deniles (
deniles) wrote in
thefarshore2016-08-01 04:08 pm
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Heaven's BBS | Text
Date: 9:30 PM, April 10th
Posted: Niles
I can see certain behavior has a way of becoming repulsive to people.
I wonder, however, for the ones who judge other people if they're so free of the sins they judge others for.
Or is it a case of hiding your sins and deflecting them onto others? In order to make yourself look better in the face of others. To put on this air of strength and power while you inside know how awful of a person you can be.
It's interesting. People and their thought processes.
no subject
Have you heard of the seven deadly sins? Why is your sin of wrath so much worse than my sin of lust?
no subject
Is it worse? I suppose you're welcome to your opinion.
private
I have nothing against you, Hakkai. I certainly don't want to come to blows with you, and I will choose not to contact you anymore. I will not flirt, I will not harrass.
I only ask that you make sure Sanzo and Hibari leave Leo alone entirely.
He is my god. He knows many things about me that I do not know. And I will not hesitate to protect him with my life.
If you can promise me they will leave him alone, to the best of your abilities, I can promise never to bother either one of them again.
And yes. It is a waste of time to lecture me. I have no apologies for my actions towards either of them.
private, several minutes later
2) Understand that I also don't control either of them. I can promise that I will do my best to prevent them from approaching or provoking you or your god, if you can promise that you will avoid approaching or provoking either of them.
3) If either of them attempts to approach or provoke you or Leo in the future, and violence is not immediately necessary in defense, I'll handle them if you contact me about the problem. If you agree to this point I will unblock your number.
private
1. This is correct. My lord has no idea this is happening, and I don't think it will matter to him. But keeping communication to a minimum or negative is preferred.
2. Agreed.
3. If it comes to blows, I will restrain with non-lethal force until you arrive. I would rather not kill them. However, understand that if it comes to that, it will be done.
If we can agree to all of these terms, consider it my apology. And I will agree only to discuss the issues at hand with you in all future cases.
Also; my lord has a child, as he has told me. The man named Forrest. As I don't believe Hibari or Sanzo know him or his connection with my god, I will be watching to make sure that things go well. I simply ask you do the same.
private
Would including that person in the "minimal contact" list be acceptable?
private
Or perhaps you would.
Yes, agreed. However, if you so wish, you are allowed to talk to him. You have a good head on your shoulders. I trust you won't do anything to cause problems.
private
I'm sure you understand my position as well.
Thank you, I have no interest in causing any problems with your god or his relatives. I do have one question: is this person a god or a shinki?
private
A god. As he remembered his father. Funny thing is, Leo didn't remember him. Of course, I don't remember either of them.
private
Well, then, it won't cause any problems if he's known as your god's son.
Although I'm not sure I would believe someone who turned up claiming to be related to my goddess, if she didn't know them.
[That's your choice, of course, Niles! But maybe be careful.]
private
Do I believe it? I don't know. I barely believe my god knew me previously. If my memories weren't gone, perhaps everything would be different.
As of right now, what do I believe? I guess I follow and trust my god. Until proven untrustworthy.
private
I'm surprised that he told you he knew you previously, though. Thoughts like that seem dangerous.
[If they inspire a shinki to pry -- if they make it hard not to dwell on what's forgotten and cannot return... Hakkai's had enough problems with that.
It explains Niles' obsessive loyalty, though, he supposes. The man isn't nearly so obnoxious when he's not refusing to take "no" for an answer.]
private
They do. He won't tell me everything he knows about me either. About my death. Why is he so important to me?!
[It's at this point that Niles feels incredibly frustrated. Because he has been with Leo over and over again to the point where he wants to know more.
On the other end of the device, Niles just sighs and looks at it all.]
Do I trust him? No. Can I be released from him? No.
...Sorry. I think I'm just talking out loud here. I can shut up if you'd like.
private
About you, and your death... I've been told that the reason we can't be told is that many shinki, if they know who they were, can fall into despair. We can't return to life. Remembering our deaths, what we left undone...
I'm not convinced I could bear it myself. The blight would be severe.
private
...He knows. And if he's someone important from my past, my lord as he claims himself to be, then it has something to do with him too. I'm so sure of it.
There's no one else who can help me out either. But I have to know what caused my death. There's the lingering idea that he's the one behind it and lying about everything to me.
private
And what if he isn't involved in your death, but you can't bear knowing how you died?
As shinki, we don't have the same freedom to feel guilt or despair as a god or a living person. If we feel it too strongly, we'll be blighted to death, and so will our god.
We have to trust blindly. I understand it's difficult.
private
[He has to pause for a moment. He feels so lost, so trapped, so out of sorts.]
It feels like if I don't do it, I'm hurting myself. And worst of all, Leo seems to have no problems with it at all. Which makes me feel like this is a part of me that was here long before I died.
It is difficult. Because he knows so much about me, and I feel like I have to pry it out of him to get it.
I'd rather not have to keep prying all my problems out of him. Which is why I guess I'm talking to you right now.
private
Having once done a thing is no reason to continue doing it. As for myself, for instance... I'm certain I was a killer. I still would rather not kill.
You may find it helpful to think of becoming a shinki as your new life.
private
What do you mean?
private
We died. In other words, the men we once were are dead. Regardless of what we do or what we know now, our old lives are over, aren't they?
This is our new life.
private
I guess they are.
I'm not sure what else to say to that.
private
It's simply how I think of it. It may be easier than dwelling on what might have been.
private
I suppose I should at least try it.
private
private
Can I come talk to you if I need more help?
private
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