Heaven's BBS | Video

[herbalsupplements]

Posted: April 11th, 10:02 AM
From: Xochipilli

[It's... a step pyramid covered in plants. Green things, mostly, but there are all sorts of lovely flowers visible, a few of which some residents of the Far Shore may recognize from their own temples or those they've visited previously. The pyramid's only a couple of stories tall, though, not much bigger than a respectable house, with stairs leading straight up the front. A voice on the probably-but-not-100%-sure-it's-masculine end of androgynous starts speaking from behind the camera, and some people might recognize this, too.]

Good morning, everyone! I've been making some changes around the garden, so it's time for a public safety notice.

[The camera backs away from the pyramid until a No Smoking sign comes into view; “violators will be made into fertilizer" it warns, but someone's crossed that out with permanent marker and written "please be careful of man-eating plants" underneath. The voice behind the camera lets out an exasperated little "really, Mai," but the sign is properly in focus now and stays on screen for a bit.]

In order to protect the pollinating invertebrates who've taken up residence on and around my temple, and to maintain a relatively self-sufficient ecosystem, some of my plants have been altered and trained to perform rudimentary security functions. Allow me to demonstrate.

[The camera angles down, revealing a ball of ground beef with a lit cigarette jammed into it filter first, and then returns its attention to the pyramid. The ground beef is lobbed at the pyramid; something like an enormous Venus flytrap lunges up out of the otherwise innocuous greenery and snatches the meat and cigarette out of midair, then slinks back down and vanishes with little more than a rustle.

Fun, right?]

You will, of course, be perfectly safe if you don't have a lit cigarette on your person, so don't hesitate to stop by and socialize or seek gardening advice. Thank you for your time.

[And then, after a moment of plants waving gently in the breeze and miscellaneous birdsong, the video ends.]

Comments

[clothes_make_the_man]

Purely for enjoyment. I've always loved bright colors and pretty lace.

[herbalsupplements]

Sounds like I'm not the only one with a taste for the dramatic. Have you got a sewing machine here yet?

[clothes_make_the_man]

I borrowed one from the home economics room at the school for the time being.

[...They have so many. They won't miss it, right?]

[herbalsupplements]

[Kurama is the last person to hassle anyone for having sticky fingers.]

A wise choice! I don't do more than a little repairing myself, but I'm sure any machine deemed suitable for a school should be simple enough to learn independently.

And of course we must cut costs where we can while we establish ourselves.

[clothes_make_the_man]

[He's a little embarrassed about it, really. It was in his arms before he knew what was going on.]

I fully intend to return it once I find one of my own. But it was just so fascinating, I couldn't resist.

[herbalsupplements]

Are you planning to make clothes you can sell, by any chance? I'm sure you could make enough money to get a top-of-the-line sewing machine in no time if you have so much experience already.

[clothes_make_the_man]

That's my eventual goal, yes. I was thinking of opening a custom tailoring business for the gods and their shinki. What do you think of the name 'Heavenly Couture?'

[herbalsupplements]

It's quite evocative, and I like the double entendre. You're a few steps ahead of me, aren't you?

[clothes_make_the_man]

A good business starts with a good name. I won't draw in any customers with something bland.

[herbalsupplements]

You're definitely a few steps ahead of me. Let me know when you're closer to opening, won't you? We can always use new clothes here in the garden.

[clothes_make_the_man]

I'll be sending out a general announcement when I'm ready, but I'll try to let you know ahead of time. It will be good to have some jobs I can start working on right away.

[herbalsupplements]

Thanks! I'll look forward to it.