text | Mephistopheles

[subconmodo]

Someone please, please chime in. You agree that this isn't healthy, right? I'm not the only one, right?

Public shaming is perfectly warranted in this instance, right?!

[attached is a photo of Hat Kid. She looks confused. In one hand she holds a bottle labeled "Meatball Wine." In the other, a sign. It says "I got caught drinking marinara sauce and apparently do so 'some of the time."]

[Yes. This is basically a pet shaming picture]

Comments

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Plumbing? Mail delivery?!

[Zetta's cool with the other stuff but OH THAT'S IT]

[subconmodo]

Yes, mail delivery. My minions' motivational packages aren't going to deliver themselves!

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Definitely a waste of that kid.

[subconmodo]

Please. I've got plenty of minions to take care of the other day to day drudgery. If it was really worth my time I'd just do it myself.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Oh please. I bet you don't know the meaning of the word minions. I have minions.

video

[subconmodo]

[Oh really?]

[The video starts up, with Evelyn, Jeremy, and two stolen, creepy-cloaked spygoats on display. Apparently he decided to abandon Hat Kid at some point Probably around the time when Zetta was trying to hire her on as a vassal]

[Proving a point is Priorities.]

Why don't you say hello?

'Sup, weird book guy?

[video]

[badassfreakingoverlord]

[Oh, really?]

[Zetta returns fire in kind; his video displays him standing in front of a dozen different minions all bearing weapons and doing their fiercest battlefaces. And also three Prinnies.]

Yeah, hi.

Yo, dood!

How's it going, dood!

Dood, aren't those Hibiki's?

[subconmodo]

[He's not phased. Zetta may have superior manpower and a better fighting force, but Snatcher's always preferred to use the law and subterfuge to his advantage]

They wandered into my traps. [so, so many times] Therefore they're now mine. Finder's keepers, no takesy-backsies.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

...Have some pride. They're Hibiki's.

[Zetta makes an aggressive face. Why would Snatcher WANT spygoats? If they wandered into one of Zetta's traps, he'd burn the trap!]

[subconmodo]

Look. It was easier than trying to reason with the things.

And they're fun to ride down hills!

[badassfreakingoverlord]

How do they get down hills without exploding or wandering off or doing something stupid? I mean, making Prinnies suffer is fun but I wouldn't trust one as a sled...

[subconmodo]

You know the whole carrot and stick thing? Yeah. We do that. But with pictures of Hibiki.

Sometimes you little guys almost make me proud.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

Pictures of Hibiki? What an embarrassing thing to be carrying around!

[subconmodo]

They're the ones carrying it, not me.

Yeah. Boss let us have them after he was done--

[there goes the minion, flying off screen. Can't have anyone revealing information about his secret weapon now, can he?]

Look. I have to give them something. Mail's in short supply so I've had to come up with some consolation prizes.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

....Whoa, back up. Are you beating it to pictures of Hibiki?!

[subconmodo]

[He doesn't breathe, and yet he's still choking]

NO!

Huh? What's he talking about, boss?

Nothing! Shut up! You're too young to worry about that cr--about that stuff!

I use them for target practice. Seriously... Might as well be talking to a copy of Proof of Ethical Consumption Under Capitalism.

[badassfreakingoverlord]

HOW DARE YOU CALL ME ETHICAL! And -- okay, I admit that's a good use for pictures of Hibiki, but it's still wrong to have them in the first place!