山崎 宗介 || Yamazaki Sōsuke (
takenwithhim) wrote in
thefarshore2016-11-30 10:02 pm
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Entry tags:
- kairi | kingdom hearts,
- ω akihiko sanada | persona 3,
- ω freyja wion | macross delta,
- ω hazel grouse | saiyuki,
- ω ichiru kiryuu | vampire knight,
- ω kotetsu urashima | touken ranbu,
- ω masaki kurosaki | bleach,
- ω rin matsuoka | free!,
- ω sha gojyo | saiyuki,
- ω shuusei kagari | psycho-pass,
- ω sousuke yamazaki | free!,
- ω toshizou hijikata | peacemaker kuro
Heaven's BBS | Text & Video ~ A Stolen Voice
Posted: May 21st
From: Sousuke Yamazaki
What are shinki?
I’ve not been here long, so I don’t know the truth. Apparently no shinki can. But I’ve experienced enough.
I don’t like it.
We’re shinki. We weren’t told anything upon our arrival. All we knew is that we’re dead and know nothing else. Other shinki probably had the same experience I did: stumble around until someone told me I had to find a god or something before something bad happened to me. We have to rely on whatever our gods tell us as the truth. We’re told we’re supposed to help our gods with their duties and wants and protect them or fight for them. We can’t exist without you; gods give us form and prevent us from fading away. We have to depend on you to survive.
So what are we to you?
I have a god. A Master. He tells me that I’m human more than I’m his shinki. I don’t know if I believe him entirely.
Not all Masters are like that, are they. Some don’t care what a shinki feels. I guess that’s not far from the truth though. After all, shinki are really nothing more than tools to gods. Gods can pick us up simply because they want something from us. Maybe you feel good having us at your side because you think we remind you of something. Maybe you want us because we’re useful to you or you like our looks or fit your fighting style or powers.
But if it doesn’t work out, if we piss our gods off or don’t please them, they’re allowed to discard us like a broken item. Gods can even cycle through us one after another until they’ve found the perfect tool to fit their current needs. And when you’re done, you can throw us away until you’re ready to use us again. Or left to wander for someone else to maybe pick up before we fade away into nothing.
And we have no choice but to come when you call us whether we want to or not. Because we’re nothing without you. We’re valuable possessions to keep close or useful but expendable objects to get the job done.
I don’t know if all gods are aware of this; I know the shinki aren’t. Gods can even steal shinki from another god without asking. Force a new name upon us and give us a new form and power. And if we’re stubborn, apparently blackmail and threats are just as effective. Or you can simply hurt us until we break or get rid of us because we’re not working as you want. Like we’re some kind of toy for your amusement.
We’re told we’re entering a partnership with our gods, but in reality, it only goes one way. We have to choose between vanishing or living as a weapon, companion, prize, tool, whatever, for a god we don’t even know.
If you’re a shinki, think about this. If you’re a god, ask yourself why you have a shinki.

[A video feed flicks on. A full moon glows yellow in the sky above, encircled by spiraling clouds. The edge of a sakura tree billows pink and gentle at one side of the screen, releasing ghost-light sakura petals into the winds that carry them away. It’s silent, some for himself to gather his thoughts, some for letting whoever’s listening to him think. Maybe it is rambling, but the experience he went through…]
So what are our rights? Does anyone want to tell me how this is supposed to work?
All of this may not be something some of you gods care about.
But the shinki should know.
[His is a quiet voice, deep like the dark waters far below the surface of the sea.]
I’m aware I’m probably a rare case; most of the gods I’ve met seem decent. Some of you say you’d never act like I’ve described or think like this towards a shinki. That we can trust you. But we don’t know you. So how can we trust you? Ultimately we have to trust our gods because we don’t know anything else. Whether you use that to your advantage or not is up to you.
It’s a disgusting feeling to know you’re powerless against someone else. I can be stolen and wielded by any god who wants me, regardless of how I feel about it. And if I don’t want that, I have to eternally stick by my Master’s side like a frightened child. We’re not free; we can’t even rely on ourselves because our powers, beyond the borderline, is useless unless directed by a god. I didn’t want this, I don’t know if any shinki does.
