BBS/Video

[reformedsinner]

From: Li Tieguai
Posted: Oct 7, 2:49 PM

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[Hakkai's sitting at what looks like his kitchen table, hands folded and phone carefully propped up facing him and the wooden wall behind him. For once, he's not smiling. His expression is very neutral. He sounds slightly rehearsed.]

Good afternoon. Due to certain events, I've come to believe that there is something I need to share with you all, in the interests of honesty and transparency. I'm going to talk about some things that may be frightening or upsetting, so if you are under the age of fifteen, please ask a grown-up who you trust to watch this video first and explain it to you.

[He pauses, his eyes dropping from the camera to the screen for several seconds of silence before he looks back up.]

Still watching? Goten, Nanako, I especially mean you.

[He pauses again, for a few more seconds, and his fingers twitch slightly together.]

I have a serious criminal history. Some years ago, my lover was kidnapped by a clan of youkai known for their brutality towards captives. I pursued and attacked them in an attempt to rescue her, and, in the process, was responsible for the deaths of a majority of the clan, not limited to combatants. She did not survive.

The blood I shed was sufficient to transform me from human into youkai. [He reaches up, freeing each of three small silver cuffs from the curve of his ear in turn. His face shifts, ears lengthening and developing sharp points, green vine patterns spreading across his skin, teeth sharpening, and left eye shifting from green to a slit-pupiled yellow. His nails are long, sharp claws. He sets the jewelry down gently on the table between himself and the phone.]

After recovering from my own injuries, I turned myself in to the appropriate authorities, and received sentencing. I regret my actions, and I do not pose any public danger. However, I understand that my past crimes may cause others to be uncomfortable in my presence, and should you wish to withdraw yourself or any child for whom you are responsible from my classes, I can recommend either Lavi or Kusanagi Izumo as a substitute instructor. I will transfer any records to the instructor of your choice.

If you have any questions, I will do my best to answer them.

[He reaches for the cuffs again and fixes them back in place on his ear, appearance swiftly returning to a simulacrum of humanity, before he reaches out to shut down the video.]

Comments

[reformedsinner]

[Very, very much someone to keep an eye on.]

Then I suppose you can let him know I'm flattered that he seems to think I'm strong, Mikan.

Don't give him the phone back just yet, though. Perhaps a cup of tea first.

from komaeda's phone

[discerp]

The place where we're from Hope and Despair are something always warring with each other. Komaeda-san is deeply invested in the side of hope. He means well, honest.

For him, it really was a big compliment! Even if it might seem backhanded or cruel, I'm sure he didn't mean it like that.

But I do think you are strong too.

[reformedsinner]

I suspect the same battle plays out in many of us. Although perhaps not so literally as it seems to for you?

[The topic of Hakkai's strength: also one he doesn't really want to put on the table.

He's not feeling too strong at the moment. Besides, all these conversations are unpleasantly public.]

[discerp]

It's the ultimate sort of question, I suppose. Which is stronger? In the end, what will win? They feed into each other.

Anyway, please don't worry. I'll make sure Komaeda-san will behave himself! At least for this conversation. I'll make sure he says sorry too!

[She'll eventually climb her way off the poor boy and hand the phone back to him after this.]

[outsideinsight]

My lady, is this really something you should be associating with?

[Like a reasonable person, he’d never planned on commenting on something like this, but Mikan is kind of freaking him out here. Why is his goddess’s friend crazy? Why is she talking to a mass murderer? Why all of this? ]

from her own phone now

[discerp]

[Whoops hi Hisoka.]

I'm sorry if I worried you!

Komaeda-san is a precious classmate from where I was from before. We're the only ones here from our place, so someone has to look out for him!

[SINCE CLEARLY HE ISN'T CAPABLE HIMSELF. Look what happens when he's left to his own devices. LOOK, HISOKA.]

[outsideinsight]

I’m not worried. I’m just saying you should think carefully about how you get involved.

[ Maybe he doesn’t mean stop talking to the actual murderer and this could just be a general criticism of her approach to stopping her friend, but, no, he definitely does. ]

[discerp]

I'm careful! Komaeda-san is harmless! And I trust Hakkai-san well enough too. I think I'll be okay!

And I know all the pressure points to knock someone out if it comes down to it.

(∩`ω´)⊃))

[fortunesmiles]

[KOMAEDA'S PHONE HAS BEEN RESTORED TO ITS PROPER OWNER, the question of whether this was wise has yet to be answered.]

Tsumiki-san says I should apologize for saying strange things...I suppose I'm not a very good judge of what's strange.

She also told me to tell you that I'm sorry for what happened to you and your lover, and to not talk about hope this time! Which seems strange to me...but it's not like I'm lying about it, so I don't mind saying it if it's helpful?

[reformedsinner]

I've heard stranger. Thank you for the condolences, at least, Komaeda.

[fortunesmiles]

You're welcome! If they're any good to you, I'm glad.

It's just always been my experience that looking to the hope that any despair-filled situation brings is what helps the most. Nothing could be worse than having something terrible happen, and feeling as though it was completely meaningless and nothing good came from it at all...so I always focus on hope!

But Tsumiki-san says not everyone thinks of it that way...

[reformedsinner]

Unfortunately, sometimes it is completely meaningless and nothing good comes from it at all.

In those cases, I find a better route is to simply try to do better in the future, rather than focusing on reinterpreting the past.

[fortunesmiles]

To overcome the despair of something terrible and meaningless and to keep moving forward, to walk through the bleakness of the present toward the potential of something better over the horizon in the future...that's hope too, isn't it?

[reformedsinner]

Sometimes, it's just because it would be too embarrassing to lie down and die.

Don't discount pride. I believe it's even stronger than hope.

[fortunesmiles]

Oh, no, hope is definitely stronger. I've survived without pride, but living without hope...that would kill me.

[reformedsinner]

As they say, "One man's trash is another man's treasure."

[fortunesmiles]

Is pride actually worth living for, or is it just that it makes the thought of dying too distasteful?

[reformedsinner]

The latter, of course.

[fortunesmiles]

I had a feeling.

To consider death so distasteful...it's rather strange to think you're too good for something you've inflicted on so many others. Does that mean you look down on those who've died?

[reformedsinner]

Not at all. I'm just the sort of petty person who can't accept it even when I lose a game of cards.

I'm not recommending my approach, you understand.

[fortunesmiles]

Painting death as losing still kind of sounds like you're looking down on the dead...I know they call it loss, but I don't think they mean it quite that way when they say that, you know...

[reformedsinner]

Most people fight to live, so isn't death losing that fight?

Of course, it's not a fight that anyone can win.

[fortunesmiles]

Unless, perhaps, one ceases to be merely human?

[reformedsinner]

Even gods can die.

[fortunesmiles]

Now, did I say anything about gods...?

But then you've proven that youkai can die quite easily too, haven't you?