thefarshore | Heaven's BBS | Text & Video ~ A Stolen Voice

Posted: May 21st
From: Sousuke Yamazaki

What are shinki?

I’ve not been here long, so I don’t know the truth. Apparently no shinki can. But I’ve experienced enough.

I don’t like it.

We’re shinki. We weren’t told anything upon our arrival. All we knew is that we’re dead and know nothing else. Other shinki probably had the same experience I did: stumble around until someone told me I had to find a god or something before something bad happened to me. We have to rely on whatever our gods tell us as the truth. We’re told we’re supposed to help our gods with their duties and wants and protect them or fight for them. We can’t exist without you; gods give us form and prevent us from fading away. We have to depend on you to survive.

So what are we to you?

I have a god. A Master. He tells me that I’m human more than I’m his shinki. I don’t know if I believe him entirely.

Not all Masters are like that, are they. Some don’t care what a shinki feels. I guess that’s not far from the truth though. After all, shinki are really nothing more than tools to gods. Gods can pick us up simply because they want something from us. Maybe you feel good having us at your side because you think we remind you of something. Maybe you want us because we’re useful to you or you like our looks or fit your fighting style or powers.

But if it doesn’t work out, if we piss our gods off or don’t please them, they’re allowed to discard us like a broken item. Gods can even cycle through us one after another until they’ve found the perfect tool to fit their current needs. And when you’re done, you can throw us away until you’re ready to use us again. Or left to wander for someone else to maybe pick up before we fade away into nothing.

And we have no choice but to come when you call us whether we want to or not. Because we’re nothing without you. We’re valuable possessions to keep close or useful but expendable objects to get the job done.

I don’t know if all gods are aware of this; I know the shinki aren’t. Gods can even steal shinki from another god without asking. Force a new name upon us and give us a new form and power. And if we’re stubborn, apparently blackmail and threats are just as effective. Or you can simply hurt us until we break or get rid of us because we’re not working as you want. Like we’re some kind of toy for your amusement.

We’re told we’re entering a partnership with our gods, but in reality, it only goes one way. We have to choose between vanishing or living as a weapon, companion, prize, tool, whatever, for a god we don’t even know.

If you’re a shinki, think about this. If you’re a god, ask yourself why you have a shinki.

[A video feed flicks on. A full moon glows yellow in the sky above, encircled by spiraling clouds. The edge of a sakura tree billows pink and gentle at one side of the screen, releasing ghost-light sakura petals into the winds that carry them away. It’s silent, some for himself to gather his thoughts, some for letting whoever’s listening to him think. Maybe it is rambling, but the experience he went through…]

So what are our rights? Does anyone want to tell me how this is supposed to work?

All of this may not be something some of you gods care about.

But the shinki should know.

[His is a quiet voice, deep like the dark waters far below the surface of the sea.]

I’m aware I’m probably a rare case; most of the gods I’ve met seem decent. Some of you say you’d never act like I’ve described or think like this towards a shinki. That we can trust you. But we don’t know you. So how can we trust you? Ultimately we have to trust our gods because we don’t know anything else. Whether you use that to your advantage or not is up to you.

It’s a disgusting feeling to know you’re powerless against someone else. I can be stolen and wielded by any god who wants me, regardless of how I feel about it. And if I don’t want that, I have to eternally stick by my Master’s side like a frightened child. We’re not free; we can’t even rely on ourselves because our powers, beyond the borderline, is useless unless directed by a god. I didn’t want this, I don’t know if any shinki does.

[A quiet breath seeps backwards above the screen and the edge of a shirt sleeve flutters into view on one side of the screen. Sousuke’s leaning against the wall beside the window, not in sight, but obviously here if someone feels like talking.]

And if any of you gods haven’t yet learned how to track or trace your shinki, you should start working on that now. Otherwise you're going to find yourself out a useful tool for a while simply because some other god wants to do something different for a change.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

How can we make that choice? As far as we know, we woke up dead. No one asked me if I wanted to become a wandering spirit waiting to someone to claim me as their shinki.

