thefarshore | Heaven's BBS | Text & Video ~ A Stolen Voice

Posted: May 21st
From: Sousuke Yamazaki

What are shinki?

I’ve not been here long, so I don’t know the truth. Apparently no shinki can. But I’ve experienced enough.

I don’t like it.

We’re shinki. We weren’t told anything upon our arrival. All we knew is that we’re dead and know nothing else. Other shinki probably had the same experience I did: stumble around until someone told me I had to find a god or something before something bad happened to me. We have to rely on whatever our gods tell us as the truth. We’re told we’re supposed to help our gods with their duties and wants and protect them or fight for them. We can’t exist without you; gods give us form and prevent us from fading away. We have to depend on you to survive.

So what are we to you?

I have a god. A Master. He tells me that I’m human more than I’m his shinki. I don’t know if I believe him entirely.

Not all Masters are like that, are they. Some don’t care what a shinki feels. I guess that’s not far from the truth though. After all, shinki are really nothing more than tools to gods. Gods can pick us up simply because they want something from us. Maybe you feel good having us at your side because you think we remind you of something. Maybe you want us because we’re useful to you or you like our looks or fit your fighting style or powers.

But if it doesn’t work out, if we piss our gods off or don’t please them, they’re allowed to discard us like a broken item. Gods can even cycle through us one after another until they’ve found the perfect tool to fit their current needs. And when you’re done, you can throw us away until you’re ready to use us again. Or left to wander for someone else to maybe pick up before we fade away into nothing.

And we have no choice but to come when you call us whether we want to or not. Because we’re nothing without you. We’re valuable possessions to keep close or useful but expendable objects to get the job done.

I don’t know if all gods are aware of this; I know the shinki aren’t. Gods can even steal shinki from another god without asking. Force a new name upon us and give us a new form and power. And if we’re stubborn, apparently blackmail and threats are just as effective. Or you can simply hurt us until we break or get rid of us because we’re not working as you want. Like we’re some kind of toy for your amusement.

We’re told we’re entering a partnership with our gods, but in reality, it only goes one way. We have to choose between vanishing or living as a weapon, companion, prize, tool, whatever, for a god we don’t even know.

If you’re a shinki, think about this. If you’re a god, ask yourself why you have a shinki.

[A video feed flicks on. A full moon glows yellow in the sky above, encircled by spiraling clouds. The edge of a sakura tree billows pink and gentle at one side of the screen, releasing ghost-light sakura petals into the winds that carry them away. It’s silent, some for himself to gather his thoughts, some for letting whoever’s listening to him think. Maybe it is rambling, but the experience he went through…]

So what are our rights? Does anyone want to tell me how this is supposed to work?

All of this may not be something some of you gods care about.

But the shinki should know.

[His is a quiet voice, deep like the dark waters far below the surface of the sea.]

I’m aware I’m probably a rare case; most of the gods I’ve met seem decent. Some of you say you’d never act like I’ve described or think like this towards a shinki. That we can trust you. But we don’t know you. So how can we trust you? Ultimately we have to trust our gods because we don’t know anything else. Whether you use that to your advantage or not is up to you.

It’s a disgusting feeling to know you’re powerless against someone else. I can be stolen and wielded by any god who wants me, regardless of how I feel about it. And if I don’t want that, I have to eternally stick by my Master’s side like a frightened child. We’re not free; we can’t even rely on ourselves because our powers, beyond the borderline, is useless unless directed by a god. I didn’t want this, I don’t know if any shinki does.

[A quiet breath seeps backwards above the screen and the edge of a shirt sleeve flutters into view on one side of the screen. Sousuke’s leaning against the wall beside the window, not in sight, but obviously here if someone feels like talking.]

