thefarshore | Heaven's BBS | Text & Video ~ A Stolen Voice

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Heaven's BBS | Text & Video ~ A Stolen Voice

Posted: May 21st
From: Sousuke Yamazaki

What are shinki?

I’ve not been here long, so I don’t know the truth. Apparently no shinki can. But I’ve experienced enough.

I don’t like it.

We’re shinki. We weren’t told anything upon our arrival. All we knew is that we’re dead and know nothing else. Other shinki probably had the same experience I did: stumble around until someone told me I had to find a god or something before something bad happened to me. We have to rely on whatever our gods tell us as the truth. We’re told we’re supposed to help our gods with their duties and wants and protect them or fight for them. We can’t exist without you; gods give us form and prevent us from fading away. We have to depend on you to survive.

So what are we to you?

I have a god. A Master. He tells me that I’m human more than I’m his shinki. I don’t know if I believe him entirely.

Not all Masters are like that, are they. Some don’t care what a shinki feels. I guess that’s not far from the truth though. After all, shinki are really nothing more than tools to gods. Gods can pick us up simply because they want something from us. Maybe you feel good having us at your side because you think we remind you of something. Maybe you want us because we’re useful to you or you like our looks or fit your fighting style or powers.

But if it doesn’t work out, if we piss our gods off or don’t please them, they’re allowed to discard us like a broken item. Gods can even cycle through us one after another until they’ve found the perfect tool to fit their current needs. And when you’re done, you can throw us away until you’re ready to use us again. Or left to wander for someone else to maybe pick up before we fade away into nothing.

And we have no choice but to come when you call us whether we want to or not. Because we’re nothing without you. We’re valuable possessions to keep close or useful but expendable objects to get the job done.

I don’t know if all gods are aware of this; I know the shinki aren’t. Gods can even steal shinki from another god without asking. Force a new name upon us and give us a new form and power. And if we’re stubborn, apparently blackmail and threats are just as effective. Or you can simply hurt us until we break or get rid of us because we’re not working as you want. Like we’re some kind of toy for your amusement.

We’re told we’re entering a partnership with our gods, but in reality, it only goes one way. We have to choose between vanishing or living as a weapon, companion, prize, tool, whatever, for a god we don’t even know.

If you’re a shinki, think about this. If you’re a god, ask yourself why you have a shinki.

[A video feed flicks on. A full moon glows yellow in the sky above, encircled by spiraling clouds. The edge of a sakura tree billows pink and gentle at one side of the screen, releasing ghost-light sakura petals into the winds that carry them away. It’s silent, some for himself to gather his thoughts, some for letting whoever’s listening to him think. Maybe it is rambling, but the experience he went through…]

So what are our rights? Does anyone want to tell me how this is supposed to work?

All of this may not be something some of you gods care about.

But the shinki should know.

[His is a quiet voice, deep like the dark waters far below the surface of the sea.]

I’m aware I’m probably a rare case; most of the gods I’ve met seem decent. Some of you say you’d never act like I’ve described or think like this towards a shinki. That we can trust you. But we don’t know you. So how can we trust you? Ultimately we have to trust our gods because we don’t know anything else. Whether you use that to your advantage or not is up to you.

It’s a disgusting feeling to know you’re powerless against someone else. I can be stolen and wielded by any god who wants me, regardless of how I feel about it. And if I don’t want that, I have to eternally stick by my Master’s side like a frightened child. We’re not free; we can’t even rely on ourselves because our powers, beyond the borderline, is useless unless directed by a god. I didn’t want this, I don’t know if any shinki does.

[A quiet breath seeps backwards above the screen and the edge of a shirt sleeve flutters into view on one side of the screen. Sousuke’s leaning against the wall beside the window, not in sight, but obviously here if someone feels like talking.]

And if any of you gods haven’t yet learned how to track or trace your shinki, you should start working on that now. Otherwise you're going to find yourself out a useful tool for a while simply because some other god wants to do something different for a change.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

It's like there was a shift in a gear, or going down a different set of train tracks or...however else you want to put it. I mean the jelly ayakashi at the school, and the one that was draining the town. I've heard of one that was modified too, a month back.

I'm not sure if my god can do either. I haven't asked him. I have learned how to make a borderline though.

[But she will, and make sure to practice her borderline. Maybe...actually...]

If you want, we can practice together. Our borderlines, that is. That way, you can feel...safer, maybe, even with having your god covering your back.

And thank you for telling us this. I didn't even think of someone trying to steal me.

[And...since she's planning to for another...]

I'm glad that he is treating you well then. This is going to seem like a strange request, but...you and Rin. What are your favourite muffins?

Modified? I’ve seen a strange one myself but nothing beyond that. I’ve heard they can be dangerous. How do you know they don’t normally look like this? [Meaning he wondered if she’d seen ayakashi before. Because he certainly hasn’t.]

Ask him next time you see him. And keep training on your borderline. [Because those two things are going to be important if she wants to avoid dealing with people trying to steal her. In his opinion at least.]

Together? If your god is fine with that, I’ll ask. [Considering this whole mess, he wonders if gods are going to be fine with having their shinki wander off alone for a while, especially to go visit other gods. Just a thought, but he’ll entertain her offer.]

Aa. Hopefully no one will be stolen again. [Though give him a moment to pause at that random question. Yes, it’s pretty strange. He hesitates for a while, kind of blindsided by it. But eventually gets an answer up.]

