Heaven's BBS - Text

[kokuyoyo]

Date: January 10
From: Anonymous

-----------------------

Things happened. Holidays. - keiyuki

- Chapter 1
- Chapter 2
- Chapter 3

[He died, cut him some slack. Even if he's not telling anyone that.]

[The chapter opens up with some basic exposition from Casimiro about how things have progressed in a month since him and Elio have started working as partners. It's nothing mind blowing. Casimiro observes things such as how Elio has started to come in with his hair not gelled anymore, and that their partnership is still stiff although Elio listens to Casimiro through rank only. Nothing exciting apparently happens in the month, since there's dismissive descriptions of going on patrol and answering plain calls that go nowhere about noisy neighbors or things of that nature. Casimiro does note, however, that his superior- Deacon Caputo- seems to be more aggravated lately and is thus more of a hassle to work under. This goes on for a page or so, before....]

The door to Caputo's office suddenly slammed open. Casimiro stopped his complaints about Elio's sloppy desk. The look in Caputo's eyes said he wouldn't have tolerated it anyway. "Falco," he snapped. "There's a hostage situation. Go, now."

They were supposed to be on desk duty tonight but that didn't matter. Caputo's word was law. Casimiro saluted and turned on his heel to head towards the artillery room. He didn't have the kind of social skills which were ideal for a hostage situation. That meant if he was being called then negotiations had already gone badly. As he went, Elio followed him. At least he really was learning. It didn't matter if Elio hadn't been called. The two of them were partners, for better or worse. Of course they would go together.

Through years of habit and practice, it didn't take long for him to get the gun he needed or to pack up into the squad car. The air was tense inside as he navigated the city streets. He could tell from the corner of his eye that Elio had probably been waiting for this kind of thing for a while now. He was leaning forward, muscles tense with eagerness, and the passing streetlights caught the amber of his eyes in an eerie way. It seemed eerie to Casimiro, anyway. For a moment, he wondered if all canine shifters had eyes so fascinating. His last partner hadn't been one, after all. Despite the fact that he could have stared for a lot longer, he turned his attention back to the road. It would be embarrassing if he crashed on the way to a hostage situation.

[On the way there over radio and at their arrival, the pair are given a briefing on the situation: a domestic dispute that quickly escalated even before neighbors had called the cops, who'd been met with a gun to their face when they'd attempted to knock at the front door. The gunsman had been so erratic, the answering cops had no choice but to retreat back to the street. One of the gunsman's demands had been to kill the lights, believing it would give him an advantage.]

It had already been obvious to Casimiro why he was called in the first place. As he looked in the direction of the darkened street, unable to be lit fully by the meager light of the moon, it was even more obvious now. "Then I'll get into position," he said plainly. "Adesso, when I fire my shots, I need you to find a good point to take down the gunman before he can react." He didn't wait for a response before he took his sniper case and began to move.

Elio followed him regardless. "It's pitch black," he pointed out unhelpfully.

"I know."

"How are you going to see anything?"

Elio really hadn't paid attention when he had been assigned as his partner. Well, it was time for Casimiro to shift anyway. He guessed a demonstration wouldn't hurt. However, it was dark. He had to lean in close to Elio, their breaths mixing in the warm night air. Elio stiffened, expecting a fight. Casimiro didn't give him one. Instead, he took a breath and focused on the hundreds of small muscles and nerves which pushed and changed for his shift. When Elio shifted, joints popped and relocated to accommodate his much larger form. Casimiro wasn't so dramatic. His was quieter as keratin formed to break past skin. The amount of blood in the shift was too minuscule to count but Elio smelled it anyway. Casimiro could tell by the way he perked up with his nose twitching. Not that he needed to smell anything. The feathers which had sprouted along the sides of Casimiro's face, his wrists, throat, and up from his hair were signal enough. With his sunglasses having been put back into his pocket during the drive here, the way orange broke up the dull gray of his eyes was also no doubt apparent. They definitely helped him take in the way Elio glanced up at his ears, where large tufts of feathers had sprouted distinctly. "I'm an owl shifter," he explained, when he was sure his partner had taken in everything.

Elio paused. "An owl shifter?"

"Yes."

The pause continued a little longer. "Your last name is Falco."

He didn't like where this was going. "Yes."

A smirk began to grow on Elio's face. "Then shouldn't your name be Gufo? You're the wrong species!"

"Get to your post."

[The hostage situation ends up being taken care of smoothly. When the gunman waves the weapon around (Casimiro noting he has tattoos on his arm and might be part of a Triad), Casimiro shoots his hand and the offending weapon, which leaves him open for a shifted Elio to pin to the ground. (This takes the hostage with them, but Casimiro seems to let it slide.) As the rest of the officers swarm in to handle things, Casimiro notices his partner behaving fidgety and strange, but dismisses it. At least, until the end of their shift in the middle of the night, when Casimiro notices Elio slinking off suspiciously away from the direction he usually goes.... back towards the crime scene.]

