[text] serious questions from serious people (aka hey look it's a shitpost)

[redotiertwo]

Posted: June 14th
From: Davesprite

ok so
ive been thinking about this for a while but how exactly the fuck does this whole belief to god system work here anyway
i mean we have gods here that nobody except ancient history nerd basement cultists should be worshipping
riding high when some of the big names are spectacular only in their absence
and then theres the question of what bar you have to pass to be considered a god
like where the fuck are our incarnations of the flying spaghetti monster and ceiling cat
or less tragically dated memes
come on people they have religious texts too

[He's been relearning meme culture since he rediscovered it, someone stop him.]

i guess im not that faithful a person because the whole thing seems like grade a spun bullshit to me
but maybe someone can make more sense out of this most gordian of knots

discuss

Comments

From: Bastet

[shortprogram]

don't gods have different aspects and shit?
maybe i'm ceiling cat

[redotiertwo]

im
im going to give you a minute to just
go to your image search bar
and type in ceiling cat
and tell me the first thing that shows up

ill make some popcorn while you do

[shortprogram]

that meme is older than i am

trust me i've seen shit i'll never unsee

do you know what international sporting events are like

it's a miracle i'm not blind

[redotiertwo]

oh my god
im so sorry but in the im also laughing horribly behind my keyboard at your misfortune way

i mean that is always the great thing about sports
were getting all this testosterone up in here for the manly men to get pissed and brawl a blue fucking streak through town about
until someone suggests that all the muscular sweaty guys getting their hands all over each other might be just a little bit not completely heterosexual
and then you get out of the fucking way before a mob of frothingly insane insecure sports bros try to break you in half

[shortprogram]

i'm a figure skater

[redotiertwo]

im still willing to bet someone has tried to argue guys ice dancing in spandex as the red blooded testosterone pinnacle of sports

that said figure skating is hardcore so you know
thats actually pretty cool

[shortprogram]

there are idiots like that

they jump around the ice for four minutes and get their asses destroyed in their pcs scores

sometimes the technical points make up for it and they get it in their head that they're actually good at this

or the judges decide to pat their ass and pad their scores so they dont feel bad about themselves

[redotiertwo]

damn
sounds like your judges need to get on the level of tacky talent show hosts
get that bad judge in there to crush the hopes and dreams of guys who think they can ride on through on the basis of jumping around like this is the international pogo finals and not an ice rink

after consulting the internet on how ice skating scoring works though im now kind of
morbidly curious
about what a routine that unabashedly garbage on actual performance aspects looks like

[shortprogram]

like some dick waving his arms around while he builds up speed to do jumps

maybe some shitty miming if he wants to pretend he actually has a story he's trying to tell

never changing his facial expression so he either always looks constipated or like hes gonna take a selfie any second right there on the ice

[redotiertwo]

fucking majestic
you know what youve inspired me
im going on a shitty ice skating videos binge tonight
it was meant to be

[shortprogram]

i wish i could tell you what to watch

i dont think anyone i know is going to be on youtube here

and i dont want to give out names because of the whole shinki thing anyway

[redotiertwo]

a grand shame but your consideration is appreciated
i can text you any notably majestic shitshows if you want

right the history clause
yeah best to keep a lid on that then
not worth risking anyones life

[shortprogram]

yeah i wanna see the trainwrecks

watching actual good performances would probably just piss me off

[redotiertwo]

i like the cut of your jib
if i find any actual good performances the internet wouldnt be doing its job right anyway
im delving for the trashest of the trash here
the pinnacle of the frosy shitpile the likes of which cannot truly be fathomed by mortal man
only performed by them

[shortprogram]

you should look for exhibition programs too

people play it safe with technical elements but they can do whatever they want with music and themes

you really wonder what the fuck some people are thinking

[redotiertwo]

duly noted
i need to go out and actually get some popcorn for this instead of metaphorical reaction popcorn
this is shaping up to be a night of nights