[text] serious questions from serious people (aka hey look it's a shitpost)

[redotiertwo]

Posted: June 14th
From: Davesprite

ok so
ive been thinking about this for a while but how exactly the fuck does this whole belief to god system work here anyway
i mean we have gods here that nobody except ancient history nerd basement cultists should be worshipping
riding high when some of the big names are spectacular only in their absence
and then theres the question of what bar you have to pass to be considered a god
like where the fuck are our incarnations of the flying spaghetti monster and ceiling cat
or less tragically dated memes
come on people they have religious texts too

[He's been relearning meme culture since he rediscovered it, someone stop him.]

i guess im not that faithful a person because the whole thing seems like grade a spun bullshit to me
but maybe someone can make more sense out of this most gordian of knots

discuss

Comments

[reformedsinner]

How interesting. I hadn't heard of the Flying Spaghetti Monster before.

I'll have to consider a word of thanks the next time I'm making ramen.

[redotiertwo]

i mean being real
given the actual choice of what god you could be here
who wouldnt want to be the patron god of noodly appendages
if its the patron of ramen as well then thats got to be worth prayers aplenty from broke college students everywhere

[reformedsinner]

Ramen must be a part of its domain. Why, it's even named after the noodles.

I'm not so sure about the divinity of Ceiling Cat, who appears to have unorthodox hobbies.

[redotiertwo]

true facts
fsm confirmed for patron god of ramen then this is the kind of evidence you cant overturn

ok but
zeus
just went around fucking anything that moved
literally anything
im pretty sure unorthodox hobbies are required for godhood not a disqualifier

[reformedsinner]

Hmm, good point. And speaking of Zeus, there was that incident with the golden shower, too. I withdraw my objection.

What are your feelings on invisible pink unicorns?

[redotiertwo]

of the options of golden things to shower in its deeply shameful that zeus set the example of piss
instead of like
apple juice
which would immediately turn that from the worst thing ever to the best thing ever

my thoughts are mostly how do you tell something is pink if its also invisible
but maybe thats the true nature of godhood
being able to exist in a state of both pinkness and invisibility
confounding all attempts by mortal mind to comprehend your majestic form

[reformedsinner]

Apple juice? Only if you took a normal shower immediately afterwards. Imagine the stickiness. And the ants.

I believe that the simultaneous expression of pinkness and invisibility is in fact its divine power.

Not very practical, but theologically engaging.

[redotiertwo]

yeah but the only thing you dont need to take a shower immediately after pouring all over yourself is water
unless you want to doom yourself to some kind of mobius strip of showering
pouring water all over yourself to rid you of the water you just poured all over yourself

these are the real theoretical questions
someone call up the nearest college have i got a lecture for their theology department
assuming they have one of those

[reformedsinner]

More interesting philosophical questions!

It would be an interesting experience for them. Receiving theological questions directly from the Heavens.

[redotiertwo]

i mean itd give them a reason for the theology department to exist
so theres that
if i didnt have gods up in my face twenty four seven here i probably wouldnt be in for the legitness of that

[reformedsinner]

This life has given me a new perspective on the importance of theological discussions.

It's also given me a new perspective on their accuracy, so I suppose the discipline comes out about the same for it.

[redotiertwo]

ill toast to that
on both counts
though humanity kind of deserves it being real
the pitfalls of hubris or whatever greek tragedy concept feels most appropriate right now

[reformedsinner]

I suppose we'll have to content ourselves with laughing at mortals.

Since gods can do no wrong.

[redotiertwo]

i mean sure if you buy into that shit
in terms of newcomers you have to draw that line in the sand thats like
optimistically most people who know being told youre a god doesnt suddenly make you infallible
and then the fucknuts who are going to take advantage of it either way

[reformedsinner]

Oh, well, I'm certain that the newcomers are exactly as infallible as the old gods!

[redotiertwo]

so not at all then
dont let them hear you saying that i bet theres at least a few who havent even brushed with the concept of irony

[reformedsinner]

Exactly. Well, I suppose at least I'm safe if they take me seriously, aren't I?

And if not maybe I'll teach a few of them about sarcasm.

[redotiertwo]

yeah
i figure they have more important things to worry about than people sassing them on the internet
if they dont theyre really just proving this point for us

[reformedsinner]

Some gods are quicker to anger than others!

But I agree, it doesn't speak well of them.

[redotiertwo]

true

i mean most of the gods ive met personally have been cool but you always have to account for the assholes

[reformedsinner]

And, apparently, the noodles!

[redotiertwo]

always account for the noodles
only the biggest idiots of them all dont account for the noodles