[A quiet breath seeps backwards above the screen and the edge of a shirt sleeve flutters into view on one side of the screen. Sousuke’s leaning against the wall beside the window, not in sight, but obviously here if someone feels like talking.]
And if any of you gods haven’t yet learned how to track or trace your shinki, you should start working on that now. Otherwise you're going to find yourself out a useful tool for a while simply because some other god wants to do something different for a change.
Voice
Sousuke! Hey...are you okay?
Re: Voice
He feels guilty for a moment, that Goten has to be brought into this because of him. He should've... said, done, moved, he doesn't know, something?!
But... the sound of the boy's voice is there and it reaches out to settle in his chest with a familiar weight. A soft reassurance amid the bitter frustrating inside his ribs.]
No, Goten.
[It's impossible to lie to him.]
I'm not.
Voice
[He's really not surprise by the answer. If anything it was expected just by the post alone. But still, Goten had to ask. There's a bit of silence as if he ponders what to say next because there's no way he can leave Sousuke alone, upset.]
I would offer to bring you some of those pink petals but it looks like you already have a bunch around you. Have you figured out a food you really like yet?
[He's trying to figure out a way to cheer the teenager up. It's small things but even if it only helps a little. If it just makes Sousuke feel a little better, then it's worth it isn't it?]
I can bring you this cool bug I found today too!
Voice --> Private
No. I've not explored food much. We're still sticking to the basics.
[Even if it's a little strange to be talking something so mundane and normal while he's sitting here in a mixture of fuming bitter and trying to calm down with all the conversations going on with him. It's... It's helping at least.
The bug comment, whether he feels like it or not, pulls a soft smile to his lips. Che, this kid. He's so innocent and sincere, it's hard to stay upset like this with him saying those kinds of things. Like a surf, in and out, upset and calmer. Though there's also a flickering bubble of that nausea at the mention... Like he had with the swimming pool.]
Maybe tomorrow, Goten. I'm still cooling down.
[A moment of silence before he talks again.]
Goten, you know who did this, right? The same guy who threatened and hurt you.
Voice --> Private
[His smile can be heard in his voice. He knows what Sousuke meant but that doesn't mean he can't turn it around. No scary god is going to stop him from having fun. Sousuke shouldn't let him either
But its last few words that makes Goten fall quiet. He stares at the screen for awhile, a quiet uncomfortable hum escaping him. Oh boy, he knew alright.]
Y-yeah. I couldn't do anything. I donno how but I couldn't move or anything. I thought he was a friend of yours....
[That was quickly cleared up. He wasn't a friend at all. He threaten Sousuke and Goten...couldn't do anything about it despite promising to protect the other shinki. This was someone Goten couldn't use his abnormal strength on. Someone that could hold both of them completely at his mercy with seemingly little effort. For all the strength he had what good did it do when he couldn't fight back? It wasn't fair! He really doesn't want to think about that guy. His voice tightens, cracking a bit.]
..I'm sorry Sousuke.
Re: Voice --> Private
[He really does appreciate Goten’s kindness and the reminder of all the fun things they have planned. And he wants to keep those promises. But they’ll have to wait until things calm a bit. The smile in Goten’s voice brings it clear to his mind as if it’s right there in front of him.
That quieting period and the soft hum from the other boy tells him everything he needs to know about that question. Schuldig’s come after them both by now. Who’s a path to who, he doesn’t know.]
No, he’s no friend of mine. He threatened to make me his shinki on the first day I arrived here. This time, he threatened to hurt you and Rin if I didn’t become his shinki. I couldn’t move either, and you know shinki can’t use their own powers except for the borderline. I didn’t want to, but I didn’t want you or Rin getting hurt either.
Don’t apologize, Goten. This isn’t your fault. Or mine. Or our gods’. It’s his. [He really doesn’t want to see Goten cry; hearing his voice crack even that much makes his chest clench some.] Listen, Goten. After we’re done here, promise me you’ll talk to Archie about this.
