[very_goodman]

Sometimes the attendants'll take pity on ya and move the plushes around so they're easy to get if you've been there for a long time. I've seen it happen before.