If you find something out there, you might want to voice it here so the other shinki and gods can hear it.

Maybe we made the choice to give up our memories for this? Honestly, I don't even know how we could prove that one way or another.

I'm glad you posted though, for some reason this all feels far too comfortable. I don't know how to explain it. Like this sort of life is familiar and it pisses me off.

If I find anything I'll make a post about it.

Giving up memories to become a shinki? You'd have to be stupid or forced to agree to that. But no, we can't prove it.

I don't know why it'd feel familiar. Probably shouldn't think about it though. Usually nothing good comes from that.

The only thing I've felt that towards is a pool.

Or maybe the alternative was worse? Then again, you could be right and we're all snagged for no better reason than they need tools.

Yeah, I'm not comfortable thinking on why this seems okay right now. Nobody told me there was a pool though!

Maybe. If they ever tell us, we might have a lot of angry people on our hands.

My god's castle has two pools beneath it. Another god I know has an ocean of sorts around his temple. Take your pick.

An ocean? I'm starting to realize I don't have a clue as to the expanse of all of this. A little overwhelming, you know?

Aa. It is. Apparently each god has their own temple area and each of those areas has their own land and layout. My god's is a gated castle; the one with the ocean has a large lighthouse.

Lucky! Everything about this place seems so surreal. Even the land of the living.

I guess. What do you mean the land of the living? It looked like a busy city to me. Not really surreal.

I don't know exactly. It just seems weird. Maybe a little small? It's frustrating trying to figure it out though so I've been trying to avoid it.

I guess, if you had something to compare it to. I've been there once and it was packed.

Why did you ask about the pool? Do you swim?

Maybe I do. Not like I'd know right?

And of course I swim! Maybe. You know, I'm not filled with dread when I think about pools so I assume that's a yes.

If you didn't know, you wouldn't be able to compare it, right?

Hn. Maybe we should have a race sometime then.

[Because as much as he gets that negative feeling when he sees the pool, there's also such a longing towards the water he can't even describe. He wants to swim.

He's just not allowed himself to. Yet.]

I was thinking more floating with a poolside drink but sure, I'd be up for a race.

[He doesn't feel the competitive spirit about it, but that's at least another distraction to add to his list. Swimming.]

Sounds good. Once things settle down, I'll look into that and see if I can set something up.

[There are better things to use a pool for than drinking next to it or simply floating in it, but that's only his opinion. The idea of racing though sparks inside him all over again. Something to look forward to.]

I'll look forward to it. Until then I hope you get your answers.

[He's not exactly competitive in that sense. Oddly enough, the idea of hunting down ayakashi sparks that in him more. Another thing not to dwell on.]

Don't expect me to go easy on you. I'll let you know what I find out here.

[Well he's free to toss out other ideas to compete at if he wants; Sousuke's good with doing something active to burn off some of this... stuff.]

If you go easy on me I think I'd be insulted.

[Not realizing how badly he's going to lose at this. It's not something that matters to him so much either, as the distraction should be worth it.

As for things he's good at, he doesn't even know for sure yet. Still, this at least sounds fun!]

Hn. Good to know.

[He's going to really have to get into that pool and find out whether he can or cannot swim. Especially if he's challenging other people to it. Ironic, isn't it.

But it's set and he'll be aiming for it sooner or later.]

So, awkward question. Where do I get a swim suit anyways?

I'm not sure. My god's provided me with clothes.

Maybe the Near Shore?

I'll have to poke around next time I'm shopping then.

[Shopping. That's one word for what he does.]

You go shopping? How?

[This is the first he's heard of actively going out and buying stuff.]

I just kind of walk in and pick up a few things. No one really pays us any mind.

[He hasn't really thought twice about it.]

[Okay so that had been a stupid question. Like asking how someone knew how to cook.]

I meant the money. You pay for things, right?

latentforlife - 2017-01-03 15:57 (UTC) - Expand

takenwithhim - 2017-01-04 03:13 (UTC) - Expand

Heaven's BBS | Text & Video ~ A Stolen Voice

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biggest face palm

Gray morals ftw

oi vey

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