thefarshore | Heaven's BBS

Entry tags:

Heaven's BBS | Audio

From: Asato Tsuzuki
Posted: July 14, 2016

Hey! Um... so I've been thinking about this for a couple of days, but I heard....

[He trails off before regrouping. He should've rehearsed this before he started recording it, but he's got no idea how to go back and delete and re-record now. Onward!]

I heard I used to be a god! I mean, I don't remember, obviously, but if I really was, I guess I should say I'm sorry. And I look forward to meeting you all again. And, um.

[Really should have rehearsed.]

I don't owe anybody money, right?

[He laughs uncomfortably and rushes ahead.]

-- Anyway I guess that's about it! Nice to meet you all again! Sorry I forgot!

[Nailed it. Before he can think better of this whole idea, he hastily stops the recording and hits send.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Nothing at all.

[He's silent for a moment before, hesitantly, continuing.

... Did I know you? I mean -- some people have said they knew me. It's fine. I'm just-- you know. I'm just sorry I don't remember.

Oh, it's okay to say so, then... [Even so, she didn't say anything right away. If she didn't talk about it at all, she could at least pretend there was nothing wrong for a while. Her next words came out in a very small voice.]

I'm--um, was--a shinki of yours while you were a god.

Oh.

I -- oh. Wow.

[On the plus side, this baffled and horrified silence definitely isn't the sound of anybody turning into an ayakashi! On the minus side --

He swallows, imagining what that would be like. If Sakura disappeared, and came back later, having totally forgotten him. And he's only been with her for a week so far. So that's what he's done to her.]

I'm so sorry.

[The silence gave her more time to think though, which wasn't at all a good thing in this case. It wasn't hard at all to tell that he was troubled by this, for one thing. Maybe she just shouldn't have brought it up. She didn't like knowing that the reason for his reaction was all her fault.]

It's okay! Really! [She was very lucky that he couldn't tell what she was feeling behind those cheery words.] I know you didn't mean to, so don't be sad about it, okay...?

Even if I didn't mean to, that's awful, though!

Look, I -- um. [He doesn't know how to make it better. He can't just remember, and he can't make it go away, but...]

... So your name's Lilka, right?

[If the names on here are right, and they usually are, for shinki.]

I'm glad to meet you again.

[The only answer she could give right away was the telltale sound of a sniffle. Oh dear. Pull yourself together, Lilka!]

Me too. W-welcome back...

[A pause.] But if you're a shinki now, that means you died and that's not good... I don't want you to die but I'm still glad I got to meet you again, you know? [Her starting to babble was not helped by her voice cracking.]

Yeah, but even if I died, it's okay, I'm still here! I didn't go anywhere.

[If that makes any sense. He has the sneaking feeling it doesn't. His voice softens, reassuringly.]

I'm glad I got to meet you again too. Um... maybe we can be friends? Even if I'm not your god anymore....

I don't really get it, but that's okay. I think.

[If Tsuzuki said it was okay, all she could really do was believe that.]

We can be friends! It's not like we have to be god and shinki to do that! It'd be pretty lonely around here if that's how it had to be...

Yeah, it would, huh? I like my goddess, but having just one friend would get lonely fast.

[He hadn't meant even if we're not god and shinki as much as he'd meant even though I forgot you and it's got to hurt; but he'll go with her response. He doesn't want to make it any worse.]

[It was certainly a lot easier to stop herself from getting overly upset if she avoided putting it in those terms, too. Whether she was conscious of that was another story.]

But you know... I wonder if there really are gods and goddesses out there who have nora because they're lonely.

... Maybe so. It'd be especially lonely not to have a shinki, I bet.

Is that because lots of gods have shinki and they'd feel left out because they don't have one?

More like, being in one of those big temples all alone... shinki can always just go get a new god if they have to, right? I heard any god could name us.

Oh...right. [She could just imagine how lonely that would be. The thought was so unpleasant that she didn't want to linger on that thought for too long.]

Well, that's right... But I don't think it's as easy to get a new god as you're making it sound.

Really?

[He doesn't want to ask, but he needs to, at the same time. He likes Sakura, he doesn't want anything to happen to Sakura, but it sounds like... things happen. Sometimes. So.]

Um -- when I -- how'd you find a new one?

Um... I just got assigned to a new god. [While she hadn't had much choice in the matter, that wasn't the scary part. Anyway.]

But I'd never met them before, so I don't know how they decide that stuff.

Oh. [He hesitates for a moment before blurting-- look, he feels really bad about this, he can't help himself--]

Are they nice?

[She was quiet. How was she supposed to answer that? At the very least, it was an awkward conversation to have with her previous god.]

He's not mean but he's kind of hard to talk to...

That's tough. ... But maybe it'll get easier! As long as he's nice.

[Not mean is the same thing as nice, right.]

Maybe... [Wait. Hoooold on a second.]

It'll be okay though! Don't worry about me!

It's kind of my job to worry about you, though, right?

Huh? [Tsuzuki no she's going to start bawling if you keep that up!!]

N-no way! I want people to smile and laugh instead of worry about me!

I'm pretty good at multi-tasking. I can smile and keep an eye out for you.

I mean, it's only fair.

[a pause. Really, this conversation was getting to be familiar enough that it wouldn't be so hard to forget that he didn't remember her. Even pretending that was the case felt better than the reality.]

Then... I won't get in trouble so you'll be able to spend more time smiling! That still makes it fair, right?

That sounds like a win-win to me.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Heaven's BBS | Audio

audio

audio

audio

audio

audio

audio

audio

audio

audio

audio

audio

audio

audio

audio

audio

audio

audio

audio

audio

audio

audio

audio

audio

audio

audio