Heaven's BBS | Text

[deniles]

Posted by: Anonymous
Date: July 3rd

- - -

ATTENTION ALL SINGLES

Are you having trouble in love?

Are you missing out on relationships?

Wonder why your significant other left you?

Worry and wonder no longer, with the first book, from the man of romance, 'Secrets to Love; The Art of Being a Romantic' by author 'Zero'.

Learn great first date tips, and how to score a 'home run', if you know what I mean. Enjoy long term love advice, and truths about what love really means.

Order yours today, or buy it in your local bookstore.


[ooc: it's all advice you can get from the internet, Niles is being an asshole again.]

Comments

[bartenderizing]

...
.

who the hell would order a book like that
especially by someone named zero?

[ WHY IS HE GETTING SPAM. CAN'T THE DEAD REST IN PEACE? ]

[deniles]

[NO NEVER.]

Out of pure desperation in searching for love.
Shall I put you down for one? Two? Maybe more?

[bartenderizing]

[ This afterlife is really hell. ]

none dammit

in what way does it sound like i wanted the damn thing?

[deniles]

I felt like being generous, since you must have a terrible love life. Or life in general.

[Only with Niles.]

[bartenderizing]

given that were dead

no shit

[ YOU'RE NOT FUNNY save for where Niles is, to a completely different audience ]

[deniles]

Being dead is no reason not to have any fun.

[he's hilarious tyvm which audience exactly]

[bartenderizing]

i have plenty of fun

this has nothing to do with that

[ No way, definitely not. Anyone that isn't Shizuo, duh ]

[deniles]

I'm sure you do once you pull that stick out of your ass.

[Just saying. success.]

[bartenderizing]

how about i beat the shit out of yours instead

[ Shizuo why. Your temper. We can't expect anything less. ]

[deniles]

Kinky for a first date. I expect dinner first.

[because then this happens. Suckless.]

[bartenderizing]

your the kind of jackass that likes pissing ppl off for fun arent you

[ It's really unfair. Niles is too good at what he enjoys and Shizuo's an easy target. Especially when he's the one that responds to this post. ]

[deniles]

I'm just a friendly author selling helpful advice. Maybe you should relax a little bit.

[Shizuo is an easy and v. attractive target and Niles likes that pairing a lot. He'll just have to get Shizuo to respond to a hell of a lot more things then]

[bartenderizing]

i think ur full of shit

[ He definitely has a lot of luck from being those two things- both good and bad. Sounds like the beginning to a wonderful game ]

[deniles]

I'd rather be full of other things first.

[For Niles, it's all good luck to him. May the best asshole win.]

[bartenderizing]

uh.... what?

[ Shizuo doesn't pick up on things like that. Especially through text. He's more of a simpleton than an asshole. Niles has the clear advantage here. ]

[deniles]

Starts with a c, ends with a k.

[DOES THAT MAKE IT CLEARER? Yes but Shizuo is extremely attractive.]

[bartenderizing]

...

yeah were done here

[ Clear enough for him to back away from all of this. Being attractive is part of why he attracts so much trouble. Wait until Niles actually sees him. ]

[deniles]

And here I thought we were just getting started.

[You're not going anywhere. Niles is going to want to climb him like a tree]

[bartenderizing]

no

[ Clearly this means that Niles will have to find dat ass Shizuo outside and off the boards. Like in a certain log post ]

[deniles]

Oh? Scared?

[which you should link because i'm old]

[bartenderizing]

ive got actual things to do. which is also why im done with this

[ A link it is ]