Heaven's BBS | Anon Text

[saikusu]

From: Anon
Date: July 13, 5:00

I have an inquiry for the other shinki today in regards to an issue that has been picking at me for quite some time. In addition to the memory loss we all arrive with, is it common to experience a loss of, or severe dampening of emotions and the ability to express them?

Comments

Anon

[wadoichimonji]

Mine are all ok, I have experienced a lot of emotions since my arrival.

[saikusu]

I haven't, which is why I asked. What sort of emotions have you experienced?

[wadoichimonji]

Anger, love, happiness, desire, and I can't think of what else.

[saikusu]

Ah. Congratulations. I'd say I was happy for you, but I'm never happy.

[wadoichimonji]

Never happy? How come?

text, from: Asato Tsuzuki

[sweetdeath]

I think my feelings are normal.

what do you mean loss of emotions? like you think you should be feeling something but you don't?

[saikusu]

That is exactly what I mean. Aside from anger, the few emotions I have experienced have been due to the outside forces of god powers, and not my own internal reactions to an event.

[sweetdeath]

you mean a god made you feel something with their powers?

[Now that's just creepy. But it sounds like there's more than just that going on with this guy. (Girl? Whoever.)]

if that's what's going on it's not a shinki thing.

[saikusu]

It wasn't intentional, and he quickly apologized for it.

So I've gathered from the other responses. It seems that I'm not the only one affected, but the overwhelming majority seems to have no difficulties with experiencing emotions.

[sweetdeath]

That's less creepy then.

okay so some shinki have trouble with their emotions, but not all. do you think it's

I mean there are those shinki that seem like they don't have any personality at all, right? some people call them "soulless."

What if something happens to us when we come here? it's not like we're normal shinki. "soulless" might just be the shinki who get hit with it extra hard and you could've got a light dose.

Anon

[latentforlife]

I think that might just be you. I'm finding I'm experiencing things differently than others do so I guess it says something about the sort of person I was.

[saikusu]

What sort of things have been different in your experience?

[latentforlife]

I don't feel guilty about the same things other shinki do. I get excited over things other shinki don't.

[saikusu]

I haven't felt guilty for anything either. What sort of things do other shinki feel guilty about?

[latentforlife]

Things we can easily take for granted since people don't notice us. Like trespassing.

[saikusu]

Why would they feel guilty about stupid, pointless shit like that?

[latentforlife]

Ask a psychologist. I'm just saying that some do and some don't. I think that says more about who you were in life than the effects of being a shinki.

Anon

[rev13_3]

If you are a shinki, how do you know that what you are experiencing is different than what you used to experience?

[saikusu]

I don't. That's why I am inquiring as to whether this is a common experience or not. How else am I to figure this out without risking turning into an ayakashi?

[rev13_3]

Something made you think that you are deficient when it comes to emotional responses. What was it?

[saikusu]

It was not any particular incident, it's just something that I have noticed over time. That others experience emotions that I do not.

[glacierflower]

what are you comparing it to...?

I don't feel any differently, I don't think. I've never been stopped from feeling by anything.

[saikusu]

I'm comparing it to the emotions I've seen from living humans and gods that I don't seem to be capable of experiencing myself.

[glacierflower]

That might have less to do with being a shinki and just your personality.

What do you want to feel?

[saikusu]

That does seem to be the general consensus.

I'd like to feel anything other than anger. I'd like to know if I'm enjoying the things I do, or if I simply tolerate them.

[It's more complex than all of that, but there's a limit to what he can say while anon and still remain anon.]

[glacierflower]

You may have to do a lot of things and compare them. You may need a great many experiences before you can be sure.

text; from: Demyx

[sitarsongs]

Wait, you mean like... you can't feel stuff sometimes? Bummer!

[saikusu]

More like I can't feel emotions most of the time. The only strong emotion I've experienced on my own has been anger.

[sitarsongs]

Wooooow... Sounds like a real personal problem, man! 'Cuz it's definitely you. I'm a shinki and I don't have any problems feeling stuff.

[ Yep, nothing abnormal about him! He's definitely, totally got a heart. Don't be mad! ]

[saikusu]

Lucky you. There's no need to be a dick about it.

[sitarsongs]

Whaaa?? I wasn't being a dick about stuff! Q_Q

From: Kairi; Text

[pure_radiantics]

I don't think anything like that's happened to me, from what I can tell.

[saikusu]

If you've experienced emotions, then I would assume whatever the underlying cause of my problem has not affected you.

[pure_radiantics]

Oh I've definitely experienced emotions. Are you worried this is a symptom of getting blighted maybe?

[saikusu]

No, I have only experienced blight once from a fight with an ayakashi, and my lack of emotions was present before that ever happened.

[pure_radiantics]

If that's true... Hmm...

[She's starting a theory.]

I don't suppose you're familiar with the Soulless? I don't like using that word for them, but it's what everyone else does. I think I should come up with a better name.

anon

[redotiertwo]

Nope, I think that's just you, dude.
If anything, there's way too much going on up in here for my liking.

[Advantages to typing radically differently from everyone else most of the time: all he has to do to go indistinguishably anon is type like a normal person.]

[saikusu]

Based on the other responses, I believe you may be right.

[redotiertwo]

I mean, yeah, overwhelming popular opinion here is looking like this is a you thing.
Instead of, you know, a shinki thing.
Congratulations, I guess.

[saikusu]

So it seems.
Thanks. I guess.

[redotiertwo]

Kind of seems like the appropriate level of enthusiasm. Have fun with the whole emotionless thing.

anon

[kokuyoyo]

[....Oh. Chikusa stares at the screen for a long while before, slowly, flicking on the anonymous option.]

You're not the only one.

[saikusu]

I see. It is... reassuring, I suppose. Are there any emotions at all you experience, or is it a constant state of emotionlessness?

[kokuyoyo]

Sometimes I feel things, but the stimuli either have to be strong or it's as I'm feeling them through a heavy fog.

text | from: Carl Adler

[smilingbullet]

I don't think so, at least I have a wide range of them still. Are you feeling okay? I think that can happen when some people get depression.

[saikusu]

I don't believe this is depression. I don't feel any different from normal.

[smilingbullet]

Okay. Then I don’t have a clue. Maybe you just need to find something that lights a spark and you haven’t found it yet.