I want him know. And if you guys haven’t yet, you should work or Archie’s ability to both track and summon you. I don’t like the idea of Rin knowing where I am all the time, but if this is the risk, then I’ll deal with it.
Will you do that, Goten?”
Voice --> Private
[He won't push him too much this time. Even with everything that has happened he still wants to hang out with Sousuke. If anything, this makes him want to a bit more. Maybe he just didn't try hard enough to protect him. It was obvious that guy wasn't going to leave Sousuke alone. Goten didn't want him getting used by him. He didn't want him getting hurt. Hearing he helped that god because of Rin and him doesn't make him feel any better. He's suppose to protect Sousuke, not help get him hurt him or working with that jerk. Goten clenches his small hands into fits as he grinds his teeth slightly]
You still shouldn't have to help him! That's not fair! There's gotta be something we can do. I don't want that guy around you. He's really bad!
[That guy was way too interested in Sousuke. What if he puts his hand on Sousuke's head and takes him to that weird room like he did to Goten? Goten still is shaken up about that despite putting his best foot forward. Snapping out of that weird room like a dream and waking up to a reality of shooting pain and his own blood drenching his clothes. It terrified him. He still doesn't understand what happened. Goten trembling a bit just thinking about it and tries to shake the memory out of his head.]
Ar-Archie already knows about that guy. I flew home after it and he patched me up...
We haven't done any shinki or god stuff still. Even after that....but I'll tell him about what you said.
Re: Voice --> Private
[Which would happen if they’d met up right now or really soon. Considering this posting has given him a lot to think about and now he also has to contend with deeply hurting his own god, it’s… simply not a good time for physical company. He does want to keep those promises and meetings with Goten. The boy’s enjoyable to be with and his innocence and determination help Sousuke’s own thoughts in handling this world. But he’s not so distanced as to miss the guilt that’s creeping into Goten’s mind right now and spilling through his voice as he protests. After all, the boy had promised to protect him in case something bad happened. And now…]
Oy. This isn’t your fault. Don’t guilt yourself over it.
[It isn’t fair and he knows that. He doesn’t want Schuldig around him either. He doesn’t want Schuldig around Goten or Rin or anyone else for that matter. The guy’s a jerk and a creep and Sousuke really doesn’t think the guy’s killing of the ayakashi was done out of any noble purpose. The fact Schuldig probably didn’t have any plans to really leave him alone doesn’t help either; knowing he can be summoned and forced again lurks around in his mind and makes him growl each time he thinks of it. He knows he’d bend again, if Goten or Rin were threatened… and the worse part is, Schuldig knows that too.]
He does, hm? Good.
Hopefully you two can work on that soon. It’s annoying, but it’d be a problem to ignore it now.
Voice --> Private
[He can at least say that with some cheer to his voice, a bit of laughing. It's hard to feel down when he thinks of the fun times he has had with Sousuke and will have in the future. Schuldig can't take that away. No way!]
Still....I wanna beat that guy up. There's gotta be a way.
[He almost seems to pout over that, letting out an annoyed hum. There's got to be away. No one is impossible to beat. Not even gods. But with them both being shinki that does make things harder it seems. Is there a way to become a god?]
Right. I'll tell him and everything. I don't like it much either but if you think it's best I'll listen. You and Rin take care to though.
Re: Voice --> Private
[Hearing the happiness in Goten’s voice is a strange drop of water in the simmering pool that is Sousuke at the moment. It calms him somewhat, lets him think a little clearer. Thinking back to the sky breezing around him as Goten carries him through the air, the casual chat they have during the dusk light. Aa… those things can’t be taken from him. He’s still here, still Sousuke, no matter what.
He snorts a little in amusement.] You and me both. Sounds like a number of people here do too, so don’t pout.
[Because he hears that clean over the device. Honestly, that’s just one more facet of Schuldig that makes him hate the guy; the way he prevents anyone from decking his stupid face. Somehow, he’s going to find a way to bypass that and land something solid on him. At least he got to shove him once. And cut his finger on his vessel form.]
