Heaven's BBS | Text

[shiitan]

From: Ross
Date: June 22

[He didn't use the BBS much, but today would have to be an exception. With all the all-nighters he'd been pulling as of late, it would be easy for any of the residents or even visitors to Ayumu's temple to tell that he was totally exhausted, but a BBS post made that much easier to hide.]

this is a list of things I need. If you've got extras you need to get rid of, drop them off at vesta's temple

[Some were common things that could be found around the house or close to it, while others ranged from unusual to downright strange.]

I need an angry person too but not right now

[What in the world was he doing.]



[ooc: Canon is vague on the stuff he actually needs and he's got reasons for putting red herrings on the list anyway, so feel free to just make things up for it!]

Comments

[redotiertwo]

come on dude
i would have at least made a jesus christ its a lion get in the car joke if that was actually how it went down
if you want it without the metaphor then coming onto the network asking for an angry person at the end of an ingredients list gives some weird as fuck impressions

[shiitan]

[It was at that moment that Ross thought that the heavens had made some bizarre choices in their picks for gods. Or a god had made a bizarre choice in their pick for a shinki. He wasn't sure which.]

what you just wrote counts as a weird as fuck impression on me so we're even

[redotiertwo]

it usually only takes one message for me to make the weird as fuck impression
i must be slipping

[shiitan]

you can go ahead and keep on slipping. I'd prefer that

[redotiertwo]

no man you dont understand
this is a serious transgression
i can feel the goopy innards of my very self sliding asunder at the thought of not being able to weird someone out within one message
its the tip of the slope that ends with the loss of my deep and delicately cultivated essence as a person
bird person
whatever

[shiitan]

I understand the most important thing

I understand that you should stop typing right now

nsfw text (i'm sorry for him...)

[redotiertwo]

why
am i making you uncomfortable with my throbbing and eager protrusions of metaphor
sliding gently but insistently over your tender virgin ears

[Okay so he's definitely just fucking with him now.]

text (dave pls!!)

[shiitan]

[What did he do to deserve this?

...Okay so it was a lot of things but still.]

wow. I didn't think I'd run into someone who would say such a thing on the BBS. what's this world coming to

[redotiertwo]

welcome to the internet
would you like the guided tour or should i just cut to the chase and point you to the nearest porn and or cat video site

[shiitan]

[Hmmm. Most of his research had been confined to the book variety, but maybe...]

I'd rather skip past those and see sites about the occult and magic first

[redotiertwo]

i dont think i even need to point you to those
just type magic or occult into the search bar and watch the internet purge its deepest most partially digested depths of occult conspiracy bullshit right into your face
it might not even be as bad of an experience as that metaphor makes it sound like

[shiitan]

that'd be fine if I was looking for conspiracies but I'm not

I've read things like that and it's more people who are making things up than it is people who actually know anything about magic

[redotiertwo]

yeah uh
if youre looking for people who actually know anything about magic
the internet probably isnt your best bet

[shiitan]

back to the books then

if I put what I know on the internet but added some fake things they wouldn't even know the difference

[Oh god no. The last thing he needed to do was learn how to troll on the internet.]

[redotiertwo]

do it
lets be real this is exactly what internet occultists deserve
the only real crime is not being able to watch them take the suggestions absolutely seriously

[shiitan]

ah that's right

forget it then there's no point if I can't see them fail miserably

[redotiertwo]

thats the spirit
its the ensuing carnage that makes it truly worthwhile