Heaven's BBS | Text

[deniles]

Posted: 22 April 2016
From: Anonymous

Are you bored?

Me too. Let's have some fun.

I'd like to say I'm somewhat of a relationship expert, so I'd like to answer all your relationship problems.

Why? Boredom mostly. I'm giving you guys a gift so don't waste it.

Well. Send them in. And if you need a name, call me Relationship Guru.

[ooc: Niles will be giving intentionally bad advice because he's still an asshole at heart, so just keep that in mind!]

Comments

[anon]

[missingache]

How long are you supposed to wait before moving on from a relationship you had?

[anon]

[deniles]

3 days or if you find someone attractive enough to bed, which ever comes first.

[anon]

[missingache]

3 days? Why so fast? And is the bed thing like sleepovers?

[anon]

[deniles]

Because time is ticking and no one is getting any younger. And yes, but adult sleepovers.

[Cause now he knows this isn't someone who's had sex.]

[anon]

[missingache]

Oh. What's an adult sleepover?

[Is it more along the lines of not playing video games but things like chess?]

[anon]

[deniles]

Sex.

[boom.]

[anon]

[missingache]

[Okay, he knows what sexuality is, but the word sex by itself? Wait. Do they have something to do with each other? Or is this the gender thing? Well.. since this is anonymous....]

Sex? Like a boy or a girl?

[anon]

[deniles]

You can do it with either or.

[anon]

[missingache]

I know you can be with either! But what is it I'd do with them? I don't know what you're talking about!

[Temper is slowly going tick tick tickity right now.]

[not here]

[lighthousekeeper]

[INTERNALLY SCREAMING FOREVER what is with this post. Please let this be one big joke.]

[Anon Text]

[lighthousekeeper]

Don't listen to that person above! They're being mean by giving bad advice.

[Gotta protect the power of love and her faith in romance novels.]

[Anon Text]

[missingache]

Why would someone do that?

[lighthousekeeper]

[If this were any other topic, she'd be in Roxas' shoes too.]

Because some people don't mean well. It's like how ayakashi are made, I think.

The best advice I would say is to imagine yourself in the other person's shoes or think about the choice for awhile. If you feel really bad thinking about doing an action, it's probably not the time.

[missingache]

I'm just asking because my friend brought it up. I had a girlfriend, but she's not here. My friend told me to move on. He didn't say how long it takes.

[lighthousekeeper]

It depends on the person, and it sounds more complicated than just getting another girlfriend.

How do you feel when you think about her?

[missingache]

I feel sad and I miss her, but I think I like someone else, and I'm confused, too.

[lighthousekeeper]

[Alright, intuition time.]

All those feelings are okay! And it's fine to like someone else too if the other person you like went away. It sounds like that's the first step to moving on.

What are you confused about?

[missingache]

I'm confused about why I like the person I like because I don't want to like them but I do.

And reading manga isn't helping! It's making everything worse. I feel like a heroine in one of those manga except there's not three other guys, and my life isn't all bubbles and hearts.

[i.e. girlfriend got him into shoujo manga and now everything is weird.]

[Anon Text]

[deniles]

No one asked you for your opinion. You just chose not to listen to me, that's your own fault.

[lighthousekeeper]

No one is stopping me from giving it either.

AND DON'T BE MEAN TO KIDS! [Seeing as the original anon doesn't know about adult things, Ion's in big-sis mode.]

[deniles]

I'm helping them.

You're scaring them.

[lighthousekeeper]

It's scary that you're teaching sex ed to someone you don't know!

[deniles]

Wouldn't it be weirder if it was someone you knew?

Having to think about them having sexual intercourse.

[lighthousekeeper]

No because then I would know how handle the talk. You're making this really creepy!

[deniles]

You know, you're being especially rude about this. Is that so necessary?