Heaven's BBS | Text & Video ~ A Stolen Voice

[takenwithhim]

Posted: May 21st
From: Sousuke Yamazaki

What are shinki?

I’ve not been here long, so I don’t know the truth. Apparently no shinki can. But I’ve experienced enough.

I don’t like it.

We’re shinki. We weren’t told anything upon our arrival. All we knew is that we’re dead and know nothing else. Other shinki probably had the same experience I did: stumble around until someone told me I had to find a god or something before something bad happened to me. We have to rely on whatever our gods tell us as the truth. We’re told we’re supposed to help our gods with their duties and wants and protect them or fight for them. We can’t exist without you; gods give us form and prevent us from fading away. We have to depend on you to survive.

So what are we to you?

I have a god. A Master. He tells me that I’m human more than I’m his shinki. I don’t know if I believe him entirely.

Not all Masters are like that, are they. Some don’t care what a shinki feels. I guess that’s not far from the truth though. After all, shinki are really nothing more than tools to gods. Gods can pick us up simply because they want something from us. Maybe you feel good having us at your side because you think we remind you of something. Maybe you want us because we’re useful to you or you like our looks or fit your fighting style or powers.

But if it doesn’t work out, if we piss our gods off or don’t please them, they’re allowed to discard us like a broken item. Gods can even cycle through us one after another until they’ve found the perfect tool to fit their current needs. And when you’re done, you can throw us away until you’re ready to use us again. Or left to wander for someone else to maybe pick up before we fade away into nothing.

And we have no choice but to come when you call us whether we want to or not. Because we’re nothing without you. We’re valuable possessions to keep close or useful but expendable objects to get the job done.

I don’t know if all gods are aware of this; I know the shinki aren’t. Gods can even steal shinki from another god without asking. Force a new name upon us and give us a new form and power. And if we’re stubborn, apparently blackmail and threats are just as effective. Or you can simply hurt us until we break or get rid of us because we’re not working as you want. Like we’re some kind of toy for your amusement.

We’re told we’re entering a partnership with our gods, but in reality, it only goes one way. We have to choose between vanishing or living as a weapon, companion, prize, tool, whatever, for a god we don’t even know.

If you’re a shinki, think about this. If you’re a god, ask yourself why you have a shinki.


[A video feed flicks on. A full moon glows yellow in the sky above, encircled by spiraling clouds. The edge of a sakura tree billows pink and gentle at one side of the screen, releasing ghost-light sakura petals into the winds that carry them away. It’s silent, some for himself to gather his thoughts, some for letting whoever’s listening to him think. Maybe it is rambling, but the experience he went through…]

So what are our rights? Does anyone want to tell me how this is supposed to work?

All of this may not be something some of you gods care about.

But the shinki should know.

[His is a quiet voice, deep like the dark waters far below the surface of the sea.]

I’m aware I’m probably a rare case; most of the gods I’ve met seem decent. Some of you say you’d never act like I’ve described or think like this towards a shinki. That we can trust you. But we don’t know you. So how can we trust you? Ultimately we have to trust our gods because we don’t know anything else. Whether you use that to your advantage or not is up to you.

It’s a disgusting feeling to know you’re powerless against someone else. I can be stolen and wielded by any god who wants me, regardless of how I feel about it. And if I don’t want that, I have to eternally stick by my Master’s side like a frightened child. We’re not free; we can’t even rely on ourselves because our powers, beyond the borderline, is useless unless directed by a god. I didn’t want this, I don’t know if any shinki does.

[A quiet breath seeps backwards above the screen and the edge of a shirt sleeve flutters into view on one side of the screen. Sousuke’s leaning against the wall beside the window, not in sight, but obviously here if someone feels like talking.]

And if any of you gods haven’t yet learned how to track or trace your shinki, you should start working on that now. Otherwise you're going to find yourself out a useful tool for a while simply because some other god wants to do something different for a change.

Comments

[koukai_kirai]

[It's sick, he finds himself thinking, horrified by the resignation the younger man's words seem to imply. The familiar routine of his smoking calms him a little bit on the outside, but he's still beyond furious. How the Hell could someone do a thing like that?]

It can get them what they want with a side of blight, hopefully. Still better than they'd deserve.

[Personally, he doesn't think he'd feel a thing about running the bastard through.]

We're aware of our shinki's strong emotions, as well, the negative ones in particular. If anyone's doing something that distresses him that much, I imagine I'll know.

[takenwithhim]

[Resigned, maybe. For now. Sousuke’s a stubborn guy and he’s not about to surrender himself so easily. But at the moment, deep in the night and frustrated with himself and his straights, it’s easier to think and speak at the bottom. After all, he’s had a very large “proof” regarding the vulnerability of a shinki thrown right in his face. A dream’s hard-pressed to stand against reality when it’s so readily apparent.]

Aa. If they want you to do something you’re morally set against doing.

[That’s what he understands blight being. A shinki doing wrong. Simply being upset over something, he doesn’t know if that’ll blight a god. Even a usurping thief of one.]

I was stolen to defeat an ayakashi; the other god simply found me to be the weapon best suited for the job.

[To give the man details on what happened at least. Maybe that’d shed some more light on the situation. At least one what a god might have to expect and plan for.]

Maybe. I’m not sure if a god can feel their shinki if another god is currently in control.

[koukai_kirai]

Any strong enough negative feeling ought to have some effect on them, especially if it's sustained...

[Souji's stung him a little over things like worrying over him too much, so it shouldn't only be moral objection, he's pretty sure...]

[He listens, and sighs again, taking another drag to calm his nerves. When he speaks, his voice is sharp and clear, carefully emptied of emotion.]

I'll look into that matter as soon as possible.

[He doesn't have any names on any nora... but he's sure he knows someone or other who does. Or a god-shinki pair who'd be willing to work with him to investigate this.]

[takenwithhim]

They’ll feel it. Whether it’ll really hurt them, I don’t know.

[Sousuke’s definitely had his down days and been upset with Rin, but he’s only stung his god once and that’s when he felt guilty over lying to him. Who knows. Maybe it’s different for different pairs? It wouldn’t be the first time something’s uneven here.]

I don’t think I’m the only one that would really appreciate that now. Let us know what you find out.

[While there are a few details of his event that he’s quietly handed out to different people as needed, the major message is the same.]

[koukai_kirai]

Hm.

[Hijikata nods, brisk and businesslike. There's fire in his eyes, though, as calm as he keeps his voice.]

As soon as I have the information.

And if the old gods aren't doing enough to prevent gods from abusing their power like that...

[His eyes narrow a bit further, and he stubs out the end of his cigarette.]

I'll be considering what the rest of us can do to address the matter.

[takenwithhim]

[Sousuke glances to the screen again. There is still a lot he doesn't know and while this post has obviously been about letting others know something, it'd be stupid not to get some of his own questions answered. Especially if people are in a talkative way.]

Old gods? What do you mean?

[As far as he knew, until tonight, there was simply gods and shinki. Newer gods, yes, but somehow he doesn't think 'old' in this sense means "the gods that appeared last week."]

Someone suggested shinki pray to gods but I don't think the gods would be willing to abolish the shinki limitations, if we're as important to the gods as people are saying.

[Makes for a strange paradox.]