Comments

Text: Anon

[unlucky7]

[Hey, look, it's Keiyuki's favorite sniper anon again. The comment is very complimentary, praising the writing and the character interactions and the writing scene. The second part of the comment gets into low-light sniping advice with considerations about angles and light bleed and the effect it can have on low-light vision. Gasp! Is sniper anon actually an owl?]

Anyway, really love the story, glad to see another update.

[kokuyoyo]

[You mean his favorite anon? "Keiyuki" really did like the sniper advice she gave last time, after all, and had hoped he'd done well enough... But the further corrections about low-light sniping and vision isn't rejected at all. Instead, like the time before, he makes sure to ask plenty of questions about this particular subject.]

[If Sniper-Anon really is an owl, he will not be surprised.]

Thanks. As I was in the middle of editing it, I made some minor changes. I didn't originally plan on having Elio go back to the crime scene.

[unlucky7]

[And Sniper Anon is certainly happy to help because Ginia is happy to help, but talking about advanced sniping tactics on the network under her name is not something she wants to do. But everything goes under anon including lots of sniping advice.

Eventually she'll realize it's Chikusa. Eventually.]

I think it works better this way. It makes Casimiro shifting in front of him more like a secret they're sharing together (even if it's probably open knowledge given paperwork and all that).

[kokuyoyo]

[Enjoy remembering that awkward time you gave sex advice, Ginia.]

Yeah, I'll probably mention it as a minor detail later, but shifters have it written down what they shift to. It helps their job know where to assign them.

[Another pause.]

I'm trying to do romantic tension between them but I'm not sure if I'm getting it across right.

[unlucky7]

[Eternal regrets, eternal shame.]

I think romantic tension varies between people. Have you read other romance novels to see how other writers handle tension?

[kokuyoyo]

I have. They're what I've been relying on to learn how to start this. But.

[And there's around a five minute pause before a follow up message gets sent.]

I feel like things that are obvious to me are sometimes too subtle to other people. At the same time, things that make perfect sense to them don't to me. So even when I think I'm following directions, I'm not sure.

[unlucky7]

I don't think it's possible to please everyone with writing. I've read some stuff people hailed as great classics that I didn't see the appeal of. Doesn't make it bad, just not to my tastes.

There's also trying visual novels if you want more ideas on writing romantic tension. Those games are filled with them.

[kokuyoyo]

I guess you're right.

I haven't looked into visual novels before. What are they like?

[It Begins.]

[unlucky7]

They're video games, but they're stories you read through and make choices along the way. Most of them have multiple storylines and you experience them by following the routes of different characters.

[kokuyoyo]

You said they're good for romantic tension. So does that mean they have a lot of romance focused stories, then?

[unlucky7]

In most of the ones I've played, you date the different characters and the relationship and storyline changes depending on the choices you make. Like in one of the games, one character was really cold and stand-offish, but becomes nicer in subtle ways the more you progress on his storyline.

[kokuyoyo]

[!]

I think that kind of thing could help me write out Casimiro and Elio's relationship, then. If you could give me some recommendations, that'd be good.

[unlucky7]

The Last Sunflower of Summer is pretty good. Lots of romance and also some tension and interesting situations. I also started High Stakes, which is about a stock trading company in Tokyo. Less on the romance, but more office intrigue and politics?

[kokuyoyo]

The Sunflower one might be more what I'm looking for. I have a pretty decent idea on how inter-group politics play out, so I don't think I will need anything focused on that as a review. What is it about?

[unlucky7]

You're a student finishing your final year at a magic college and you're assigned to work on a final project with three guys (they're the ones you date).

There's Setana, who is pretty flirty and hot-tempered. Kuro is aloof and arrogant, but gradually warms up. There's also Cervi, but I haven't started his route yet. He seems nice, friendly.

Your character can get killed if you make the wrong choice sometimes. I usually save before major decisions so I can look at the other option if things go poorly.

[kokuyoyo]

Is dying usually an obstacle in these sorts of games?

[unlucky7]

Not all the ones I've played. Some of them you end up losing your job or someone breaks up with you or a family member is sick and you have to move back to the countryside.

In this one, I think I've died three times now?

[kokuyoyo]

[....Huh.]

It sounds interesting. What do you use to play it on? The television I have access to is a little old fashioned so I think I would have to work with it if I wanted to hook up a game system to it. If this is on a computer, it would be much easier for me to play.

[unlucky7]

It's on a few different systems, computer included. I'll send you a link to the company's site.

[Link]

You can check out some of other titles too.