I have no idea. Never thought about it.

Something from the god's world was added to the ayakashi, from what I hear, and they went wild during a gods picnic. That's what I've been told.

I don't know all the variants of ayakashi though. Just that these weren't supposed to exist.

But I will check with him, thanks. I'll have to check with him if it's all right to use the temple grounds, but I'm sure he'll be fine with it-especially if it's to keep me safe.

[It's more to check with a housemate then asking permission because really, she knows he sleeps during the day, they're likely going to be noisy.]

But I do hope no one is stolen again. And we can make sure you're never stolen, ever again.

Well...I guess I'm going to end up surprising both of you. Which god is he?

Something from the god's world... That doesn't make any sense. But if that's what you heard, I'll tell my god about it. [Once they actually start to talk again...] So if these aren't supposed to exist, which ones are? Is it their power that's different or their looks? [It's likely she doesn't know, but he has to ask all the same.]

Aa. I'll think about it. [While he's not really the type to train with others, the event with the theft is making him rethink that "I can do by myself" opinion. Reluctantly.]

I want to be able to fight back and I'll do whatever I have to to make sure that happens. [Because he never wants to be in that situation again.]

Eros. Is this something you normally do? Make food for everyone?

From that particular gods world...I think it was supposed to be some sort of fusion, to make the ayakashi tame. But it didn't work out so well. Least, from what I understand. But...I think it's a little of both? The looks and the power.

Because the ayakashi I've seen around here? They're really weird looking.

But thanks. For your consideration. I'm sure we can do each other a lot of good. And I hope this might be able to empower you to take control of your life.

[Or after life, as it were. Too bad this isn't voice, or else he would have heard her laugh.]

Huh. Eros...I don't normally make food for everyone, but I was planning on making some as a thank you for someone else. And who doesn't love a muffin?

I want to know more about that if possible. Hopefully they'll let us know what they find out. ['They' being the higher gods or whoever's in charge of that attempted fusion.] Aa. I've seen one or two like that.

You're making an effort to help; it'd be rude to turn it down immediately. Hopefully this entire conversation will make shinki's lives better and help the relationship between gods and shinki. Before something like this happens again.

[Yeah he thought that same thing, "the life after" since they weren't really "alive" anymore, now were they.]

Aa. That's nice of you. And it depends on how they're made, I guess.

Hopefully they will. I'd like to know more myself.

Thanks for your consideration then. And I don't know who's reading this but I'm hoping that gods who thought of it before are reconsidering, and shinki are forewarned.

[Basically she agrees. With forewarning and the life there after.]

How they're made? What do you mean?

I think we all want to now.

It's nice of you to suggest that. I'll take you up on it privately. [He doesn't want to attend some group-shinki class practicing his borderline and such. Not yet anyhow.]

They've set up a strange system. It works on theory at least, but not very well if people's feelings are taken into account. [Since the set up is definitely dependent on a god or shinki's feelings about how "right" their positions are.

As for the muffins...]

No one likes a burnt or rock-hard muffin.

[For sure. Whether the information is shared is hard to know.]

All right, that's fair. Maybe some other time!

But I agree that the system is strange. I really don't get why it is the way it is.

Also I'll have you know that none of my food is burnt or rock hard. Or the wrong flavour. Though if you need to eat a few to be sure, I don't mind.

Aa. I'll contact you.

[It's not a denial or refusal. He simply has his pride and would rather not end up making mistakes in front of a crowd.]

I can see why it is the way it is. But it only works for people content with it.

[Oh? Well that's a little amusing.]

Tell me something. Did you remember how to cook or did it come to you naturally? You're a shinki after all. Just yes or no, don't think hard about it.

[Or they'd end up getting that nausea feeling again.]

I look forward to hearing from you.

[It's really all she can hope for. Hopefully he'll come around, and want to practice, private or no.]

True, and the system seems kind of rigid....ah.

[What a question...]

I was just thinking of what to make, and I just...knew how. Like you know how to walk.

[She is feeling a little queasy, slightly dreadful, but it goes away quickly.]

[That question gets that response and he recognizes it even in text form. Her answer's almost expected and he frowns as he reads it. But knowing the feeling she's going to get (because he deals with it too), Sousuke quickly drops the topic and goes elsewhere.]

Right. It's probably normal. Or we get it from our gods.

I'll keep an eye out for when you make the post about training. I can make borderlines, but I want to get better.

Apparently shinki can do more than borderlines too.

[It's a very unpleasant feeling; she's glad he's not asking anymore.]

Yeah, likely. But sure, that's great! I'll make sure to ask.

I've heard about lessons from Kazuma-san for that, but I haven't asked him yet. I want to have a good borderline before I start those, though.

If you're going to be getting a group together for training, it'd be better to have more than borderlines going on.

Some shinki are already skilled in them. Knowing we can do more than make borderlines might encourage others to practice harder.

I'd show the other spells, but I don't know them. I know that Kazuma-san does know them though.

I just haven't asked him yet. Nerves, I guess.

I wonder if anyone but Kazuma knows them. [He's the only one Sousuke's heard named in conjunction with that topic.]

It's all right. If it's just borderline, it's just borderline. [They can worry about the other things later. Basics first.]

I think so. Yukine, I think, and some others. Some people take classes with Kazuma, so there has to be others.

But yeah. Walk before run, that sort of thing.