And if any of you gods haven’t yet learned how to track or trace your shinki, you should start working on that now. Otherwise you're going to find yourself out a useful tool for a while simply because some other god wants to do something different for a change.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[ being claimed by another god has never really crossed his mind... he never really knew it was possible, and honestly, he never really considered it a concern. dealing with Makoto being his god was enough for him. but now knowing that it was possible to be claimed by another god left a bad taste in his mouth. he was starting to become just as wary of these gods, if anything.

whether or not he'd thank Sousuke for enlightening him and all the other shinkis was a different story, though. ]

Can we even fight back? Especially if some of these gods are that powerful?

[ at the mention of compromise, Haru goes silent, his mind going back to his conversation with Makoto. ] ... I don't think a compromise will work.

[He knows this guy's Makoto's shinki. Though he doesn't know Makoto really well (like everyone else here besides Rin and Goten), he's always thought to himself Makoto's shinki would be happy with him. But... Obviously that can't be the case. Not if these questions are coming. It's a strange feeling, trying to talk to or maybe give advice to someone he doesn't like.

On the one hand, he can definitely tell Haru to fight for his rights as a shinki. But on the other hand, the disgust and revulsion that comes from being forced to betray his own god and serve as someone's shinki against his will is a powerful enough trump over his own pride that it's hard to encourage a shinki to buck against as god's tracking them.

Being wary of the gods is only a start; there are two "evils" here and one of them is obviously the lesser of the pair. Irksome as it is.]

Some shinki, apparently, feel they're strong enough to fight against gods.

[He doesn't see how that's possible, unless there's a match up of strong shinki versus weak god. 'Weak' in this case being a god that either can't break through the shinki's borderline, though he doesn't know if that will stop a god's ability to name, since it's voice and will rather than anything physical.]

Unless there's a way for a shinki to fight back or refuse to be named, a compromise may be all we have.

[ maybe other shinki would have been happy with Makoto... Haru, however, is a "special snowflake". mostly in the sense that he's not impressed that easily, and his first impression of Makoto was far from positive. their relationship hasn't been entirely stellar, and while it seemed tame briefly and even showed signs of moving upwards at one point, it all came crashing back down in the blink of an eye.

he wants answers. a reason why he should be okay with being forced to be someone's shinki. but instead he's been given empty answers and restraint and he's not happy one bit. he wonders if anyone would be happy if they were in this sort of predicament, really. considering how Sousuke is questioning everything at the moment, he's assuming no one (in their right mind, at least) would.

at the mention of fighting against the gods, Haru's fist clenches. he's not a fighter. just the thought of it is far from appealing to him. so that's pretty much a dead end. he heaves an annoyed sigh at the second part. ]

... I guess I'll just keep my distance for now.

[What shinki indeed would be happy with this life if they actually thought about it for more than a few seconds? Sure, the alternative to serving a god was to wander around forever or eventually fade away into nothing, either by time or being consumed by an ayakashi or even turning into one of those monsters in the first place. So a horrible end versus serving a god and relying on that god for life in basically every format. They have a great set of options there…

Of course he’s going to question everything about that. Even if Sousuke’s quietly, reluctantly working alongside the rules because he’d rather not die (again), he remains skeptical, not wanting to simply roll over and take it. Especially since he’s had such a violation dragged across him without his want. Answers, reasons, all those things will have to come in time. For now, he at least wants to make a statement, get people thinking… and then deal with the inevitable fallout.

His relationship with Rin is a strange thing; as he’s told people before, he has no ill will towards Rin as a person (sure he’s a little weird sometimes). But the principle of their relationship, Sousuke’s pride, Rin’s frustrations, the silence between them in forgotten memories and dangerous answers, all of it makes that partnership a strained thing that’s trying to fight its way upstream if it wants to have some semblance of positive.

Haru’s answer is expected and final.]

As much as you can. We’ll see if this wakes anyone up or gets changes…

Heaven's BBS | Text & Video ~ A Stolen Voice

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shame on you, hurting makoto like that ... (why are they so similar?)

LOOK he wants to be free.... (seriously tho...) also 10 years later orz

So does he! He's just not as rude... (hmph)