thefarshore | (no subject)

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(no subject)

From: Anonymous
Date: April 17th

I know this may seem like such a trite and of little worthy regard given all that has happened over the last several weeks, but truly, I am a fool who has allowed their thoughts to be consumed with but one thing when I should be focused on my service here. Forgive this, and my fool's heart, but I feel as if I can no longer simply let this fester in my mind.

What does it mean if the very idea of love brings naught but profound pain? The sort that makes your chest ache tremendously, and your mind to burn as if buried in embers. When the very idea of it inspires tears, and no happiness can be found?

I can find none who know this pain. Am I damaged in some way? Is my mind and heart corrupted by a sort of blight we know not of?

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I would long for such a thing, but I know not how to achieve it.

Is there someone close you could talk to? Perhaps your god?

That

is not possible. The cruel conceit of this entire situation is that they are the one that hath wrought such feelings, entirely without intention.

[Oh. That certainly complicates things. It also means while their god might not know specifically what's happening, they might have felt something too.]

Gods can feel our strongest emotions. It's possible they already know you're feeling troubled over something, so you should talk to them still.

But if not your god, are there others you could talk to? Friends?

They know of this darkness.

They know not its cause.

For their sake, they should never know.

[ ... ]

As for others, there are few I trust enough to speak with.

It's not safe to hide things from your god, but more than that, bottling things away doesn't help you. I get why you don't want to tell your god, but will anything change if you do nothing?

The only person that can solve your problems are yourself. You're not wrong for hurting for something that should feel happy. It doesn't have to hurt forever either. Others can help and make it easier, but in the end, only you can control how you feel. To those you do trust in, confide in them. Let them help you.