thefarshore | [voice]

Entry tags:

[voice]

Posted: January 9th
From: Lavi

[It's early in the morning when something like static almost sounds.

Then Lavi's voice comes on:]

Cardia--otherwise known as the goddess, Hel--is gone. [His voice sounds...almost emotionless, the crack in it being the only bit of emotion giving him away as if he's trying his best to hold something back.]

Nothing's left.

[Nothing. Not even Sisi is left behind. Lavi is quick to cut it off and won't respond right away.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[Shun is prepared to wait for a response, because it's a familiar enough position to him that he knows the kinds of feelings and impulses that usually come along with it. Lavi gets there a little faster than he expects, honestly, and it's nothing he didn't already figure he was going to be hearing.

With the golem settled on one of Lavi's shoulders, Shun places a hand on the other one, the movement slow so he doesn't end up startling him inadvertently. It's not doing anything all that special right now, but it's there and firm and hopefully somewhat grounding in a position where someone feels like they're losing everything. Shun's felt like contact when he was having those thoughts in the past had helped him, at least.]

I know the feeling. [It's not sentimental or a platitude - it's a tone of equal and weighty tiredness to Lavi's. Shun's been here long enough to lose plenty of good people one way or another, and even before that, loss was what was making up most of his life. He'd at least hoped that being dragged to another world might be a break from that, but that hadn't turned out to be the case.] It doesn't feel like there's anything that can be done about it most of the time you lose someone like that. But cutting yourself off from your other bonds isn't the way to fix that. I tried it once, and I had to be pulled back from complete isolation because of it. Stay alongside the people you care about because you don't want to lose them - and if it happens despite all your efforts, know them well enough to know they wouldn't want you to drown in despair for their absence.

[At the touch, he stiffens. While the golem is something he expected, Shun's touch isn't. However, he doesn't brush him off, doesn't bother. Shun has slowly become a pillar for Lavi. One that he's come to unconsciously depend on as much as Cardia. Shun's become a constant presence in his life after they've worked together.

His shoulders slump at the touch.

Words envelop his mind, taunting him.

Do you think he'll stay too?

He'll leave just like Cardia did.

You're a shinki. Nothing more. You're meant to be a Bookman.

Don't get attached.

Lavi takes a shuddering inhale.]

...It's still not easy.

[A silent admission. Lavi knows it's not something he can do right away. ]

[Shun lets Lavi have some time to adjust to the contact before shifting his hand to his upper back instead - it's not exactly a hug, but it's a bit more supporting than the previous position had been.]

Obviously. But not being easy just means it takes time, not that it's impossible for you to do. [Nothing of that nature can be reconciled with so easily that it stops being a problem straight away. If it could be, then it wouldn't be a problem in the first place.]

But taking time doesn't mean you have to do it alone, either. I'm certainly not planning to let that happen. [That's said very firmly. Shun wouldn't have come in the first place if he wasn't planning to offer support more consistently than just for right now.] If you need somewhere to stay, I can offer that as well.

[In one sense or another.]

[He doesn't exactly tense, though he does still briefly when Shun's hand moves to his upper back. This feels like an odd sort of hug or in the beginnings of one. It makes him feel slightly uncomfortable, unsure of how he should exactly feel. Shun isn't...the type to give hugs, hardened by his own war and witnessing people die.

On the other hand, a part of Lavi feels like he needs a hug. But he also doesn't want to ask for it.

Not now.]

....So long as you don't end up kicking me out for being such a downer.

[His words are meant to be joking, but it's still....hard. Lavi wants to hide, wants to remain hidden. but Shun is easier to hide with than most people right now. Right now, the god is perhaps the only person Lavi trusts, more than others he's befriended, more than Ayumu right now.]

[Shun isn't exactly the type to give a full hug in this kind of situation unless he knows someone will be fine with it, and he doesn't have that guarantee with Lavi. So he just stays as is for now, though he frowns a little at the words even if they are a bit of a joke.

He does give a faint, somewhat half-hearted snort a moment or two later, though.] If I kicked anyone else out for being one, I'd have to kick myself out first. You know I'm hardly an optimist.

[To say the least. Though he does go on more seriously from that.] Nobody lives in the downstairs area of the temple, and the stairs are right near the door, so if you'd rather not run into anyone else then it shouldn't be too hard.

[The hot springs and training rooms are down there, but that's about it other than bedrooms.]

[It's a poor attempt at a joke, but Lavi doesn't seem to care.

He slowly nods. He doesn't want to run into anyone else, especially Chinatsu. He's sure if Chinatsu catches word that Lavi is staying there, she wouldn't leave him alone.

Slowly, he lowers his hands away from his head.]

.....Thanks.

[Normally Shun tends to rebuff thanks, though in this situation, he seems more confused that it was considered necessary than actually averse to it.]

I wouldn't abandon a friend to face something like this alone. It's not something I'd wish on anyone important to me.

[He's felt it too many times himself and forced himself to try and deal with it alone not to know how much it hurts. Considering how much more protective he is of his friends and their wellbeing than his own, it goes without saying that he would try to protect them from that feeling.]

[Lavi just nods at that.

He's a little more relaxed now, but it'll still take a long time before he can actually manage to recover from anything like this.]

[Shun isn't going to force him to talk - even if he feels like it's better to verbalise it, Lavi's already done that to some degree, so he's content enough to just be here for him in silence for the moment if that's what's necessary.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[voice]

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject