thefarshore | (Heaven's BBS)

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(Heaven's BBS)

Posted: July 24th
From: Dali

Have you ever been in love before? Was it returned?

Do you think some are meant to be alone?

(These are the thoughts she entertains when her temple is quiet and her fires burn low.)

You need not get into specifics if it is uncomfortable for you.

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I've had plenty of romances over the years but not really love, I think. But when you're constantly on the road, it's not really practical anyway.

I don't think anyone is meant to be alone, but it might be too complicated to be with someone, sometimes.

[ When you're an outlaw, you don't want to drag the people you love into your shit. Though he's not going to say that just like that. ]

Edited 2017-06-14 19:06 (UTC)

No, I can see how that would be difficult.

You had some choice in whether you had companionship or not, at least. I was not given such freedom.

(Arranged marriages are not a pleasant topic for her.)

Some people are sadly not. If you take a lover you could choose that person for yourself though. You could focus your attention on them instead of your spouse.

[ Says the guy who was raised to believe in the sanctity of marriage.

But he also believes in divorce and that love can run out and knows about arranged marriages well enough. ]

Or you could do a plural marriage.

That is improper! Arranged marriages are not always comfortable (or desired) but I would not resort to betraying my husband. (Not unless said husband is Ramsay Bolton again. What's left of him, anyway. There are better ways to dispose of a spouse.)

Plural marriage?

Maybe it is, but it proper doesn’t really need to matter. Caring about proper isn’t important if you’re unhappy.

It means you marry more than one person at the same time. It was pretty common back in my day. At least among people with my family’s faith.

[ But there were laws against it and the people who married more than one person had to leave the country. He helped with that as a kid. ]

I could not imagine marrying more than one person at once. I think you must have a very close bond with them for it to work. (She could barely handle being betrothed or married to one at a time.) Many spouses are unhappy. Cheating is still looked down upon.

This is why I refuse to marry again without love.

Yeah, generally. I've noticed that's not always the case though don't tell my parents that I broke up a few relationships that wasn't good on all of them. [ Both his parents are, though, in the time this world is in, dead long ago. It must be at least a century since. ] I'm aware it is, but if cheating was mutual and people didn't look down on in, even arranged marriages without love would be happier for it.

I think that's a good decision. Marrying at all isn't something I'd personally do, but I'm a supporter of love marriages.

If the relationships weren't good, as you say, I do not see the harm of seeing them broken. Then again, should not that decision be left to those involved?

I suppose, but what of any children produced by the cheating? Would they be true heirs or bastards? (The difference is extreme in Westeros. She realizes how hard it has been on her brother, Jon, all these years.)

As am I. Thank you for regarding them as a possibility. I find that comforting.

Maybe, but I never could ignore people being unhappy. And I was 10 and thereabouts, so I couldn’t do a lot, and it didn't take much either, in most cases.

In my opinion it doesn’t matter, they’re still family, and family should be treasured. What the world thinks doesn’t matter as much as people think it does, it’s up to the family and the people who care about the children.

There are probably a lot of people who does. There are people from all over here, so there are bound to be people with such opinions. A lot of places are headed for more love rather than convenience, probably.

That must have been very difficult on you. A child would feel helpless in that situation and be eager to do all possible to rectify the problem.

But the children have to enter the world eventually and face those poor opinions. I agree with you that family is family, but I did not always think so. Once I thought less of my bastard brother; I treated him poorly and made him feel like an outsider. I was given a chance to rectify my mistake and I am grateful he accepted.

That still doesn't change how the world - my world - sees him, unfortunately.

I hope you are right.

Yeah. And I suppose I’ve sort of stayed that way, even now. Even after 30 years I want to help if there’s anything I can do. Which should at least be a little more than back then.

That you did that, to make up for it somehow, probably means a lot to him.

Yeah, a lot of change is probably needed. It’s a sad reality that a lot of people don’t have an open mind, but they are able to change just as the world around them is.

So do I.

You have taken a negative situation and turned it positive. I think that is very admirable.

I hope it does. He was so protective of me without me asking. I want to be there for him.

(Jon did what was right. Like their father would have done. Some might think it foolish to charge headlong into a battle where the odds are against you, but if no one stands up for what they believe in, where does that leave honor? And integrity?)

I know change is possible. I only wish they wanted it.

You got to do that with life sometimes. It’s not going to always be easy, but getting down about it all the time is not productive nor fun.

If you’ve made up your mind on it you can do it.

Sometimes people need some convincing.

You are absolutely right. I let myself become a victim of sorts to too many. Yes, what they did to me was wrong, but my reaction did not help matters. I can be strong; I can overcome what was done.

How would you convince them?

You can, yes. Being upset about something is alright, being strong all the time is not possible, but giving the one who hurt you a blow where it hurts the most is pretty satisfying.

That depends on what they’re like. Different people will listen to different arguments, some need more than others. But honesty and proof, those can be pretty useful a lot of times.

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