Heaven's BBS | Text

[deniles]

Posted: 22 April 2016
From: Anonymous

Are you bored?

Me too. Let's have some fun.

I'd like to say I'm somewhat of a relationship expert, so I'd like to answer all your relationship problems.

Why? Boredom mostly. I'm giving you guys a gift so don't waste it.

Well. Send them in. And if you need a name, call me Relationship Guru.

[ooc: Niles will be giving intentionally bad advice because he's still an asshole at heart, so just keep that in mind!]

Comments

[jocularly]

I dunno if I can spice it up. I can't remember if I ever was with anybody.

[deniles]

You don't have to tell me a true story. Just an interesting one.

[jocularly]

An interestin' one, huh?

I suppose I could tell ye about the Queen. Yeah, I remember her story at least.

Victoria was a lively, cheerful girl, fond of drawing and paintin' at the beginning. She ascended the throne of England in 1837, I believe. Then, in 1840, she married Prince Albert. They had nine children together an' Victoria loved her husband deeply.

Unfortunately, Albert died in 1861 and she was devastated. For three years, she didn' show her face. There were several attempts on her life, but the Prime Minister forced her to come back out into the public an' she opened the Parliament in 1866. But she never stopped mourning her prince an' she wears black to this day.

It's not a silly story or a wild one, but it's sweet, innit?

[deniles]

I don't know if I'd call it sweet.

A woman never moved on from the man who died and so she could never be happy again.

Is that truly what her husband would have wanted? Or was she being selfish?

[jocularly]

I wouldn't say she was never happy again. That's kinda presumptuous, wouldn't ye say?

She has a big family and people who love her.

[deniles]

That means nothing. People who are loved are not always happy. It's presumptuous to say that.

[jocularly]

I kin say she is happy with her people. She seems ta take great pride in ruling her empire.

[deniles]

Is that your opinion? Or fact?

[jocularly]

I'm not her, so the first?

[deniles]

So you've chosen to make an assumption about a person's happiness for the sake of a story.

Intriguing. I already like you.

[jocularly]

For the sake of my country more so. I don't need a pretty story. [Actually...he needs all the happy stories.]

Do ye even know me?

[deniles]

I don't. And should I?

[jocularly]

Before ye jump to conclusions, it's polite to know a little first.

[deniles]

Fortunately, I'm not polite.