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[lecturehall]

Posted: April 16, 4:27 pm
From: Anonymous

I hate having to do this. I want that on record.

You can thank those in charge for this. If they had provided a pamphlet or some other information on how we're supposed to adapt to these duties, I wouldn't be here. As it is, I have no choice but to ask the following questions.

... They sound worse than they are, I promise. Anyway,

1. Is anyone here the goddess Chichigami-sama? I'm not quite sure how to phrase this. If you are, would you please come talk to me?

2. If you are not Chichigami-sama, are you a mother? If so and if you have the time, please talk to me.

3. If you are not Chichigami-sama or a mother, are you a woman? Specifically one interested in children. I need to know about... sensitive aspects of it.

4. If you are none of the above but have been assigned/are a god of the opposite gender and have advice on how to deal with followers of the opposite sex, I'm open to listening. I... I've already gotten a request I'm not physically equipped to know how to answer.

5. If you're a man I don't need you. Please keep the inevitable gross comments to a minimum.

That's all. Thank you.


[As a general note Keito's goddess is (basically) a goddess of motherhood. The questions will relate to the stuff that falls under that.]

Comments

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[dominatriarch]

[Technically, she does fulfill conditions 2 and 3 so.... ]

Regarding concerns 2 and 3: what do you need to know?

[lecturehall]

Thank you for responding. In advance, I'm sorry if I sound rude. I've just been having trouble figuring out how exactly the milk gets... where it goes. All the search engines keep giving me...

[A different kind of milk.........]

Well, it doesn't matter. The point is I know it's wrong.

[dominatriarch]

[ There's a long pause before the response. Clearly it's because the god of war has never gotten pregnant (it's a god thing) much less had to breastfeed (also a god thing).

So she's going to approach this the best way she knows how. ]

What exactly was the request given to you?

[lecturehall]

"Please help me flood the world with my milk."

I'm not going to, of course, but it did make me curious. It doesn't seem like a bad thing to know.

[dominatriarch]

[ .....how.... would you even.... why..... did you even..... That's the weirdest prayer she's ever heard. ]

I can only imagine whatever was going through their mind. It seems deluded to say the least.
Unfortunately, there's only so much you can do with requests especially if you've just arrived.

[lecturehall]

That's what I assumed.

It's still frustrating, though. My reluctance to the job aside, I don't like leaving tasks unfinished. If I can, I'd like to do my best to help these people. Even the clearly insane ones. I thought if I could somehow increase the output that would make her satisfied...

... Sorry. This still feels pretty uncomfortable. I'm not even sure it's right to think that sort of thing flows. I don't really like thinking about this sort of thing.

[dominatriarch]

[ This is sounding more like an awkward teenage boy situation. Poor thing. But she has to give him points for sticking to it. ]

While I can't give you any advice on how to increase the flow, I can tell you what to look out for. It would be best to see if you can find what exactly prompted her to make this request. If there is an ayakashi behind it, that can easily be dealt with. If it happens to be some other reason, perhaps it too can be remedied.

[lecturehall]

Do you know... Is there a certain way to ask about that sort of thing? If it's a sensitive subject I don't want to risk offending her. If I can offend her. Can gods offend people?

[dominatriarch]

A direct approach is better than going in circles. Some humans never know what they want until they have it. I suppose you've heard the saying "Be careful what you wish for"?

[lecturehall]

Obviously. It's common enough.

So you're saying I should ask her something blunt and direct such as "Are you all dried up?" You better not be joking. If it doesn't work I'll have to have a stern word with you.

[dominatriarch]

[ Keito pls that's just jumping to conclusions. ]

I meant for you to ask what exactly she meant by that prayer. Surely there's sort of metaphor or deeper meaning behind it apart from literally wanting to flood the world with her milk.

[ Or at least she hopes so. ]

[lecturehall]

I'm not sure what deeper meaning could be behind it other than she can't make enough. It's not like interpreting a dream.

[dominatriarch]

[ Okay maybe she got a little fixated on the flooding part. Or rather, the intent to flood. ]

Nevertheless, it wouldn't hurt to ask. The way the prayer was worded was concerning, to say the least.

1/2

[lecturehall]

Alright, I'll try it. Thanks.

aaand he's back like two hours later

[lecturehall]

Please tell me you're still here.

....this poor boy....

[dominatriarch]

Yes?

he suffers

[lecturehall]

She didn't even have a kid.

s'hard to be the unit mama Keito

[dominatriarch]

[ And the plot thickens. ]

And? Did she give you any reason for her request?

this wasn't in the job description

[lecturehall]

She wants to sell it. Do I still have to grant her wish?

shoulda stuck to idols

[dominatriarch]

[ ....what ]

Does she need the money?

[lecturehall]

I don't know. I was a bit too distracted with her "business plan" to notice anything else.

I don't want to talk to her again.

[dominatriarch]

Some prayers aren't meant to be answered. This is part of a gods' duty.

[lecturehall]

It's not breaking any rule?

[dominatriarch]

If we fulfilled every prayer, the world would erupt into turmoil.

Let me put it this way: For every prayer I receive about winning at pachinko, only a small handful ever do get what they want. Part of our responsibilities involve deciding which prayers deserve attention and which do not.

If you worry about your judgement, this is why you have an exemplar.

[lecturehall]

I never worry about my judgement. [So humble.] I just thought we had to answer all of our followers. My shinki will be relieved, at least. They've been obnoxiously scolding me all day.