thefarshore | Heaven's BBS

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Heaven's BBS | Text

Posted: May 12
From: Anonymous

Has anyone ever noticed how many conventionally attractive people there are here? I know it's heaven but there are seriously a lot of attractive people here.

Just a random observation.

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fairly sure it doesn't count if I already know who you are m8
best you watch your back then
could appear out of any shadow nearby when you least expect it

[ But he's just teasing at this point. ]

O-Ooh. I dare you!

[ And that sure is a pink soldier holding a grenade. Congratulations, you've just pushed Donut back to soldier mode. ]

I've got something for ya!

[ And sadly for Donut, someone's feeling rather playful. Or maybe he's more than happy to look for a distraction. After all, he's had a couple of eventful days.

He's not even going to justify that with a response. Instead, the texts stop coming altogether and slipping right out of Donut's shadow behind him is this particular one armed death god. ]

Dunno what good that's going to get you mate. M'not aiming to pick a fight mind.

[ The soldier jumps and there's a girlish scream before he's rounding on him, gun pointed straight at him. ]

Stick 'em up!

Creeias que podias cancion sin una padre! Pues, tienes otra madre vieniendo por ti, Maestro!

[ What he says: "You thought you could sing without a Father. Well, you've got another mother coming for you, Teacher!"

What he meant to say: "You thought you could take me out without a fight! Well, you've got another thing coming, Mister!"

[ There's a pause as he does raise that hand slightly as if in surrender, head tilting slightly at the sudden declaration. Dead he may be but he still knows a shot is going to hurt like the buggery.

Da fuq is this guy on? ]

Did... you just call me a teacher?

[ Pardon him. Languages were never his strong point. ]

What? No!

[ He huffs. Clearly, he doesn't know spanish. ]

I called you Mister! M-I-S-T-E-R.

[ And those guns? Yup. Still pointed at him. ]

Right...

[ That hand's moving down, two fingers on the muzzle of the gun to geeeeeeeently push it down.

He may be dead but that gunshot's going to hurt like the buggery. ]

Come on, then. All water under the bridge, mate. Blimey, you're high-strung, ent you?

Hey! [ He instantly steps back. ] You're not supposed to touch my gun like that! I could have shot you, you know. Some guys just don't understand boundaries.

[ Yeah, Donut. You talking about boundaries... that's the pot calling the kettle black. ]

You're the one with the muzzle in me face.

[ Amused little chuckle. He's gonna offer his hand out anyway. ]

Anyroad. M'not fit to do you in, honest! Brought here just as you were. I'm Ronald. Ronald Knox, formerly of London's Grim Reaper Dispatch. Or you could call me the Baron if you'd like. Baron Samedi's what they've got me going as here. You are?

[ A sudden gasp and the gun is immediately down. ]

Is that an Australian accent I hear?!

[ Why... does he sound so excited... ]

Edited 2016-11-12 17:04 (UTC)

English. I'm English.

[ Dear lord this guy is a riot. And why... does... he sound so excited? But color Ron amused. ]

Did say I was from London's Grim Reaper Dispatch Department, didn't I?

Awhhh...

[ His shoulders droop down. ]

And here I thought you were from that show I saw in the Vegas Quadrant.

[ A tilt of his helmet. ]

You know... You don't really sound English. I mean, we've been talking to for some time and you haven't even said "Cheerio" once! What's that about? Are you some kind of fake British dude?

[ You know because the one from his canon surely wasn't an English stereotype who said that in every line... Surely that's not it... ]

[ ...wha ]

Blimey, I don't even know where to begin with that... what sort of fellow have you been faffing about with.

Well, he was tall had some awesome armour, if you know what I mean, and he tried to kill us all and steal Tucker's alien baby to brainwash and enslave an entire alien race.

[ A look. ]

.... You're not going to try and steal my kid too are you?

I know this place isn't really into mpreg but you never know. I just want to make sure that if I ever do get Simmon's ovaries I won't have some fake British dude after my kid. You know.

[ Is this how people feel like when he's confused them with his words? Is this how it is to be on the receiving end of jargon you can't make out?

Suddenly he feels sorry for anyone who's had to decipher him. ]

...m'not aiming to snatch anyone's kid, to be honest. And... m'not fake either. Though now I've to ask... who's this Simmon and what the bloody hell'm I to do with his ovaries?

[ The gun's suddenly out again, and pointed at him. ]

Those are my ovaries, Mister.

Alright, alright... you can ruddy well keep them, blimey!

[ And hand up again. Gosh this guy. ]

Great!

[ Now that they've got that squared away, he holsters his gun and extends a hand out in greeting. ]

Name's Private Franklin Delano Donut.

Flower god!

[ At least he isn't being threatened? But that hand does go out and Donut's handshake is more than returned. For a guy with one arm, he's got quite the grip. ]

Pleasure's all mine, Franklin... despite the circumstances. Part of the military, then, were you?

[ He shakes his head. ]

Doooonut. No one calls me Franklin except my Mom's.

[ If he didn't have his helmet on, Ronald would totally see a pout, though he can definitely hear it. ]

[ At the mention of the military he instantly perks up! ]

Yeah! I've been in the Red Army for years! Yup. Just me and the guys. Us against the world, living the dream.

Donut then!

[ At least he found a point to go on. Better than having that gun pointed at him. ]

Fancy that. How many? Must be a bit different being here than back there.

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Heaven's BBS | Text

....still not anon

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