Heaven's BBS| TEXT+Picture

[thekillerwhale]

Posted: May 1
From: Poseidon
Screened from: Haruka


Someone please help! Σ(°Д°；≡；°д°)

Comments

[cleanmemory]

That...
Are you normally a good cook?
Or is this... normal?
Because jesus

[thekillerwhale]

This...this is worse than normal. (_　_|||)

1/2

[cleanmemory]

Ugh, ok ok
Hold on.

2/2 Voice!

[cleanmemory]

What exactly were you trying to make?

[ Hello, this voice sounds annoyed. ]

Voice

[thekillerwhale]

Aaah...mackerel stew.

[cleanmemory]

[ There's an audible sigh. ]

Okay. Let's talk basics, shall we?

One, that pot is way too small. Unless you're making a single serving, that's not gonna work. And even if you were, it's a waste of ingredients. You'd make a two-person meal with the amount of fish you'd need to make the stew.

Also, not only did you obviously leave it on for too long, which by the way, when you're cooking something, unless you're a professional you shouldn't ever leave it unattended. It's common for fires and other accidents to happen just because someone leaves a stove running.

If you're going to leave a pot, at the least you can bring it down to a simmer. Overboiling makes everything way too soft and it loses the nutrients.

[ There's a pause. ]

....You used sugar instead of salt, didn't you.

[thekillerwhale]

[Oh wow, this guy is actually being really helpful. He responds with attentive. "Yeahs" and "Okays"]

No...? I used--

[You hear some noises as he putters through the kitchen to pick up a container. You hear a little lip smacking noise.]

I CONFUSED THEM AGAIN!

[Again.]

1/2

[cleanmemory]

WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN AGAIN--

2/2

[cleanmemory]

[ Another exasperated sigh. No. He has to calm down. This poor soul obviously has no idea what he was doing. What the hell was he doing in the kitchen, anyway? ]

[ There's a moment's pause. ]

...Were you cooking for someone?

[thekillerwhale]

I was trying to cook for my shinki. He really likes mackerel and he's been in a bad mood since he got here. So I thought cooking him mackerel would cheer him up.

[He sighs.]

[cleanmemory]

Let me give you some advice.

If you have no idea how to cook, at all, don't do anything overly complicated. A stew can be incredibly simple. There's no need to add a lot of this that and the other. With every ingredient you add, it's another variable you have to have proficiency in.

Taste everything before you put it in--with the obvious exceptions, like raw meat. If you're doing a stew and you want it to be creamy, just add milk. Don't try and thicken it with flour unless you know how to properly do so.

But for mackerel, Just boiling it and watching it with maybe a leek and some pepper would have been fine. It's a fish already high in salt content so unless you want it to be extra salty, then go ahead, but taste it first. Understand?

You might as well toss that pot. It'll be a bitch to clean if you burned sugar in it.

[thekillerwhale]

This is good advice. It's a lot to take in, but I'll try to remember for next time.

Maybe I'll just try something a lot easier next time. Like sandwiches.

I really do appreciate it, though.

My shinki can cook, but I don't want to ask too much of him right now. So I'll try to do my best.

[cleanmemory]

It's sweet, but you're a god, aren't you? You should know your own limitations. You should ask someone what to do.

I bet you used a recipe on the internet, too. Unless you already know the basics of cooking, you can't trust those things. [ He's not letting you off the hook that easy! ]

What's your name? Posiden? The sea god?

[thekillerwhale]

That's...true. I can try cooking with one of my friends first then taking it back to Haru.

Ah...Poseidon...Haha...yeah, but I'm not used to being called that. So just Makoto is fine.

[cleanmemory]

[ This guy... ]

You're too nice. [ Stop being cute? ]

[thekillerwhale]

Hahaha;;; Am I? I think I'm more of a busy body.

[cleanmemory]

Funny. That's what people usually call me.

[ There's a pause. ]

I'm the god Guanyin. When on business.

Otherwise, it's Watanuki. [ April 1st. ]

[thekillerwhale]

On business? You mean like answering prayers, right?

It's nice to meet you, Watanuki.

Really, thanks for all the advice.

[cleanmemory]

I couldn't let a sight that sad go without guidance. What kind of god of mercy and compassion would I be, then?

If you need help with things like that: cooking, cleaning, sewing... you can always text me. Please.

[thekillerwhale]

I'm...not really good at any of that stuff. So you'll definitely be getting a text from me. Hahaha...

Thanks for the offer.

[cleanmemory]

Of course.

Take care, Makoto-san.