Heaven's BBS | Video

[herbalsupplements]

Posted: April 11th, 10:02 AM
From: Xochipilli

[It's... a step pyramid covered in plants. Green things, mostly, but there are all sorts of lovely flowers visible, a few of which some residents of the Far Shore may recognize from their own temples or those they've visited previously. The pyramid's only a couple of stories tall, though, not much bigger than a respectable house, with stairs leading straight up the front. A voice on the probably-but-not-100%-sure-it's-masculine end of androgynous starts speaking from behind the camera, and some people might recognize this, too.]

Good morning, everyone! I've been making some changes around the garden, so it's time for a public safety notice.

[The camera backs away from the pyramid until a No Smoking sign comes into view; “violators will be made into fertilizer" it warns, but someone's crossed that out with permanent marker and written "please be careful of man-eating plants" underneath. The voice behind the camera lets out an exasperated little "really, Mai," but the sign is properly in focus now and stays on screen for a bit.]

In order to protect the pollinating invertebrates who've taken up residence on and around my temple, and to maintain a relatively self-sufficient ecosystem, some of my plants have been altered and trained to perform rudimentary security functions. Allow me to demonstrate.

[The camera angles down, revealing a ball of ground beef with a lit cigarette jammed into it filter first, and then returns its attention to the pyramid. The ground beef is lobbed at the pyramid; something like an enormous Venus flytrap lunges up out of the otherwise innocuous greenery and snatches the meat and cigarette out of midair, then slinks back down and vanishes with little more than a rustle.

Fun, right?]

You will, of course, be perfectly safe if you don't have a lit cigarette on your person, so don't hesitate to stop by and socialize or seek gardening advice. Thank you for your time.

[And then, after a moment of plants waving gently in the breeze and miscellaneous birdsong, the video ends.]

Comments

[oviraptor]

all it takes is one little moment of complacency

then people are getting eaten

[herbalsupplements]

I'm truly sorry if that's the only way you've ever experienced it, but perhaps you should have paid better attention.

[It's a shot in the dark, but Kurama's old enough to know that the biggest problems with nature usually come from failing to anticipate its cycles or asking too much of it, both of which he's long since learned to avoid.]

[oviraptor]

nah, nature is sneaky

it always finds its way no matter how much you prepare

the strong are going to survive no matter what the weak do

[herbalsupplements]

Then I suppose I'll submit gracefully if you get the opportunity for an "I told you so", but in the meantime I'll continue living with nature in my own way.

[He's managed it pretty well this long, after all.]

[oviraptor]

if there is an i told you so moment i will be there with popcorn