Heaven's BBS

[fortunesmiles]

Does anyone know what the best way to get a gun would be? I suppose I could simply steal one from the Near Shore, but it doesn't seem right.

If anyone is willing and able to provide a gun, I can pay you in good fortune of some sort; I have some control over that as a god. I don't really have much money here in the Far Shore, even if I was rich while I was alive...

Comments

Text: Neptune

[nolittlesecret]

What kind ya looking for? I got a few for hunting, but might have a couple laying around for more up-close-and-personal business.

[fortunesmiles]

A handgun or shotgun, preferably. Something effective at decent range, but not necessarily something as long range as a hunting rifle.

[nolittlesecret]

Handgun would be easier since I don't trust those not trained to use shotguns with one. They have more kick than movies show, and if you're not careful, could easily wrench something out of place.

[fortunesmiles]

Ah, that's a good point! I thought it would have better stopping power against an ayakashi, since at best guns will only be a deterrent for them anyway...but considering that I'm not that strong, and I'm looking for weapons that don't require a lot of strength, that might be a bad choice after all.

You sound like you're very familiar with guns! Do you actually have any I could trade you for, or are you just giving advice?

[nolittlesecret]

I'd hope I was familiar with guns. It's easier to hunt with them.

And it depends on what you've got to trade, and if you need training.

[fortunesmiles]

Oh? What do you hunt? Not people, I hope. [It's always hard to judge tone over text, but Komaeda may not be joking. But then, Komaeda has Seen Some Shit.]

Well, as I said, I can trade good luck! Or maybe bad luck inflicted on someone else, if you like. I seem to be able to control the likelihood of things happening to other people...though it doesn't work on me personally, apparently. Maybe my own natural luck overrides it. But in any case, if you had something you needed to be lucky for, I could guarantee it happens! Or if you want something terrible to happen to someone else, I could make that happen, too...although I'd rather give good luck, personally.

As for training...I'm not sure if I need it or not! I seem to know how to handle guns, but I don't remember how I know. Some of my memories were selectively erased when I was alive, you see. I think I may have learned how to handle a gun during the time I don't remember, and my body recalls how even though I don't remember learning. But it probably wouldn't hurt anything.

[nolittlesecret]

Bigger game, like deer, boar, that kind of thing. People only if they really piss me off. [Kidding! Maybe.]

Good luck? That's something I can always use. Not sure for what. Maybe when it comes to my restaurant not going up in flames with the staff I have working there...

Muscle memory is a good indicator of former use. Practice can help you get familiar with different guns since I have more than one type. We can find one you're comfortable with.

[fortunesmiles]

Hm...I'm not sure I can guarantee an indefinite period of good luck, so much as specific instances of it. Nothing and no one can have permanently good luck...and I'm not sure continually using my powers to keep a restaurant constantly lucky is exactly an even trade for a material item, anyway. Did you have any other ideas?

You do sound like you have exactly what I need, so I'd be happy to work something out with you! But that particular request is a bit much.

[nolittlesecret]

Then I got nothing. How about you just give the luck to whoever you think needs it most? I don't personally need it since this place is already making me feel luckier than my previous home.

But when you're ready, lemme know, and I can get things set up.

[fortunesmiles]

Ah...then you didn't have a particularly happy life while alive, then? I'm sorry to hear that.

That said, my ability to give people good fortune is theoretically infinite, as a god, so there's no reason you need to give away the good luck I can offer you to someone else. Feel free to be a little selfish! It's not like I don't have enough to go around. And you are going to give me a weapon, so I'd like to be able to give you, personally, something in return.

As for when I'm ready, I can be ready whenever you are! I don't see any point in waiting around.

[nolittlesecret]

It is what it is.

And I'm really bad at being selfish, if I were to be fully honest.

My place isn't hard to find. It's right by the park with all the spirit animals running around, but I'm gonna warn ya there's a lot of cats on my property. They greet everyone, and sometimes they have a horse tagging along. He's friendly enough.

[fortunesmiles]

Really? That's impressive! It comes to most people naturally.

But your good luck doesn't have to be something major, if there's nothing major. It could just be finding some money on the ground, or getting things for free from a vending machine, or getting a rare trading card in a pack. That sort of thing. Surely there's some small things that good luck could make nicer for you?

Ah...well, I like animals, but they don't always like me. They attack me sometimes...a horse could be pretty dangerous. But I suppose I can fly, or teleport.

[nolittlesecret]

[............]

Can it be applied to not so legal things like more luck with lock picking?

Argo will leave you alone if I tell him to. He's a giant teddy bear of a horse, but yeah, Clydesdale's are pretty dangerous, especially if they think they're a cat half the time. I'll keep'em in a pen.

[fortunesmiles]

I don't see why not! But it would have the same restrictions as what you suggested for the restaurant; you'd need to specify a specific instance for when you need the good luck. I can't simply make you better at picking all locks indefinitely, not without constantly expending power to do that for an equally indefinite amount of time. And I'm sure you can appreciate why that's just not feasible.

But I could certainly give you good luck picking specific locks!

Ah, I see...I'm not sure what it is, but I always seem to spook animals. Possibly they sense my bad luck? Or maybe it's a function my bad luck itself that makes them not like me...

[nolittlesecret]

Electric locks. Traditional and modern locks I have no troubles with. Electric is not something I specialize in just yet.

Then when you come over, I'll keep them from coming close. They're well trained enough to listen to me.

[fortunesmiles]

That should be doable enough! Luck doesn't make any distinction between digital and analog, after all.

When would you like me to come see you? And where will I find your temple?

[nolittlesecret]

Cool. Then let's do that then.

Anytime's fine. I have ways of knowing when someone shows up at my place. I live in the northwest district. Near the park.

[fortunesmiles]

All right! I'll come by soon.

[nolittlesecret]

Doors open, so come on by whenever.