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[trustheart]

From: Ishtar
When: March 5th [frontdated]

... So I went to sleep last night, and found myself home. Went through a whole couple months, a bunch of shit happened, and then I wake up here again after it's all over. Kinda feeling jerked around a bit, but what's happened has happened.

Anyway, I've been hearing prayers from people whose relationships are in trouble lately, and if this place is going to insist I be a love goddess, then I guess I'd better do something about it. Problem is, the soulless shinki this place assigned me and I haven't been getting on at all, and considering it's been a few months since I saw him from my perspective, I don't think it'd be a good idea to try and force it.

This isn't easy to admit, but if I'm gonna do this, I need help. Would anyone be willing to help me stake out the Tokyo Museum for a few nights? There's definitely ayakashi involved, so I definitely know I shouldn't go it alone.

Comments

[hypomeneo]

Oh? A tough guy, huh? Does he ever act as over the top at times as my god?

[Waver's. Curious.

... also, how do they manage to build them like that? The view's superb, but that's impossible levels of swole. Can't be just training.]

[trustheart]

Oh. Oh my god. You have no idea. All he does is eat pizza and watch action movies and imitate what he sees in Bruce Lee movies. He can't fight with us because our enemies can disintegrate human bodies with a touch, but he's like someone who escaped from a fighting game otherwise. I swear to god, I would think he and Iskandar might be different versions of the same person if I didn't know better.

[hypomeneo]

Oh.

So in other words, the universe would explode if the two ever met up, because there's no ways the physical limits of reality could contain that much them. I completely get it.

[trustheart]

And I'm pretty sure their combined testosterone would result in a new big bang where only really heavily muscled things exist.

[hypomeneo]

I don't know about you, but I'm not swole enough to survive that. Just look at me. Makes me want to go hit a gym in sheer self preservation.

[trustheart]

I barely survive his training sessions as is. I'd definitely be destroyed instantly. Without my Symphogear I'm just soft and squishy like a marshmallow.

[hypomeneo]

We'd better lock this entire conversation to private from the beginning. Iskandar will see this and get ideas.

For the sake of being able to move ever, it's probably a good idea he not.

[trustheart]

Oh dear god. I've already mentioned the old man to him!

[hypomeneo]

Hide this quick!

... fuck, I'm not that good with tech. How do you lock this thread?

[trustheart]

I'm not even sure you can with stuff you already posted! We're just going to have to hope he doesn't see it.

[hypomeneo]

If you hear a steady string of profanity my way, you will know he has.

[trustheart]

Look, I've had to deal with these training sessions. They're survivable. This is only going to be a serious problem if for some godforsaken reason heaven decides to bring the old man here.

[hypomeneo]

Survivable in a way you might not want to survive. I feel I will get to know that feel well.

I'd pray to the gods for deliverance from this worse case scenario... but this is heaven, and I don't think the gods here can prevent that. Urgh. The things you have to deal with when you're dead.

[trustheart]

What old American bands does he know about? Maybe we can get ahead of this.

[hypomeneo]

I don't know. I can find out. We have so many movies and video games, though. Raiders of the Lost Ark, Tomb Raider, Halo... things like that.

[trustheart]

Do your best to find out. And oh good, Rambo and the complete Jean Claude Van Damme library aren't in that list.

[hypomeneo]

I haven't seen every movie we have... but no. No that's not getting in here if I can help it.

[Which is not the only movie/video game banned on premises now. If Iskandar had Dynasty Warriors, he's sure to have now hidden it from Waver for Reasons.]

[trustheart]

Yeah. I like those movies but the important part is not giving him ideas.

[hypomeneo]

Indeed. No further ideas.

Doing things the 'Spartan Way' would be bad enough. Though I should say the 'Macedonian Way' in his case.

[trustheart]

He's already pretty different from what history says about him in my world, so I'm scared to think of how that applies to this version of him.

[hypomeneo]

... I don't want to assume. You know what I was wrong on before. ... he definitely wasn't what I was expecting.

It depends in part on how the people who taught him how to fight and how they approached training in his armies were.

[trustheart]

It's no use wondering too heavily about it. And... both he and old man Genjurou are nice guys in the end, so I guess we don't have too much to fear. Besides our bodies being broken and the universe being consumed in a testosterone driven explosion anyway.

[hypomeneo]

That's true. What will come will come. We'll be fine.

I'll just stock up on the painkillers. Total testosterone-induced annihilation will call for Tylenol.

[Well for her. Mages like Waver tend to prefer more herbal remedies for agony.]

[trustheart]

You'd be surprised at what kind of punishment a Symphogear can endure. I was in the vicinity of a nuclear explosion once. But yeah, painkillers would help.

[hypomeneo]

[Excuse me, suddenly alarmed. Nukes. This brings up one bubble of worry that in no way, no sir, came from living through some very tense times in the Cold War.]

You were near a nuclear explosion?!