thefarshore | Heaven's BBS

Posted: 8 May 2016 08:13 AM
From: Add

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For those who were not already aware, there was an ayakashi attack on April 28th. This ayakashi was actually a shinki that had become corrupted. Some of you may have known that shinki as Axel.

On April 25th, I spoke with Axel and the conversation turned to that of our memories and our existence as shinki.

Those of us who are new gods and shinki are not the same as the natives of this world. The distinction between "outsider" gods and shinki is vague, and some have been able to change from one role to the other through unknown means. Some shinki have even recovered parts of their memory without any ill effects, and so I had some theories regarding that at the time. I theorized that the aversion to discussing our pasts was a mental blockade, but that since we are not "true" shinki, it would be possible to break past this block over time and recover our memories without suffering the same consequences that native shinki might experience.

Axel suggested that our gods may know something of our pasts. Since he was a nora with several gods to choose from, he was also the most likely candidate to be able to convince one of them to reveal something to him. He willingly volunteered to test this theory. The plan was to learn something minor from his past life to avoid any serious damage should the theory be incorrect. Obviously, the plan did not go as expected.

Unfortunately, I have no idea what, exactly, he was told. The Roxas who also goes by Artemis was the one who spoke with him when he turned, and he has decided not to share this valuable piece of information. It could be that what he learned was deemed "too much", or it could be that any information regardless of significance or detail can trigger the negative response. This change also seems to have occurred very rapidly, and it's doubtful that it would be possible to prevent this type of corruption once its set in. I have had personal experience with blight and corruption, and the "normal" process is much slower than what Axel seems to have undergone. Axel was the first of our kind to die by this method, and unlike previous shinki deaths that have occurred, he has not reemerged since. It is possible that shinki who have died from memory-induced corruption cannot be revived by the Heavens.

Due to these details, I have decided to cease any further research on recovering memories via brute force methods, and would strongly advise against any other attempts at this.

It's unfortunate what happened to Axel, but if the Heavens had distributed this information properly instead of forcing us to gather it on our own, this entire fiasco could have been avoided. That is why I am now disclosing this information fully and publicly. If there are any further questions, I will answer them to the best of my ability should no one else step forward.

If you have an issue with me because of my involvement in this, go ahead and say what you want. Hate me if it makes you feel better about yourself. I regret my actions, but regret isn't going to change the facts. Don't expect me to humour you if you feel that mindless violence will somehow bring Axel back to life. I have better things to do with my time than be anyone else's stress ball.

And just in case anyone has too short of an attention span to read all of that:

Do not under any circumstances tell a shinki about their past. If you are a shinki, don't ask about your past. If you are a god and you know something about your shinki, don't ever talk to them about it.

If a shinki learns too much there is a high likelihood they'll become rapidly corrupted by blight and turn into an ayakashi, which will in turn spread to their god(s) until the ayakashi is disposed of. So unless you want to die in a very hideous manner, don't push your luck.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Ah. He was wondering when Sora would see this...

Honestly, if he made this message for anyone, it was for Sora's sake. Add wasn't really close to anyone else who knew Axel. The other Roxas already knew, and the last thing Add wanted was for him to be the one to tell Sora all of this. Even if it made Sora hate him... he'd rather be the one to say it himself, rather than someone else.

But it's still hard, and there's still a lot he's leaving out...]

I was being selfish. I didn't think it would matter if I told you or not.

[The last thing that Sora would feel for Add is hate. He doesn’t blame Add for this happening just like he doesn’t blame Roxas for being the final push either. He has a feeling Roxas probably feels incredibly different about this but that’s something they could talk about later.

He just values honesty. Being told what’s going on so maybe he could have changed things. Because Axel was his shinki too as much as any of the other gods he belonged to. He feels the loss and of his friend and shinki just as hard as Roxas does.

Maybe he could have changed things. Add had talked about wanting to know things about his past before. Maybe he should have identified that. Maybe he should have tried to dissuade Add more. Everyone made mistakes.

But mistakes should be forgiven. ]

He just wishes Add had told him. He feels like a lot of people keep things from him. Why?]

he was my shinki and my friend too, you should have told me

are you doing okay? what do you mean being someone’s stress ball?

I wasn't expecting to be around for much longer, so I didn't want to tell you. [... and he almost stops there, but okay, maybe he should be a little less vague than that.] I was blighted. I'm fine now, but... at the time, I wasn't sure if I'd be allowed to stay once my god found me. [which seems like a really ridiculous thing to worry about now, but hindsight and all that.]

Artemis tried to kill me.

what were you expecting to do? just run off and die too? that's silly. of course chang'e wouldn't get rid of you.

[He really doubts Data-Roxas would get rid of Add for this. But he's glad that Add is safe and not dying from blight.

But that last message. What? Just... What? He can hardly believe it.]

are you joking?

I wasn't exactly thinking straight at the time. [which is the closest Add will get to admitting he was scared out of his mind and panicking.] I know that now. We worked things out between us, so you don't have to worry about that.

It doesn't excuse my actions, but that's why I didn't tell you before. I'm sorry it took me this long to tell you the truth.

[He's a little offended Sora would think he's joking tbh...]

He stabbed me in the chest, so no. He was serious. If Apocalypse hadn't been there to intervene I doubt even Chang'e would've been able to arrive in time to stop him.

it’s okay add. just try and tell me what’s going on if something happens especially if it has anything to do with one of my friends or shinki. maybe I could have helped. you can trust me you know i'm not gonna bite your head off or something.

[It’s just something he really doesn’t want to believe that Roxas actually did. He knew Roxas would be angry… But angry enough to try and kill someone?]

that would explain why he’s not picking up his phone... ugghhhhh

I'll try to from now on. [both telling him and... trusting him, maybe.]

Not really, unless he's already planning a second attempt on my life. If he's moping you should just let him. I sincerely doubt he feels bad about what he did.

neither of those things are gonna happen if i can help it.

[Revenge missions are pointless, why get more people hurt? And he's not gonna let Roxas mope either. Once Sora is done flipping out at him, of course.]

but you can't blame him for being mad either, add.

I never said I did, but I'm not going to give him any pity over it.

Do what you want. I don't want anything to do with him, so you can go ahead and pass that along to him.

[They probably feel the same way about each other in that regard. Man, this is gonna forever be awkward for Sora, isn't it?]

i don't think i'll need to tell him that

anyway thanks posting this, i hope it stops something like this from happening again

and for being honest with me

[Even if it took a bit.]

Hopefully. Perhaps this will inspire more transparency in the Heavens as well.

There's nothing for you to thank me for. All I did was what I should have done from the start.

i'm starting to think we might need some sort of DO AND DONT brochure to hand out to people when they first come here. it'd save a lot of headaches

i think you've change a little add. in a good way. i'm glad you're doing okay now

That's not a bad idea. Yukine has good a post on gods/shinki basics, but it's been buried over the months. Maybe something like that with the other important details added could be sent to newcomers. [but that sounds like a lot of effort...]

Thanks. I'm glad that we're still [friends...??] on speaking terms.

looks like we're making a trip to the printers! [He doesn't mind doing most of the work, could just be a lot of cut and paste of information into one place.]

me too! [Friends.]

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