I don’t want it to be that way, but I’d rather that than see you get trapped by him and forced into it. I’ll stick close to Rin while all this settles down. Looks like there’s going to be a heavy conversation on it.
late late
[He chuckles a bit. He really doesn't know what temple Sousuke is at but since the older shinki already told him bits about it, it really wouldn't be too hard to find with a bird's eye view]
I'm not pouting! Just....thinking.
[He is. He really is pouting but it's not fair. He wants to protect Sousuke and everyone else too. How are you suppose to beat up someone that can hold you in place? No matter how much Goten racks his brain for a way around that power, he comes up empty. There's gotta be a way though. He's sure of it.]
That's not a bad thing though. Be careful Sousuke! I dont think that guy will like that you said all that. I'll help out anyway I can too!
s'all good~ i owe you a tag on goten's thread too
[Pretty sure Goten’s able to find his god’s temple without much problem due to being able to fly, so that kind of seals the deal anyways. Oh. Not pouting. Sure. He says nothing, but doesn’t believe it for a moment.
It’s probably a strange feeling, to know that gods are able to do that to other shinki. It removes a security that they might have otherwise had and Sousuke’s well aware this could turn into something very negative between gods and shinki, shattering some of the trust that may very well be fragile in some pairs. But he’d rather that than allow this to continue without an address. Things will be, ultimately, better for it.
But Goten’s one of the few that’s aware of just how vulnerable they are. He also met with Schuldig and also found that binding to eliminate his chance to fight back. It’s not a pleasant feeling at all. Sousuke wants to think there is a way to fight back, but right now, they’re stuck waiting. Ironically waiting on the gods to decide what to do and how to proceed.]
I know he won’t like this, Goten. And I’m counting on it. I want to see him get taken down. I’ll help as well, in any way I can.
stiillllll i adore my sousuke tags
[He knows darn well what he's doing which is evident by the bit of laughter that follows, no matter how much he tries to muffle it with his hands. But over all he does trust Sousuke. The older shinki has never given him a reason not to and Goten really does enjoy hanging out with him.
That's why he cares about Sousuke's well being too. Goten has a big heart, he doesn't want to see anyone hurt but Sousuke is high on that list too. He hasn't done anything wrong. Schuldig is just a big jerk.]
Right! I'm sure this helps, Sousuke.
and i my goten!
The small laugh that comes through the screen eases him and he relaxes against the wall, eyes closing as he tries to think about what's processed in the past hour or two. A lot of people talking, a lot of words and ideas thrown around, a lot of mistakes and questions. Comments about trust and friendship and the gods the shinki serve and work with. It's a strange mixture in his mind and he's fast to find out he's really tired. It's been a long night.
But he's not ready to hang up either. He likes being with Goten. The boy helps clear some of the confusion and over-analyzing. Helps to remind him that sometimes, you had to stop thinking and dive in. Sousuke doesn't want to see Goten hurt again. Not if he can help it.]
It does. More than we probably know.
♡♡♡
[Not that Goten would really ever let him. Hanging out to together is too much fun. All the plans they've come up with and made for the future are still in full effect despite everything that has happen. It's just been a bit delay. If Goten didn't know any better, he'd guess that Sousuke was trying to give him a long boring lesson in patience. He'll respect the other's need for space...for now!
The smile is there, clear in his voice as well as he speaks. He's still worried about how Schuldig will react to this message when he sees it but it is better to get it all out in the open. They can't let someone like that run around and keep doing whatever they want. Sousuke said he would stick close to Rin so...he'd be safe, right?]
Ahuh! Just be careful okay?
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[Goten wouldn't let him forget anyways; he's confident of that. And he looks forward to spending more time with the boy as well. They've had a few meetings, not all of them quite going as they planned, but hey at least they're flexible enough to make the most of what outings they've had together. Most plans still are waiting for the future, life getting in the way, but they're all stored away in that treasure chest of a mind Goten has. Sousuke does feel a little bad about making the boy wait as long as he has, but... he knows attempting anything "fun" right now would end up blowing up in his face.
