thefarshore | (no subject)

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(no subject)

From: Anonymous
Date: April 17th

I know this may seem like such a trite and of little worthy regard given all that has happened over the last several weeks, but truly, I am a fool who has allowed their thoughts to be consumed with but one thing when I should be focused on my service here. Forgive this, and my fool's heart, but I feel as if I can no longer simply let this fester in my mind.

What does it mean if the very idea of love brings naught but profound pain? The sort that makes your chest ache tremendously, and your mind to burn as if buried in embers. When the very idea of it inspires tears, and no happiness can be found?

I can find none who know this pain. Am I damaged in some way? Is my mind and heart corrupted by a sort of blight we know not of?

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I know not what causes your very being to ache so, ser. But I would venture so far as to say that 'tis not foolish at all.

I find it commendable and brave of you to come forward as you have.

[ She knew it was possible that Agrias would see this, and she thanked that she'd figured out how to post anonymously prior. But even so, seeing her designation there stung, pretty badly... ]

Tis no bravery. Not compared to what others have done. [ Not compared to Agrias. ]

Worry not over what others have accomplished, ser. Focus instead on what you have done for yourself.

I have done very little for myself. All that I have accomplished has been with the aid of others.

Is that so wrong? What shame is there in accepting succor?

Becoming dependent on such things makes one no better than a helpless babe.

Perhaps it is true that you've been unable to stand on thine own two feet.

But you stand, nonetheless.

That alone is cause for celebration.

Tis folly, celebrating such a thing that others are able to do on their own, without aide.

So certain are you that no aide was given to them?

[ ... ]

One supposes you are correct, that I assume overmuch.

I merely wish to understand.

'Tis an assumption of mine own, that this matter is of grave importance.

I, too, wish only to understand. But I fear the worse. That this is simply a part of my existence.

'Tis never too late to seek to change one's self.

This I assure you.

How does one even change something so profound?

A step forward.

Whether it be under your own strength, or with the aid of loved ones.

'Tis all it takes.

It cannot be so simple. One does not climb a mountain with mere steps.

Is that not what is needed?

The desire to better oneself, and the will to persist in the journey.

In you I already sense one.

[ ... ]

Do you truly?

How can you be so certain?

Would you still be conversing with me if it were not true?

[ She had a point. Even with the veil of anonymity, speaking directly about this to anyone, least of all her goddess, was terrifying... ]

You have such a grand estimation of a stranger. Tis a sign of a truly shining spirit, I would think.

Edited 2019-04-10 02:22 (UTC)

I am simply myself, Ser. A knight who speaks the truth as I see it.

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