Heaven's BBS | Text | This is Probably a Bad Idea

[justclaws]

From: Chiyou
Date: June 14

I do not think this is the time for beach parties. Half of us cannot remember who we are. Those of us who know a shinki's past could kill them with a single word, without ever meaning for them to come to harm. This should not be accepted as normal without so much as an explanation as to why it is necessary.

What reason could there possibly be to strip someone of all memory?

Why does nobody seem to know what is going on?

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[maidhem]

Dear Curious Person,

I admit that I don't know much about everything yet, but I think there's a very good reason for all of this. We just don't know what it is-- but that doesn't mean that we won't be able to find out someday.

It might be smart to remember that having faith is about trusting that things will work out for the best, even if we don't understand how.

And, for those of us who lost our memories...I want to think that this is another chance for us to do something to help everyone. Not remembering the things that would give us pain or make us have regrets can only be helpful, right?

Sincerely your's,

Felicia

[justclaws]

I do not think that is enough though. If there is a good reason for this, the least whoever brought us all here could do is share it. They were the ones who took us from our homes and our friends. They should at least have the courtesy to explain why.

Losing all your memories seems too high a price to pay for living without regrets. And I do not understand why speaking of the past should have to be so dangerous.

[Ask me about the time I accidentally blighted one of my closest friends by saying his name.]

[maidhem]

But, what if the person who lost their memories was a very sad or angry person in life? Carrying those feelings over would only hurt the people they're close to, and they'd never have the opportunity to grow into the person they were meant to become-- if that's really part of the reasons.

....Besides that, it might be possible that the person responsible for all of this would very much like to tell us, but can't for reasons we don't even know about. Maybe asking all of this is putting that person in danger, too.

We can't really say. There's a lot here to learn, and probably a lot that we don't even know to ask about.

[justclaws]

I would much rather know who I am and face the consequences of that knowledge than have to live in fear of my own past. Besides, if a man had been sad or angry in themselves, surely he would retain that aspect of himself here? He simply would not know why he was angry. I fail to see the advantages of such a position.

It cannot be that dangerous for whoever brought us here to do so, or they would never have done it so publicly. Even if it is, do we not at least have the right to know that for sure, instead of relying on guesswork?

[maidhem]

But, that's where faith and trust come in. Maybe this isn't the right time for those answers to come out. We don't know.

And, speaking personally, I don't feel like I need my memories to know who I am. Everything I need to know I already have in my heart-- and, I know that a position like the one I'm in is really the best thing I ever could imagine for myself.

Helping someone do something important, something that they coudn't do as well on their own? It's a very nice feeling.

I really couldn't ask for more.

[justclaws]

If it is not the right time, then they can tell us that. They are telling us nothing at all.

I understand what you are saying about your role. I know that feeling myself.

Do all shinki feel the way you do? I cannot remember, I am not sure. Maybe some are happy and grateful to be given a second chance, but they have also mentioned that they feel afraid when they try to think of themselves and where they might have come from... I only wish I could remember what I felt, last time, I think it would make help me sense of things. Why do I not remember that, either? All I can tell is that whoever is in charge here understands how important memory can be.

I am not sure this is a good thing.

[maidhem]

Please don't get any funny ideas. I don't speak for anyone but myself. If others want to share their thoughts too, then that's just what they want to do.

But-- and I'm being honest here-- whenever I do try to think about the times before I met my Lady, I get the feeling that I didn't have any reason to be upset. Maybe others feel different, but that was enough for me to feel like my life right now is okay.

And, besides that, what would I even do with myself if I didn't have such a kind person to stand beside? I think I'd break all the tea cups in Akihabara before I got through just one day!

[justclaws]

I imagine that it must help, to know that your companion is kind and that you have a purpose. I am glad that you have found happiness here, though. I hope there are many more like you.

But then, would a lot of it not come down to how we as Gods behave? Though I am not sure how positive a change that is, either. Men were not meant to wield such power. Perhaps the best we can do is try to wield it wisely, and hope that whoever is choosing what side we fall on is doing so wisely. Though they must be Gods, too, and perhaps we were never meant to understand their reasons for doing the things they do?

[... and maybe I should have thought of that before I wrote all this.

[Whoops.]

[maidhem]

That is why you should trust that everything will work out, Curious Person.

And why you should be aware of how many people will be looking to you for guidance when they have questions of their own. After all, don't gods exist because of the wishes of the people?

[Felicia may not be the most brilliant or intelligent Shinki in the Far Shore, but she does understand rules and the way the heart works. Some things really aren't that different between a God and a Lord, it seems.]

[justclaws]

But is that not the other way round? Surely the people exist because of the wishes of the Gods.

[Except--

[This was so much easier when there was only one set of Gods.]

Other Gods, that is. Not us.

[Proper ones.]

[maidhem]

I'm not sure; all I know is that I heard somewhere that the gods owe their continued lives to the people who believe in them enough to ask for help.

It would be terrible to exist and have no one acknowledge you, don't you think?