He's also wonders about Schuldig's reaction; the guy's not stupid and he's listening in on this as far as Sousuke knows. Probably guessing that whenever a conversation goes private, he's being directly discussed. Well fine. Sousuke doesn't care because the god deserves it. And if he comes around again for another round... Sousuke'd kill him. No matter what it took. So long as it keeps Rin and Goten safe from the bastard.]
I will. If you're ever in trouble, come to Rin's castle.
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[It's the bonus to being able to fly and get a bird's eye view of the land. The only reason he hasn't actually dropped in to see Sousuke or his god is because Sousuke had mentioned wanting to ask Rin or something before hand. With everything going on, Goten knew a bit better then to land in for a surprise visit but how long could he really hold out for?
Goten doesn't like running away but when it comes to Schuldig, fight or flight mode is going to will him to take to the air super fast. He learned from trying to take on the god. Until there's a way to get him by surprise or get around that weird power, Goten isn't going to pick a fight. He's scared of Schuldig for good reason.]
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He knows he owes Goten a visit around the castle though. Speaking to Rin to get permission isn’t hard at all and he’s pretty sure the other god would give Goten his own tour of the place (probably saying that Sousuke’d get lost if he offered Goten the tour—psh, as if he’d ever get lost in the castle).
Sousuke definitely has similar feelings to Goten; he’d love to be the one to take down Schuldig, but unless he finds a way to eliminate that guy’s abilities, he’s smart enough to reluctantly admit there’s no chance of him exacting any kind of retribution on the god for abusing him like he had. Hearing Goten’s promise is comforting though and he nods in acceptance.]
Hey, Goten. During your flights, have you ever tried to find an “edge” to this place? What do you see the higher you go?
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I think you mentioned that before but that's still hard to believe! No wonder you're together. I'm surprise you guys live in a castle and not one of those trees. A huge one!
[He laughs at that, kicking his feet just picturing it. Sousuke and his god living in a giant sakura tree with petals everywhere. The floor, the beds everything would be covered in small pink petals. If Sousuke likes sakura as much as Goten is picturing he does, then Rin must be super crazy about them! Maybe his first visit he should bring them more petals--- no they probably have a whole bunch of those. oh well, it'll have to be something sakura themed for sure!]
I never met two guys that liked flowers so much....
[He means it with good spirits, all teasing aside. It's whatever makes Sousuke and his god happy. But the next question makes him blink. He pauses thoughtfully as he ponders over the answer. His arms cross naturally over his chest.]
Mmmm...I fly around both. The other place, the near shore...no the far shore...? Uh..
[He stops for a second, muttering to himself. The near shore was were all the regular people and places were. The far shore is where they were. Right? Or was it the other way around? The terms are too easy to confuse. He shakes his head]
The regular world is really big. I've flown around the whole world before and way above the clouds. I can get really high there but it gets hard to breath so I gotta come back down. But here, where everyone lives I've tried and it sorta just loops around. It's not nearly as big as the world. Flying over the clouds here is weird 'cause any higher and i end up below them again no matter how fast I go or how many times I try!
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Oy. We’re not going to live in a tree. That’s way too fantasy even for him. I think. [Had to add that one.] You seem like the guy that’d live in the clouds if you could.
[That last part’s slightly pouty since Goten’s obviously over there laughing it up at his expense. He does think about the idea though. Living in a huge tree with Rin. Actually, Rin might find that rather interesting, but still, Sousuke doubts either he or his god would ultimately want to live in that kind of thing. The castle with its sakura grove and the gymnasium and pool beneath seems fitting enough in his head. Great, now he’s sure Goten’s stamped the image of sakura as synonymous with Sousuke and Rin from now on--]
Goten! [That one’s definitely more flustered and he stares at the device screen.] Cut it out…
[He mumbles the second part. Of course Goten’s just teasing him and means it in good spirits. But still, Sousuke’s embarrassed about it because flowers are girly and that’s definitely not up his alley, right? Even if he has to admit he does like the sakura. Not as much as Rin (or maybe even because of Rin). Geeze, this is going to be a hard image to shake. He’s glad they switch subjects.]
You can fly around the near shore too?
