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[lecturehall]

Posted: April 16, 4:27 pm
From: Anonymous

I hate having to do this. I want that on record.

You can thank those in charge for this. If they had provided a pamphlet or some other information on how we're supposed to adapt to these duties, I wouldn't be here. As it is, I have no choice but to ask the following questions.

... They sound worse than they are, I promise. Anyway,

1. Is anyone here the goddess Chichigami-sama? I'm not quite sure how to phrase this. If you are, would you please come talk to me?

2. If you are not Chichigami-sama, are you a mother? If so and if you have the time, please talk to me.

3. If you are not Chichigami-sama or a mother, are you a woman? Specifically one interested in children. I need to know about... sensitive aspects of it.

4. If you are none of the above but have been assigned/are a god of the opposite gender and have advice on how to deal with followers of the opposite sex, I'm open to listening. I... I've already gotten a request I'm not physically equipped to know how to answer.

5. If you're a man I don't need you. Please keep the inevitable gross comments to a minimum.

That's all. Thank you.


[As a general note Keito's goddess is (basically) a goddess of motherhood. The questions will relate to the stuff that falls under that.]

Comments

[lecturehall]

Do you know... Is there a certain way to ask about that sort of thing? If it's a sensitive subject I don't want to risk offending her. If I can offend her. Can gods offend people?

[dominatriarch]

A direct approach is better than going in circles. Some humans never know what they want until they have it. I suppose you've heard the saying "Be careful what you wish for"?

[lecturehall]

Obviously. It's common enough.

So you're saying I should ask her something blunt and direct such as "Are you all dried up?" You better not be joking. If it doesn't work I'll have to have a stern word with you.

[dominatriarch]

[ Keito pls that's just jumping to conclusions. ]

I meant for you to ask what exactly she meant by that prayer. Surely there's sort of metaphor or deeper meaning behind it apart from literally wanting to flood the world with her milk.

[ Or at least she hopes so. ]

[lecturehall]

I'm not sure what deeper meaning could be behind it other than she can't make enough. It's not like interpreting a dream.

[dominatriarch]

[ Okay maybe she got a little fixated on the flooding part. Or rather, the intent to flood. ]

Nevertheless, it wouldn't hurt to ask. The way the prayer was worded was concerning, to say the least.

1/2

[lecturehall]

Alright, I'll try it. Thanks.

aaand he's back like two hours later

[lecturehall]

Please tell me you're still here.

....this poor boy....

[dominatriarch]

Yes?

he suffers

[lecturehall]

She didn't even have a kid.

s'hard to be the unit mama Keito

[dominatriarch]

[ And the plot thickens. ]

And? Did she give you any reason for her request?

this wasn't in the job description

[lecturehall]

She wants to sell it. Do I still have to grant her wish?

shoulda stuck to idols

[dominatriarch]

[ ....what ]

Does she need the money?

[lecturehall]

I don't know. I was a bit too distracted with her "business plan" to notice anything else.

I don't want to talk to her again.

[dominatriarch]

Some prayers aren't meant to be answered. This is part of a gods' duty.

[lecturehall]

It's not breaking any rule?

[dominatriarch]

If we fulfilled every prayer, the world would erupt into turmoil.

Let me put it this way: For every prayer I receive about winning at pachinko, only a small handful ever do get what they want. Part of our responsibilities involve deciding which prayers deserve attention and which do not.

If you worry about your judgement, this is why you have an exemplar.

[lecturehall]

I never worry about my judgement. [So humble.] I just thought we had to answer all of our followers. My shinki will be relieved, at least. They've been obnoxiously scolding me all day.

[dominatriarch]

[ Much humble very confidence. But she has to hand it to him. At least he sounds like he knows what he's doing.

Maybe. ]

I can only assume you've only arrived so questions are to be expected. If you have any more, please feel free to ask us for assistance.

[lecturehall]

"Us"? Do you mean this forum? Or... is it you and another particular person? [Do online places even work like that? He sure doesn't know.] I'd prefer the latter, if that's an option. I don't like frequenting these sorts of places.

[dominatriarch]

Well, the forum certainly is a start but if you would rather, it does include asking assistance from myself or my shinki.

[ She feels you man. She's still trying to get the hang of this... internet... business. ]

[lecturehall]

You're a god?

[That explains the "us".]

Could I have your name? It'll be hard to call on you for help without it.

[dominatriarch]

[ gdit she keeps forgetting to do that. ]

Of course. I am Bishamon. This heaven's resident Bishamon as I have been longer than these newcomers have arrived. We were tasked with helping the new arrivals when and however we can.

[lecturehall]

[Please allow him at least 15 minutes to have a minor panic attack offline.]

Bishamonten-sama, please forgive my impertinence in asking you such inappropriate questions. It didn't occur to me that someone such as yourself would be here. Foolishly, I had assumed the ones here were relegated to minor or foreign, forgotten gods that bear no meaning anymore. Had I known who I was speaking to you, I would have...

Well, I would have not spoken of it.

Please accept my sincere apology. I would never think to treat you with disrespect.

[He rewrote this apology about 7 times.]

[dominatriarch]

[ ....she was never aware of her own popularity in the modern world until this moment. ]

No it's fine.
Really.
As I've said, we've been tasked to help where we can and if it involves having to answer questions relating to your duties, we'll do what we can.

[ No matter the subject matter. ]