Heaven's BBS | Text

[redotiertwo]

Posted by: Davesprite
Date: August 18th

friends romans countrymen
also non romans and countrywomen
how many roman gods do we even have here it cant be that many
anyway
lend me your ears
or listening appendage of choice im not here to judge

the mysterious as fuck whims of this place have recently bestowed on me
a sickass turntable set
which i seem to be pretty fucking good with if i do say so myself

>FILE: crystalanthemums.mp3

so if anyone is in desperate need of the illest of beats for a special occasion
call my name and i will appear dramatically over the sunset like the cowboys of yore

also
while im here
i keep hearing about shinki spells
and also theres some flyers about them around now i guess
but lets have some personal anecdotes first
how actually useful are the spells we can learn
or are they just kind of arbitrary bullshit powers

Comments

From: Prompto Argentum

[photoshooter]

pretty sweet sample dude!
kind of sounds like the background track for exploring an underwater cave in an rpg! ┐(・。・┐) ♪
is that the kind of music you like?

[redotiertwo]

damn now im never gonna be able to unhear that comparison
also i guess
i seem to like a pretty eclectic variety of shit
and also i rap so theres that entire genre and all associated with it

[photoshooter]

oh wow you rap too???
haha you're the whole musical package aren't you! doing the beats and the lyrics and everything
when's your next mixtape gonna drop?

[redotiertwo]

yeah
havent really done it here though
cant exactly show up to slam poetry night looking like this
or the local underground rap scene

im working on it
cant rush perfection
or whatever it is douchebags are saying this week

[photoshooter]

i wouldn't know ( ´艸｀) i'm not a douchebag
but when you do have something you want to share you totally should, okay?? it's really good, it'd rock to hear more!!!

[redotiertwo]

we all have an inner douchebag slumbering inside of us
waiting to be freed and consume the souls of all kale smoothies in a fifty mile radius

noted
i kind of want to try for something more complex
ive mostly been fucking around here being real

[photoshooter]

you should! if this is what you sound like just messing around, i can't wait to hear your REAL talent unleashed!!
also
what's kale

[redotiertwo]

get ready for the slickest unmannerly rhymes your uncomprehending mind has ever heard spun
my verbosity velocity aint shit to be outdone

its fancy lettuce
people act like it can cure cancer and ressurrect jesus but its
just fucking fancy lettuce lets put that on the table right now

[photoshooter]

haha NICE! i see what you did there (*´╰╯`๓)♬
kale sounds kind of gross tho
i mean salads are okay and eating healthy's important but i don't see the point in engineering fancy lettuce? what makes it fancy? does it have a bowtie??
GASP
is that why they call it salad dressing????

[redotiertwo]

its not bad its just
boring
like most lettuce really
fuck if putting a bowtie on it wouldnt make it more interesting though
they should make that their marketing strategy
literal fancy lettuce
thats some god tier sales sense right there

[photoshooter]

i'd eat it!

[redotiertwo]

would you also eat the bowtie
because that seems like the biggest issue here

[photoshooter]

if it was made out of something edible, sure
it could be a seaweed bowtie or something

[redotiertwo]

how many vegetables can you make a bowtie out of
might as well make a whole salad out of it while were here

[photoshooter]

we gotta give him a dapper mushroom hat
and a monocle made from an onion ring
celery walking stick
he'll be fashionable and nutritious!

[redotiertwo]

good
though maybe scratch the mushroom
you need to cook those before eating and were trying to make this accessible fancy salad
maybe he can have a carrot top hat instead

[photoshooter]

sure that works
and slices of those tiny minitomatoes for buttons
man now i'm hungry

[redotiertwo]

sounds like a plan
also good
go make some dapper salad for yourself and tell me how it goes

[photoshooter]

k will do!!

[And after a while, in comes a photo attachment.]

he's happy to see you!

[redotiertwo]

that is some lovingly crafted face salad right there
tell him i said hi
as he awaits his impending demise

[photoshooter]

he says hiiiIIAAAAGGGHH
as i dig in with my fork
om nom nom nom nom
♪♪ (っ˘ڡ˘)っ─∈ nice knowin' you my spinachy friend

[redotiertwo]

rest in pieces lord dapper von spinach
we barely knew ye
maybe youll reincarnate as a god who knows