[Well, he should expect that, since their powers work in both places. So he shuts up and waives the question off with a soft ‘nevermind’ before settling in on for the answer.] Big, hn. [So it’s a lot larger than he’s probably thinking if Goten still calls it ‘big’ from way up there. He blinks for a second and stares at the screen.] You’ve flown around the whole world? [That’s impossible! Unless the world is actually really small… The rest of it sounds rather confusing and he frowns a bit in response. That… makes sense and doesn’t at the same time. What’s higher than the realm of the gods?]
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[Though with clouds there's no--]
Sakura pink clouds maybe?
[He's having way too much fun with this. But it is Sousuke's fault. Everytime he's seen him, it's been around the cherry blossoms. When he meets Rin, it's probably going to be the same to. The flustered call of his name just makes him giggle more as he rocks from side to side playfully.]
Sorrrrrry Sousuke!
[He is and isn't. This is too much fun, but he doesn't want to tease the teen too much but it is hard to not picture sakura and sousuke going together so well.]
Ahuh! I can fly anywhere. I told you I got a lot better. Even better then last time.
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[If he’s going to let himself be a kid and fantasize about stuff like that. And—urk—there goes the sakura reference again. He’s stuck with it forever; he knows this now. Sousuke rubs the side of his neck. Jeeze…]
Definitely underwater.
[Maybe there he can get away from all this sakura fun Goten’s having at his expense. Though it doesn’t bother him too much; he knows he’s kind of walked into it. And it’s nice to see the kid having fun anyways. There he goes, giggling again and he sighs, leaning his head back against the wall behind him. Some day he’ll meet Goten with normal leaves falling. What’ll he do then?]
No you’re not.
[Don’t even try to lie about that, kid. He glances to the side out the window. Then gets up and carries the screen off with him. He’s going to move to the bed so there’s no window around to keep refueling Goten’s sakura-topic enjoyment. Hah. Outsmarted you.]
Anywhere, huh. I wonder if this place’ll like that after a while. You can see and find things no one else can.
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[But there's no sakura underwater...well he could probably have petals down there. They did talk about swimming before but then they weren't too sure if Sousuke could swim.]
I like clouds but I also like water! Fishing and swimming are a lot of fun! If I lived on a cloud I'd still come visit you if you lived underwater! We still gotta race.
[And no, he isn't sorry but he isn't going to admit it. Goten just keeps his smile, rocking from side to side a bit. Even if Sousuke takes the sakura out of his view, its too late. There have been way too many sakura-sousuke related things!
Goten blinks at bit at his last reponse, his head tilting a bit not really seeing the problem. His flying helped people...didn't it?]
Huh? Is that a bad thing?
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[Just to make that clear; he’s not some kind of fantasy daydreamer who thinks of mermen and stuff. Nope.]
Fishing, hm. I don’t think you could fish up in the clouds.
[What would life be like underwater though? Which, to be honest, he’s not sure they have much of around here. Makoto has an ocean of sorts around his lighthouse home, but that’s not… “the ocean” respectively. There are pools in the park, but those are in the Near Shore. So maybe nothing up here. Which is kind of fitting? Strangely enough.]
Heh, you’d come visit no matter where you lived. And we’re going to have it. Sooner or later; I haven’t forgotten.
[He knows he’s not going to admit that lack of apology so call him out on it, yep! Sousuke reaches up and folds his arms behind his head, leaving the device sitting on the pillow beside him. It gives a profile of his face at least, gazing quietly up to the ceiling.]
No, I don’t think it’s a bad thing. I just don’t… know of anyone else besides from you that can fly. So I don’t know how this world handles that.
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[Obivously Sousuke, come on. He could catch fish from the clouds with a really big fishing rod and lots of twine but that really isn't Goten's style. He enjoys the water and getting things with his own two hands. He flops back onto the grass, holding the video above him as he grins at Sousuke.]
You better not forget! I won't let you.
[No way. They have lots of other fun things to do too.]
Maybe this world doesn't know how to? I donno, I donno how to even handle it. I just fly cause its fun. It doesn't hurt nobody so I don't think its bad either
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