[kokuyoyo]

[Excellent. Clicked, paid for with some difficulty...]

Got it. I'll check out the other ones later. Inbetween my writing, I'll try to play a little bit of this and see if it gives me any inspiration. I'll let you know how it turns out.

[unlucky7]

Hope it helps, and even if it doesn't, hope you enjoy it.

Good luck on the next chapter, can't wait to read it. Here's hoping things stay quiet.

not actually here

[erogappa]

[ He wasn't going to look at the network, after Ken left. He was just going to put his head down and run the bar, like he's done so many times before. Just fall into the routine and forget about heaven -- and all the assholes within -- entirely.

That resolve lasts about four hours, at which point he discovers the new story from the asshole who refused to get to the good stuff... and who, reading back on it, he'd argued with in the most fucking embarrassing way possible. Great.

And maybe that's why he's not enjoying the update this time around, or maybe it's just that he's too distracted. He can't get Ken and Chikusa out of his head, can't fucking believe his crummy luck. Are they really going to let it go, or can he look forward to visits every time Hakkai wakes up cranky? If they even think about...

His eye skims over Casimiro's transformation, and his stream of thought derails spectacularly as something clicks.

Holy shit, he's actually an idiot.

Did it really take him this long to put it together? A pair of Italian thugs, one dirty and with fake-teeth-like dog powers and one with a stick up his ass, who, apparently, is now a bird?!

It's fucking Chikusa. Chikusa is writing romance stories on the BBS. ...And he's writing them anonymously, which means that he doesn't want people knowing it's him. Gojyo can't imagine anyone who would care, but clearly Chikusa can, which makes this all the more interesting.

Gojyo closes the program, and sets his phone aside. He's gonna need to think about what to do with this information. ]

Text; Huitzilopochtli

[rockthemonkey]

[When chapter 3 showed up on Goku's feed over a month ago, he skimmed it with mild curiosity. It didn't make much sense, so he went to the beginning of chapter 1 and read from there. He'd just kept it open in one of his tabs, occasionally reading a couple of sentences at a time when he remembered it was there. By coincidence, he's just caught up when he sees chapter 4 is out.

It takes him a while to finish reading it. Still, it's the fastest he's read a chapter so far, and he finishes it before midnight. Some of it's hard to understand and some of the words don't make sense but-]

casmiro and elio really like each other dont they?

[Heheh, he ships it. If he knew what that meant or put any serious thought into beyond that sentence.]

i like the bits with fighting!! elio is really cool!!

forever anon and "keiyuki"

[kokuyoyo]

[Wait, since when does Goku read? Does that mean Ken has been reading, too, when Chikusa hasn't bee looking?]

[This potential revelation means it takes a while for "keiyuki" to respond, but he manages eventually.]

Yeah. They do. They just don't know how much they like each other yet. They will eventually.

Would you like to see more fighting?

[rockthemonkey]

[He's not an exact Ken duplicate, Chikusa... Goku was raised by nerds, he had to learn how to read at least a little. Write your RPF in Italian if you don't want monkeys reading it.]

thats great!! will they be really happy when they find out??

yeh sure
the fighting is fun especially when its both cashmiri and elio fighting against someone together
with lots of different weapons and stuff like that
stuff like that is good

[kokuyoyo]

Yeah.

[Spoilers.]

They'll do more of that then. I've been told there should be more fight scenes. Just not next chapter probably.

[rockthemonkey]

ok thats good
they should go out to lunch insted then and get their faveourite foods
thats a good thing to do with someone you like!

[kokuyoyo]

[???]

Would people want to read about people having lunch?

[rockthemonkey]

if theyre talking and having fun yeah
and the food is really good
you could rite about shrimp dumplings!

[kokuyoyo]

[On one hand: that sounds dumb.]

[On the other: monkey wisdom.]

[Hm.]

Shrimp dumplings are a Chinese food, right?

[rockthemonkey]

[To be fair, it's not like a food outing is unheard of in romance. It's the perfect setting for flirty banter.]

yeah but any food they like is fine
when theyre eating they can talk too
i think thats easier to read than just lots of words at once

[Dialogue beats walls of text.]

[kokuyoyo]

[In Chikusa's defense, his time spent with Ken eating is watching his boyfriend clean out an entire restaurant of all its meat. It's kind of beautiful in a disgusting way.]

That's a good point. I guess breaking up something is useful in that way.

There's a decent Chinese population in Italy, so I could probably include shrimp dumplings if you wanted.

[rockthemonkey]

[Awe inspiring is the correct term, Chikusa.]

they can have all sortsa dumplings!!
pork and chikcen are good too
i had momo a while ago with chicken and they were really delichus
they should have those!!

[kokuyoyo]

[That's definitely a word for it.]

Should I just have you decide on what they should eat every chapter?