HEAVEN'S BBS | TEXT

[tadanokusuriuri]

Posted: May 14
From: Anonymous


It seems that I require advice.

Recently, I was... unable to control my emotions in my god's presence. He said something that aroused a suspicion in me, though without the truth of my memory, I cannot easily explain why. The way that he reacted to what he felt from me... now leads me to question what I assumed in that moment.

I have not been able to learn if he was blighted at all, but I suspect he may have been. It seems unlikely that he didn't cry.

I understand that damage of this sort is a risk to god and shinki when we are called on to fight together. What I ask of you, then, is this:

How am I to amend it?


[[OOC: TRIGGER WARNING, especially if your character digs at what made him suspicious and uncomfortable, for potential discussion of sexual and domestic abuse! He doesn't remember any of the abuse survivors he encountered through his work in life on a conscious level, of course, but what made him get all upset was basically misunderstanding a situation as potentially sexual and then hearing "not taking no for answer." If you'd like to reply to this post but would rather avoid some aspect of that, please let me know either in an OOC comment or on my Plurk (cognitiveleague) what I should avoid bringing up, and I'll be happy to work with you!]]

Comments

anon

[revolutionfalcon]

[He's only anon for the sake of not outing his own shinki who anonymously asked for advice the other week, on the off chance something related comes up.]

Discuss it with your god. Though it doesn't sound like your god is one of them, some can't tell if their shinki is having anxieties about them. If they weren't blighted by this, they might not be sure where they and you stand now, and it'd be smarter to get that out of the way as soon as you can.

As for the emotions, this sounds like an instinctive reaction to a wrong assumption. The emotions probably weren't the problem as much as the wrong idea that led to them were, so think twice about it in future. It might not mean what you think.
But that could be harder depending on what it was that set it off.

[tadanokusuriuri]

I held my assumption for only a moment, and yet...

That was time enough for my emotions to strike at him.

By the time I had thought better of it, the damage was done.

[revolutionfalcon]

That makes it harder, because again, that sounds instinctive. Knowing what exactly it was that set it off would help in training yourself out of it, but in a shinki's case it'd be too dangerous to try and figure that out.

Then again, I don't think your god can reasonably expect you to stop feeling something like that, especially not straight away.

[tadanokusuriuri]

My god is... a very emotional person. They take things very personally.

I will try, in the future... to be more wary of feelings I haven't examined.

[This is really the first time his intuition has been wrong, and it's going to be tough learning to trust his instincts enough for them to be useful while still questioning them before they can do any damage.]

[revolutionfalcon]

Then this isn't just you. He needs to get over himself - if he takes all feelings he gets from you or any other shinki he might end up with personally, he's going to endanger you both.

Probably the best way to handle it. It might not be fully effective, but almost no gods actually want shinki to fully restrain emotions.

[tadanokusuriuri]

For the moment, it's only the two of us. But I'll keep the advice in mind as I guide him.

It isn't... that I restrain them consciously, as a rule. I simply don't feel very many of them intensely.

[revolutionfalcon]

Being his only shinki for now should make it easier, at least.

Then it's a good thing he didn't get someone more emotional as a shinki, if that's how he reacts to the occasions you do feel them intensely.

[tadanokusuriuri]

All the same, we'll need to improve his defenses.

[revolutionfalcon]

Definitely. At this rate, if he did get another shinki, he'd probably become a deadweight. You'd probably be better off asking the other people on this post how to deal with that sort of thing, though, because my only suggestion would be to tell him to stop being an idiot about it.

[tadanokusuriuri]

I'll take both of those suggestions into consideration.